Intangibles...? ( Archived) (6)

I believe that the most important and enduring things we should bring to any relationship are always intangible. Not that existence would be all that endearing without some physical amenities, but they take a decidedly secondary place in the scheme of things.

What intangibles do you bring? Are they merely reflections of what you need? Do you completely reciprocate them or initiate them without expectations?
How do you react to situations that will arise that test them?

We are all human and thus intractably frail at our core. We will err but with grace we can mend even the most dilapidated foundations.

What acts or lack thereof for you absolutely destroys your intangibles or at least their ability to coexist in a relationship?

That's food for thought. Really don't know how to answer those questions, except to say that learning and growing from experiences is the most important aspect of being human. That is what everyone should bring to a relationship, the willingness to learn and grow.

I bring the intangibles of loving a person for who they are, and being there during the bad and the good. I bring self-confidence, inner peace, and quiet strength...along with monogamy, honesty, trust, compassion and humor. These are the intangibles that are who I am. They are the person I am at the core, or that I have grown to be through life's experiences and lessons.

I have had many situations that have tested them...as well as tests that have created them. Yes, I'm human and i make mistakes. We all do. However, I tend to learn from mine, and to be able to forgive others for theirs.

Nothing has ever absolutely destroyed my intangibles...it is the trials of life that have given them to me...but, their ability to successfully coexist in a relationship has been destroyed by a total lack of respect for me and the relationship, along with a selfish attitude on the part of my partner that I needed to change and meet their needs, but that didn't go both ways. Two marriages were to men who had to be in ultimate control and were convinced that they were the only ones who were right...the last one, the thing that destroyed the relationship was his death. I believe it was the only thing that could have rent that one asunder.

Being open honest and also being able to count on your partner, without a thought of how why when where --- being able to make a moment's desication and know he or she will stand with you good or bad.

The give and take must be equally shared. reciprocate or initiate, if it,s not equal then you really don't have that so cold staying power.