How to end a correspondence without hurting the other person? (45)

Mar 3, 2024 2:48 PM CST How to end a correspondence without hurting the other person?
Tulefell
TulefellTulefellGothenburg, Vastra Gotaland Sweden103 Threads 5 Polls 3,298 Posts
Have you ever been in situation when after a while of corresponding you’ve concluded that your counterpart is not whom you’d consider as someone you’d like to go to a date with?

It’s not their fault: they were polite and sincere on every matter, it is not a question of you suspecting a foul play or anything like that. Just one or another tiny sign hinting that it’s not going to work. Just the person as is, is not your pot of tea.

Have you ever been in that situation? How to end the communication without hurting them? Disappear from the radars without a word? Or tell them you are not worth them? Or what?

Advice needed.
Mar 3, 2024 3:23 PM CST How to end a correspondence without hurting the other person?
Tulefell: Have you ever been in situation when after a while of corresponding you’ve concluded that your counterpart is not whom you’d consider as someone you’d like to go to a date with?

It’s not their fault: they were polite and sincere on every matter, it is not a question of you suspecting a foul play or anything like that. Just one or another tiny sign hinting that it’s not going to work. Just the person as is, is not your pot of tea.

Have you ever been in that situation? How to end the communication without hurting them? Disappear from the radars without a word? Or tell them you are not worth them? Or what?

Advice needed.
Im not big on advice but why do you think you will hurt their feelings.
Mar 3, 2024 3:33 PM CST How to end a correspondence without hurting the other person?
Tulefell
TulefellTulefellGothenburg, Vastra Gotaland Sweden103 Threads 5 Polls 3,298 Posts
sdarlagg: Im not big on advice but why do you think you will hurt their feelings.
I consider my counterpart to be human and have feelings. And no, I don't assume that they have the same feelings about the same things as moi. Therefore I wonder.
Mar 3, 2024 3:41 PM CST How to end a correspondence without hurting the other person?
Tulefell: I consider my counterpart to be human and have feelings. And no, I don't assume that they have the same feelings about the same things as moi. Therefore I wonder.
I’m sure this person will understand if you ate straight up about instead of lingering. Too often today a lot of people just ghost the other and that’ not cool.
Mar 3, 2024 3:59 PM CST How to end a correspondence without hurting the other person?
I usually just stop talking and usually so does she.
You can also simpy reduce, or talk so dry and boringly for a few mails
that he should basically lose interest too.
Shorter and further between.

Anyways if non of this works write:
"so after this much communication I feel something is lacking so I decide to simply continue the search as we are not match enough in my view. We two should not go for this. I made up my mind"

If he say ANYTHING else than "ok, I understand and good luck" you block him.
No comments just block.
Mar 3, 2024 4:02 PM CST How to end a correspondence without hurting the other person?
sdarlagg: . . . When you ask to meet up in person, they don’t give you a direct answer.
The next time you ask, they straight up don’t reply. Then, you don’t hear from them again.
Agree, when asked directy a direct answer is called for.
Mar 3, 2024 4:03 PM CST How to end a correspondence without hurting the other person?
directly... with an l
I'm pretty good at being direct... beer
Mar 3, 2024 4:06 PM CST How to end a correspondence without hurting the other person?
Tulefell
TulefellTulefellGothenburg, Vastra Gotaland Sweden103 Threads 5 Polls 3,298 Posts
sdarlagg: Straight I’ve always took to mean ‘be direct’

Ghosted is when some just disappears and or never replies … the silent treatment

Here’s one example for ghosted:

Let’s say that you’ve been chatting with someone over text message for a few days or maybe a few weeks. You feel that you’ve been connecting and getting to know each other. When you ask to meet up in person, they don’t give you a direct answer. The next time you ask, they straight up don’t reply. Then, you don’t hear from them again.
Well, it's pretty straight.
Mar 3, 2024 4:21 PM CST How to end a correspondence without hurting the other person?
Be honest and tactful. No real nice way to do it but it needs to be done so just do it easy but be honest.
Mar 3, 2024 4:25 PM CST How to end a correspondence without hurting the other person?
Tulefell
TulefellTulefellGothenburg, Vastra Gotaland Sweden103 Threads 5 Polls 3,298 Posts
Track16: Be honest and tactful. No real nice way to do it but it needs to be done so just do it easy but be honest.
I am asking for a sentence. You decided that it is not leading anywhere and want to tell it your counterpart. I am asking for precise - precise - wording.

What would yóu say in that situation?
Mar 3, 2024 4:33 PM CST How to end a correspondence without hurting the other person?
Tulefell: I am asking for a sentence. You decided that it is not leading anywhere and want to tell it your counterpart. I am asking for precise - precise - wording.

