I need some advice (34)
blueriver30: I became friends with a man that his wife passed away 2 years ago. He was very clear that he didn't want me to become hooked on him because because he didn't know what he wanted or if he even he wanted anyone.
We spent alot of time together and he said he cared for me very much and it appeared the relationship was building.
He met another girl who was 23 years younger than himself. She reminded him of his first love. He was clear that nothing would happen between them because he thought she was interested in him for the wrong reasons.
He is now dating this girl.
He says I am the best friend he has ever had and has enjoyed the time that we have spent together very much.
I know it is my fault for falling for him, when he had warned me not to.
He told me at one point he was more attracted to me than her.
I would like some suggestions, or help with trying to mend my heart.
If anyone has any suggestions, past experiences , openions, I well come your help
We spent alot of time together and he said he cared for me very much and it appeared the relationship was building.
He met another girl who was 23 years younger than himself. She reminded him of his first love. He was clear that nothing would happen between them because he thought she was interested in him for the wrong reasons.
He is now dating this girl.
He says I am the best friend he has ever had and has enjoyed the time that we have spent together very much.
I know it is my fault for falling for him, when he had warned me not to.
He told me at one point he was more attracted to me than her.
I would like some suggestions, or help with trying to mend my heart.
If anyone has any suggestions, past experiences , openions, I well come your help
I say cut your losses and get out of there - leave him to it
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trish123: I say cut your losses and get out of there - leave him to it
its about having your own needs met as well as his - theres no need to break the friendship, just be less available and get on with your own life.....
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blueriver30: I became friends with a man that his wife passed away 2 years ago. He was very clear that he didn't want me to become hooked on him because because he didn't know what he wanted or if he even he wanted anyone.
We spent alot of time together and he said he cared for me very much and it appeared the relationship was building.
He met another girl who was 23 years younger than himself. She reminded him of his first love. He was clear that nothing would happen between them because he thought she was interested in him for the wrong reasons.
He is now dating this girl.
He says I am the best friend he has ever had and has enjoyed the time that we have spent together very much.
I know it is my fault for falling for him, when he had warned me not to.
He told me at one point he was more attracted to me than her.
I would like some suggestions, or help with trying to mend my heart.
If anyone has any suggestions, past experiences , openions, I well come your help
We spent alot of time together and he said he cared for me very much and it appeared the relationship was building.
He met another girl who was 23 years younger than himself. She reminded him of his first love. He was clear that nothing would happen between them because he thought she was interested in him for the wrong reasons.
He is now dating this girl.
He says I am the best friend he has ever had and has enjoyed the time that we have spent together very much.
I know it is my fault for falling for him, when he had warned me not to.
He told me at one point he was more attracted to me than her.
I would like some suggestions, or help with trying to mend my heart.
If anyone has any suggestions, past experiences , openions, I well come your help
Well we can't help who we fall for sometimes even if they tell us not to...and he seemed to be giving you mixed signals so he obviously wasn't that clear....It seems to me if he is dating someone because she reminds him of his first love..then he's the one dating her for the wrong reasons...BUT...you can always stay friends if it's not too hard...or just move on and be glad that you weren't a convenience for longer while he was waiting for the right one to come along...The truth is saying you care about someone is a far cry from being in love with someone...so yes in that respect he obviously is not sure of what he wants...but this could also be a transition period for him too since his wife passed away...hence the confusion!!!!!
Oh and the only way to heal your heart is with time....
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I have a lot to say about this, but it would all end in 'move on'.
It's going to be hard, but don't stress yourself out, trying to reason with what happened. He has chosen to date another woman, that's it. Whether she is 20, or 45, it is she, he has chosen to be with, not you.
Talk about it, try to find ways to go past this, but leave the reasoning with what is happening with him, out of it.
I'm so sorry!
It's going to be hard, but don't stress yourself out, trying to reason with what happened. He has chosen to date another woman, that's it. Whether she is 20, or 45, it is she, he has chosen to be with, not you.
Talk about it, try to find ways to go past this, but leave the reasoning with what is happening with him, out of it.
I'm so sorry!
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Patience... If you still think highly enough of him to give it a chance, then chances are he'll recognize that and realize that what he really needs is you.
I'm not excusing his behavior and I feel for your situation, but it sounds as though he hasn't yet completed his grieving process.
