What would you do... (58)
sweetowenSomewhere, Pennsylvania USA289 Threads 5 Polls 8,850 Postsif the spouse of one of your best friends came onto you. Would you tell the friend? Would you just sweep it under the carpet & hope it never happens again? Would you tell him/her it was totally inappropriate & if they do it again, you'll spill the beans?
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The latter....you can't just ignore it....that's just trashy...
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This has happened, and I just act as if I don't understand. I just blow it off. Take two salt tablets and keep marching.
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The last options sounds the best in the circumstances
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I wouldn't say something to my friend straight off, chances are she wouldn't want to hear it and you could loose an friend. But i would warn him if he did it again the s* would it the fan and make sure i was never in his company alone
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NAKEDMUDPEOPLE: Great advice. I think I would also tell him. He needs to remove himself from her site. That way she is not running from him. He may think it is a chase. Men like this have no idea.
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sweetowen: if the spouse of one of your best friends came onto you. Would you tell the friend? Would you just sweep it under the carpet & hope it never happens again? Would you tell him/her it was totally inappropriate & if they do it again, you'll spill the beans?
Your answer is in your quote.
Best to be up front with those types who's actions are inappropriate.
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Very very sticky situation to be in! It depends on what the state of their relationship is. If she has already been "caught" in the act of cheating or is a well known flirt, well then you are doing nothing more than making a kettle seem Blacker. I just wouldn't want to be the one to tell a man that thinks his wife is the shining example of morality that something like that happened. This could cause drastic consequences, you are talking about smashing someones whole perception of the woman he loves unconditionally. Very Ticklish Situation very Ticklish..
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A friends boyfriend hit on me. She was about to sell her home, re locate and buy a business for/with him. It nearly ruined our friendship but she asked around and found out i was not the only one. Was a really hard decision to tell her because i knew it would hurt her, but in the end i was so pleased i did
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Probably just tell the individual to F off......and steer clear.
Happened in my past.....and that is what I did.......no need for hassles.....nor aggravation....not my issue.
Now if i didn't know who the boyfriend was...........
Happened in my past.....and that is what I did.......no need for hassles.....nor aggravation....not my issue.
Now if i didn't know who the boyfriend was...........
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I certainly would not tell my friend I would not want to ruin our friendship..
I would more than likely go with the third choice and make sure he knew from then on I was aware of his trashy , inexcusable behaviour.
I would more than likely go with the third choice and make sure he knew from then on I was aware of his trashy , inexcusable behaviour.
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Apologies...hi Morgan......
You're back here or still in freezing UK?
You're back here or still in freezing UK?
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I did nothing for about a year ... joked it off. Ignored/deleted the emails and erased the phone messages. She had been my best friend for 20 years and I did not want to make waves in their marriage.
Finally I told him if he did not stop I would tell his wife but he persisted. Said he knew I would not hurt my best friend.
My son convinced me I needed to tell her or he would never quit ... so I did. Her husband told her I was the one who was making the advances. Even though she found the emails he had sent on her computer and they made mention of the fact that I never responded, she still believed him.
It ended our friendship. We have not spoken since.
Would I do it again? In a heart beat because it was the right thing to do.
Finally I told him if he did not stop I would tell his wife but he persisted. Said he knew I would not hurt my best friend.
My son convinced me I needed to tell her or he would never quit ... so I did. Her husband told her I was the one who was making the advances. Even though she found the emails he had sent on her computer and they made mention of the fact that I never responded, she still believed him.
It ended our friendship. We have not spoken since.
Would I do it again? In a heart beat because it was the right thing to do.
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RastaManVibe: Very very sticky situation to be in! It depends on what the state of their relationship is. If she has already been "caught" in the act of cheating or is a well known flirt, well then you are doing nothing more than making a kettle seem Blacker. I just wouldn't want to be the one to tell a man that thinks his wife is the shining example of morality that something like that happened. This could cause drastic consequences, you are talking about smashing someones whole perception of the woman he loves unconditionally. Very Ticklish Situation very Ticklish..
Well, it happened quite a while ago, actually. But it was more than once. He's a huge flirt. She knows that. But he tried to kiss me one night & I pushed him off. Then he told me that if anything were to happen to her, I'd be the one he'd want to be with.
She's one of my very best friends!Just recently though, she did find out that he'd been having an affair. It's supposedly over now, but he still works with the girl. She's also married & her husband found out & made my friend's husband confess to her.
She's been working on trying to salvage the marriage. He's been little help. IMO, she should just cut her losses & move on. I'm sure the fact that they have a young child plays a huge factor in her decision.
As my minister had told me & my ex during one of our counseling sessions pre-marriage... marriage is not 50/50. It's 100/100. You both have to give it your all!
Now, the husband still grabs my behind & stuff like that. I just joke with him & shake my finger at him. But my other friend tells me I need to tell the wife & tell him to stop it.
I don't want to lose her as a friend, which given the situation, probably isn't likely to happen. I also don't want to be caught up in the situation.
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Yes, a very good (married) friend of my ex came on to me a few times. I made it clear I was ignoring his offers/gestures and he got the message eventually and stopped.
I didn't tell either my ex nor his friend's wife, no. There was no need to upset the apple-cart.
Don't really understand it.... he had a much younger model anyway!!
I didn't tell either my ex nor his friend's wife, no. There was no need to upset the apple-cart.
Don't really understand it.... he had a much younger model anyway!!
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Has happened to me in the past....more than once
Bad Bad boys.....
Bad Bad boys.....
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Assets52: I did nothing for about a year ... joked it off. Ignored/deleted the emails and erased the phone messages. She had been my best friend for 20 years and I did not want to make waves in their marriage.
Finally I told him if he did not stop I would tell his wife but he persisted. Said he knew I would not hurt my best friend.
My son convinced me I needed to tell her or he would never quit ... so I did. Her husband told her I was the one who was making the advances. Even though she found the emails he had sent on her computer and they made mention of the fact that I never responded, she still believed him.
It ended our friendship. We have not spoken since.
Would I do it again? In a heart beat because it was the right thing to do.
Finally I told him if he did not stop I would tell his wife but he persisted. Said he knew I would not hurt my best friend.
My son convinced me I needed to tell her or he would never quit ... so I did. Her husband told her I was the one who was making the advances. Even though she found the emails he had sent on her computer and they made mention of the fact that I never responded, she still believed him.
It ended our friendship. We have not spoken since.
Would I do it again? In a heart beat because it was the right thing to do.
This amazes me....I did the same as you and the friendship ended....their relationship later broke up and she wanted to rekindle our friendship....
guess what I said....
Too late buddy you had your chance....move on...
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stefonline: This amazes me....I did the same as you and the friendship ended....their relationship later broke up and she wanted to rekindle our friendship....
guess what I said....Too late buddy you had your chance....move on...
guess what I said....Too late buddy you had your chance....move on...
I am always baffled by this. If a man has an affair, why is it perceived by the wife that he must have been dragged kicking and screaming, why is it always the "other woman" to blame and not him?!!
A slight loss of perspective, me thinks?!
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roseofsharon: I am always baffled by this. If a man has an affair, why is it perceived by the wife that he must have been dragged kicking and screaming, why is it always the "other woman" to blame and not him?!!
A slight loss of perspective, me thinks?!
A slight loss of perspective, me thinks?!
Youthinks?
Methinks too!
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kick him in the nuts...don't think it would ever happen again.
By telling your friend, you will have one less friend. jmo
By telling your friend, you will have one less friend. jmo
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Created: Feb 2009
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