What would yóu say in that situation?
I gave you that above. Word by word.
Mar 3, 2024 4:49 PM CST How to end a correspondence without hurting the other person?
Tulefell
TulefellTulefellGothenburg, Vastra Gotaland Sweden103 Threads 5 Polls 3,298 Posts
Grandsiozzie: I gave you that above. Word by word.
I never asked you. Thank you for your labour for the last time.
Mar 3, 2024 5:04 PM CST How to end a correspondence without hurting the other person?
You asked all of us.
Mar 3, 2024 5:07 PM CST How to end a correspondence without hurting the other person?
Anyways, your own comments reveal who you are.
If you get that you might achieve something at the end of your life.

Grow up. Wisen up. There is still time.
Yes, I'm off your back.
Mar 3, 2024 5:49 PM CST How to end a correspondence without hurting the other person?
gonelikethewimd
gonelikethewimdgonelikethewimdOsprey, Florida USA3,311 Posts
sdarlagg: Straight I’ve always took to mean ‘be direct’

Ghosted is when some just disappears and or never replies … the silent treatment

Here’s one example for ghosted:

Let’s say that you’ve been chatting with someone over text message for a few days or maybe a few weeks. You feel that you’ve been connecting and getting to know each other. When you ask to meet up in person, they don’t give you a direct answer. The next time you ask, they straight up don’t reply. Then, you don’t hear from them again.
Being ghosted is generally from someone who is just playing games or wasting time with you...

The silent treatment is used as emotional abuse...most likely from someone who you have had many conversations with...not just correspondences...
Mar 3, 2024 8:39 PM CST How to end a correspondence without hurting the other person?
Friendship4ever
Friendship4everFriendship4everSan Bernardino, California USA2 Threads 1,466 Posts
I find communicating with people on CS is just that. I will never meet or date them but communicating is good to get to know each other (if the information is true).

If I notice that our views on politics are different, then we don't talk about politics. Communication about commonalities can keep the conversation going. I've been talking to a few for years, some keep the contact many fell by the wayside. The fallen ones didn't have communication skills and thought it was only about them.

All in all keep the ones you get along with. thumbs up
Mar 4, 2024 12:45 AM CST How to end a correspondence without hurting the other person?
Track16: Be honest and tactful. No real nice way to do it but it needs to be done so just do it easy but be honest.
thumbs up
Mar 4, 2024 2:45 AM CST How to end a correspondence without hurting the other person?
salamuna
salamunasalamunaDeventer, Overijssel Netherlands5 Threads 224 Posts
Hi Tul!

You can just disappear with the words-sorry, i cannot communicate with you anymore. and use the block button. It could be painful for him, but it will solve the problem once and forever.
Or you can make a long and maybe not less painful process taking the blame on yourself - He’s not that bad. it s just you who are not ready for a relationship yet. Possible excuses: you are in love with someone else, you are having a hard time with the breakup of your previous relationship and are not yet ready for a new one, you have absolutely no time for an affair... etc.
You can say something like, “You've been very kind to me, thank you for being there when I needed it. I appreciate it very much,but for some reason I can’t communicate with you anymore".
With these words, you will, firstly, show that you appreciated his efforts in trying to win you. And secondly, you give him confidence that he is not a bad guy and deserves his happiness, just with someone else.
All is up to you. Good luck with this!wave
Mar 4, 2024 3:11 AM CST How to end a correspondence without hurting the other person?
Mercedes_00
Mercedes_00Mercedes_00Greater Sydney, New South Wales Australia18 Threads 20,401 Posts
If it was impossible to correspond with said person face to face I would get on the blower & have a verbal conversation rather than trying to convey how I feel with typed words
Mar 4, 2024 12:50 PM CST How to end a correspondence without hurting the other person?
Tulefell: Have you ever been in situation when after a while of corresponding you’ve concluded that your counterpart is not whom you’d consider as someone you’d like to go to a date with?

It’s not their fault: they were polite and sincere on every matter, it is not a question of you suspecting a foul play or anything like that. Just one or another tiny sign hinting that it’s not going to work. Just the person as is, is not your pot of tea.

Have you ever been in that situation? How to end the communication without hurting them? Disappear from the radars without a word? Or tell them you are not worth them? Or what?

Advice needed.
Much worse to let it go on allowing him or her to live in a fool's paradise. A little cruel, as well. Get 'er done, FFS.....
Post Comment - Post a comment on this Forum Thread

Stats for this Thread

1,795 Views
44 Comments
Created: Mar 3
Last Viewed: 16 mins ago
Last Commented: Apr 12

Share this Thread

We use cookies to ensure that you have the best experience possible on our website. Read Our Privacy Policy Here