Like the old saying goes: If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, it's yours. If it doesn't, it never was...
Luck to you.
I'm not excusing his behavior and I feel for your situation, but it sounds as though he hasn't yet completed his grieving process.
Like the old saying goes: If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, it's yours. If it doesn't, it never was...
Luck to you.
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The_Kansan: Patience... If you still think highly enough of him to give it a chance, then chances are he'll recognize that and realize that what he really needs is you.
I'm not excusing his behavior and I feel for your situation, but it sounds as though he hasn't yet completed his grieving process.
Like the old saying goes: If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, it's yours. If it doesn't, it never was...
Luck to you.
I'm not excusing his behavior and I feel for your situation, but it sounds as though he hasn't yet completed his grieving process.
Like the old saying goes: If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, it's yours. If it doesn't, it never was...
Luck to you.
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T o mend a broken heart it takes time or a new man in your life who you totally fall for.Sounds like you were a good friend and he needed that.You were there for him in atime he needed someone to care,pat yourself on the back for that.If you fell fo him,can't control your feelings,but can control your thoughts and actions.If this man calls you,decide if he w is someone you can accept as just a friend.If not let it go and take something valuable from the experience that you may use at another time.
Hope time andbeing busy heals your wounded heart.Afterlosing a wife or husband,people go through stages and he probably was and maybe still is.
Hope time andbeing busy heals your wounded heart.Afterlosing a wife or husband,people go through stages and he probably was and maybe still is.------ This thread is Archived ------
The_Kansan: Patience... If you still think highly enough of him to give it a chance, then chances are he'll recognize that and realize that what he really needs is you.
I'm not excusing his behavior and I feel for your situation, but it sounds as though he hasn't yet completed his grieving process.
Like the old saying goes: If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, it's yours. If it doesn't, it never was...
Luck to you.
I'm not excusing his behavior and I feel for your situation, but it sounds as though he hasn't yet completed his grieving process.
Like the old saying goes: If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, it's yours. If it doesn't, it never was...
Luck to you.
I remember an ol gypsy lady telling me that
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Does he realize how you feel about him? I´m a big advocate of honest and directness. I would tell him how you feel about him and that while you will continue to care about him, it´s to painful for you to be around him as long as he pursues this other relationship.
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jbibiza: Does he realize how you feel about him? I´m a big advocate of honest and directness. I would tell him how you feel about him and that while you will continue to care about him, it´s to painful for you to be around him as long as he pursues this other relationship.
And to add to that, tell him you do realize that he warned you away and has said he is not attracted to you.
I'd apologize to him for how you feel, but indicate that you need to be less of a best friend to him at this time.
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blueriver30: I became friends with a man that his wife passed away 2 years ago. He was very clear that he didn't want me to become hooked on him because because he didn't know what he wanted or if he even he wanted anyone.
We spent alot of time together and he said he cared for me very much and it appeared the relationship was building.
He met another girl who was 23 years younger than himself. She reminded him of his first love. He was clear that nothing would happen between them because he thought she was interested in him for the wrong reasons.
He is now dating this girl.
He says I am the best friend he has ever had and has enjoyed the time that we have spent together very much.
I know it is my fault for falling for him, when he had warned me not to.
He told me at one point he was more attracted to me than her.
I would like some suggestions, or help with trying to mend my heart.
If anyone has any suggestions, past experiences , openions, I well come your help
We spent alot of time together and he said he cared for me very much and it appeared the relationship was building.
He met another girl who was 23 years younger than himself. She reminded him of his first love. He was clear that nothing would happen between them because he thought she was interested in him for the wrong reasons.
He is now dating this girl.
He says I am the best friend he has ever had and has enjoyed the time that we have spent together very much.
I know it is my fault for falling for him, when he had warned me not to.
He told me at one point he was more attracted to me than her.
I would like some suggestions, or help with trying to mend my heart.
If anyone has any suggestions, past experiences , openions, I well come your help
Simular to the situation I am in right now. I care about this woman. But I will never love her! I have told her that I am incapable of love. We met at a bi-polar group and I made it clear there that I am incapable of love. I am sure that half of St Petersburg knows I am incapable of love. However this woman is falling in love with me. She will get hurt in the end. I wish she had the insight to see I am not worth the time and effort!
