Oct 12, 2008 8:14 AM CST Post me your most favourite JOKE.
PerspicaciousNewcastle upon Tyne, Tyne and Wear, England UK10 Posts
PerspicaciousNewcastle upon Tyne, Tyne and Wear, England UK10 posts
The British train was quite crowded. A US Marine walked the entire length looking for a seat, but the only seat left was taken by a well dressed, middle-aged, French woman's poodle. The war-weary Marine asked, "Ma'am, may I have that seat?"
The French woman just sniffed and said to no one in particular, "Americans are so rude. My little Fifi is using that seat."
The Marine walked the entire train again, but the only seat left was under that dog. "Please, ma'am. May I sit down? I'm very tired."
She snorted, "Not only are you Americans rude, you are also arrogant!"
This time the Marine didn't say a word; he just picked up the little dog, tossed it out the train window, and sat down. The woman shrieked, "Someone must defend my honor! Put this American in his place!"
An English gentleman sitting nearby spoke up. "Sir, you Americans seem to have a penchant for doing the wrong thing. You hold the fork in the wrong hand. You drive your autos on the wrong side of the road. And now, sir, you seem to have thrown the wrong b***h out the window."
Joke A man died and appeared before the Pearly Gates. "Welcome," said Saint Peter warmly, "and which Heaven would you like to be in?"
"What do you mean, 'which Heaven,'" asked the man.
"Oh, we assign people to the Heaven of their choice, depending on their religion," answered the Saint. "So what's yours?"
"I'm an Atheist," stammered the man.
"Still?" asked St. Peter.
"Never mind," said the Saint. "I'll give you the tour. I do this for lots of folks."
With that St. Peter led the man past all the various Heavens -- the Muslim Heaven of beautiful mats of green grass and bright flowers on which blessed souls reclined while nubile houris ministered to their every need, the Catholic Heaven where blessed souls drank sherry and played bingo, the Jewish Heaven where blessed souls argued passionately about politics and ate latkes -- Heaven after Heaven. Finally, they came to a pair of heavy steel doors. "SHHH!" hissed St. Peter, and they passed in complete silence.
"What was that about?" asked the man, when they were out of earshot.
"Oh, those are the Fundamentalists," answered the Saint. "It would ruin it for them if they knew anyone else was here."
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