How to end a correspondence without hurting the other person? (53)
online today!online today!rohaanCoos Bay, Oregon USA229 Threads 10,523 PostsTulefell: I consider my counterpart to be human and have feelings. And no, I don't assume that they have the same feelings about the same things as moi. Therefore I wonder.
I understand your feelings. You sound very sweet and considerate. I give you 
for that. 
Grandsiozzie: directly... with an l
I'm pretty good at being direct...
HEY!! (i'm not so think as you drunk i am.....)I'm pretty good at being direct...
Tulefell: I am asking for a sentence. You decided that it is not leading anywhere and want to tell it your counterpart. I am asking for precise - precise - wording.
What would yóu say in that situation?
Alas, there is no one sentence that can serve as an umbrella cover. Each must be custom to the individual situation. What would yóu say in that situation?
Tulefell: I never asked you. Thank you for your labour for the last time.
I agree with Ozzie. (You cannot have your cake and eat it, too----posting opens the door, my dear..)
Grandsiozzie: directly... with an l
I'm pretty good at being direct...
Yes ozzie you are indeed.I'm pretty good at being direct...
snowlynx: Yes ozzie you are indeed.
Forgive me snow... deep down, under 25 layers of gung ho cuthroat machine gun Ibiza I'm a softe
rohaan: I agree with Ozzie. (You cannot have your cake and eat it, too----posting opens the door, my dear..)
I did step on her toes, gotta give her that. Love you too.
Grandsiozzie: Forgive me snow... deep down, under 25 layers of gung ho cuthroat machine gun Ibiza
I'm a softe
I'm a softe
Grandsiozzie: I did step on her toes, gotta give her that.
Love you too.
Love you too.
Just say I don’t like you anymore and leave in a blaze of glory
Coldheaven: Just say I don’t like you anymore and leave in a blaze of glory
as harsh as this sounds, it is far, far better and more humane than to let a bad deal keep going on......
salamuna: Hi Tul!
You can just disappear with the words-sorry, i cannot communicate with you anymore. and use the block button. It could be painful for him, but it will solve the problem once and forever.
Or you can make a long and maybe not less painful process taking the blame on yourself - He’s not that bad. it s just you who are not ready for a relationship yet. Possible excuses: you are in love with someone else, you are having a hard time with the breakup of your previous relationship and are not yet ready for a new one, you have absolutely no time for an affair... etc.
You can say something like, “You've been very kind to me, thank you for being there when I needed it. I appreciate it very much,but for some reason I can’t communicate with you anymore".
With these words, you will, firstly, show that you appreciated his efforts in trying to win you. And secondly, you give him confidence that he is not a bad guy and deserves his happiness, just with someone else.
All is up to you. Good luck with this!
Well... thank you for the practical advice. I am very bad at formulating my feelings: could be a social skills issue, that I lack. You can just disappear with the words-sorry, i cannot communicate with you anymore. and use the block button. It could be painful for him, but it will solve the problem once and forever.
Or you can make a long and maybe not less painful process taking the blame on yourself - He’s not that bad. it s just you who are not ready for a relationship yet. Possible excuses: you are in love with someone else, you are having a hard time with the breakup of your previous relationship and are not yet ready for a new one, you have absolutely no time for an affair... etc.
You can say something like, “You've been very kind to me, thank you for being there when I needed it. I appreciate it very much,but for some reason I can’t communicate with you anymore".
With these words, you will, firstly, show that you appreciated his efforts in trying to win you. And secondly, you give him confidence that he is not a bad guy and deserves his happiness, just with someone else.
All is up to you. Good luck with this!
I never had any problem to send an annoying suitor in the direction of the Russian military ship. But I always had problems with ending the communication with people, whom I didn't want to hurt. And the less you want to hurt them, the worse it turns out :(
My absolute record was with my boss, whom I totally admire, when I wanted to express my condolences for her husband's death - whom I knew as a very adorable person - and I was so inept that she had to pronounce all the appropriate words for me. I wished I died on the spot. (But she is known to protect her group from every possible angle, in my case - even from ourselves.) (I wished I to be her in some of my next iterations.)
I took a farewell with all intrinsic to me clumsiness in hope that my counterpart wouldn't feel too hurt.
Mercedes_00: If it was impossible to correspond with said person face to face I would get on the blower & have a verbal conversation rather than trying to convey how I feel with typed words
There might be a language barrier. I do write and read in English. It doesn't mean I speak English. As an example.rohaan: Much worse to let it go on allowing him or her to live in a fool's paradise. A little cruel, as well. Get 'er done, FFS.....
I agree with you and it's therefore I wanted to end it. Got it done already, thanks dad, for better or worse.rohaan: I agree with Ozzie. (You cannot have your cake and eat it, too----posting opens the door, my dear..)
Sure. Though, in my opinionated opinion, a person should understand her or his advice value in a certain situation for a certain person. It is not about allowance to post. It is about the expected reaction.You are not supposed to know, but for me a person's attitude to the current regimen in Russia is important. I don't expect everybody to know and care. But I do watch those, who utter their support. From my point of view:
Ozzy is putler's supporter. Hence, any of his advises to me are anything else but malign. End of story.
It's the cake that I wan't have and wan't eat. It is malign.
The more is left to you, if you want to.
rohaan: as harsh as this sounds, it is far, far better and more humane than to let a bad deal keep going on......
Well I have a little story about that. I had a ten year friendship with an online man my age. It was confined to the site we played on and Facebook messenger and Skype. We started out as friends and played together for a while then he became abusive. He started shit with me saying he could be more popular than me if he wanted to. I said I wasn’t aware it was a competition but yes knock yourself out if you need to. He was the most hated person on that site.i pitied him because he was hated and I felt sorry for him is why I defended him. But while I defended him he was abusive toward me. Went on for years. Eventually I said to him why are you such a creep bring your shit public so everyone can see how you really are. So he did. And he trolled me with personal info that was not mine because I’d never told him anything about myself. But a lot of racism about my family .i followed suit and taught him a lesson.. then the site closed down. Six months later this clown messaged me wanting to be friends again. I said I don’t like you anymore and left it at thatTulefell: Have you ever been in situation when after a while of corresponding you’ve concluded that your counterpart is not whom you’d consider as someone you’d like to go to a date with?
It’s not their fault: they were polite and sincere on every matter, it is not a question of you suspecting a foul play or anything like that. Just one or another tiny sign hinting that it’s not going to work. Just the person as is, is not your pot of tea.
Have you ever been in that situation? How to end the communication without hurting them? Disappear from the radars without a word? Or tell them you are not worth them? Or what?
Advice needed.
Being too nice usually doesn't work, they'll come back. You need to be blunt , straight to the point and honest. They'll appreciate the truth.It’s not their fault: they were polite and sincere on every matter, it is not a question of you suspecting a foul play or anything like that. Just one or another tiny sign hinting that it’s not going to work. Just the person as is, is not your pot of tea.
Have you ever been in that situation? How to end the communication without hurting them? Disappear from the radars without a word? Or tell them you are not worth them? Or what?
Advice needed.
MysteriousGirl80: Being too nice usually doesn't work, they'll come back. You need to be blunt , straight to the point and honest. They'll appreciate the truth.
Yes, indeed. I totally agree with you.
Be blunt Be bold ....Rejection hurts and for some it cuts like a knife but eventually the bleeding stops and the pain goes away
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