I have to agree with Trish...cut your losses and Run Forrest Run
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friendships especially new ones are not easy when the goal of each differ.
After a hard separation or death of a spouse, rarely does one hook-up for the long term with the first one they develop a friendship with.
After a hard separation or death of a spouse, rarely does one hook-up for the long term with the first one they develop a friendship with.
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he's the one thats gonna get hurt big time
and ur the one he's gonna run to for help
tell him ur not available to be his friend anymore
get urself a man who is intersted in u go out and enjoy urself girl
dont allow him to take up anymore of ur time
and ur the one he's gonna run to for help
tell him ur not available to be his friend anymore
get urself a man who is intersted in u go out and enjoy urself girl
dont allow him to take up anymore of ur time
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If only we could control who we fall for. You'll be fine, just know that it's time to move on. You'll probably want to make yourself less available at first since it'll be a bit painful to be around him. Don't be surprised if he does what he can to pull you back in, but if you want to get over him you'll need to spend some time around other people.
A warning; if he should at some point spout that he's torn between the two of you, flee as quickly as you can. Other than that just rely on your friends and you'll be fine.
A warning; if he should at some point spout that he's torn between the two of you, flee as quickly as you can. Other than that just rely on your friends and you'll be fine.
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blueriver: I became friends with a man that his wife passed away 2 years ago. He was very clear that he didn't want me to become hooked on him because because he didn't know what he wanted or if he even he wanted anyone.
We spent alot of time together and he said he cared for me very much and it appeared the relationship was building.
We spent alot of time together and he said he cared for me very much and it appeared the relationship was building.
He was honest, you should have listened, this is a case of a woman believing what she wants instead of listening.
In your eyes, Clearly he didn't think so.
Learn and move on.
Why would you waste any more time on this guy?
If you have spent so much time together, his recent actions tell that his heart don't belong to you.
second.. people also need time to heal, meeting someone just after the passing of a mate is definitely the worst time to attempt to hook up with anyone.
look for the right one, he is out there.
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ModestlyAwesome: If only we could control who we fall for. You'll be fine, just know that it's time to move on. You'll probably want to make yourself less available at first since it'll be a bit painful to be around him. Don't be surprised if he does what he can to pull you back in, but if you want to get over him you'll need to spend some time around other people.
A warning; if he should at some point spout that he's torn between the two of you, flee as quickly as you can. Other than that just rely on your friends and you'll be fine.
A warning; if he should at some point spout that he's torn between the two of you, flee as quickly as you can. Other than that just rely on your friends and you'll be fine.
Of course we can AND SHOULD control who we fall for!! Are we that weak?? I should hope not!!
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Oh, I just reread this and noticed he said he was more attracted to you.
Ahhhh, Z is right, he's stringing you along.
Be absent, unavailable, busy and say you are dating lots of other men.
(Even if you are not busy and dating lots of other men)
Ahhhh, Z is right, he's stringing you along.
Be absent, unavailable, busy and say you are dating lots of other men.
(Even if you are not busy and dating lots of other men)
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jbibiza: Does he realize how you feel about him? I´m a big advocate of honest and directness. I would tell him how you feel about him and that while you will continue to care about him, it´s to painful for you to be around him as long as he pursues this other relationship.
Yes he knows how I feel about him. He was honest about how he felt I guess in my heart I didn't want to listen. Thank you
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arabella: Oh, I just reread this and noticed he said he was more attracted to you.Ahhhh, Z is right, he's stringing you along.
Be absent, unavailable, busy and say you are dating lots of other men.
(Even if you are not busy and dating lots of other men)
Be absent, unavailable, busy and say you are dating lots of other men.
(Even if you are not busy and dating lots of other men)
I did tell him I was interested in someone else ...but that is as far from the truth... as there are no trees in Canada lol
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We spent alot of time together and he said he cared for me very much and it appeared the relationship was building.
He met another girl who was 23 years younger than himself. She reminded him of his first love. He was clear that nothing would happen between them because he thought she was interested in him for the wrong reasons.
He is now dating this girl.
He says I am the best friend he has ever had and has enjoyed the time that we have spent together very much.
I know it is my fault for falling for him, when he had warned me not to.
He told me at one point he was more attracted to me than her.
I would like some suggestions, or help with trying to mend my heart.
If anyone has any suggestions, past experiences , openions, I well come your help