I don't know if any of you can help me (34)
RadioheadFan123Rochester, New York USA115 Threads 28 Polls 471 PostsI'm trying to help a friend out who has a negative view of himself. He tells me "I'm ugly" "I'm a burden" etc. etc. and I try to tell him "no you aren't." Eventually after a while of trying to help him I feel frustrated and worried. He tells me "No you don't understand what I've been through." "You don't understand why I think the way I do." no I don't understand that, I'd have to be a mind reader and I'm not. I don't know what to do or say. He says he feels more and more alone and that everyday he gets more and more insane. I honestly try to help him but it's gone to the point where I don't know what to do. I try to help him feel better about himself but it seems like whatever I try to do is futile. 
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RadioheadFan123: I'm trying to help a friend out who has a negative view of himself. He tells me "I'm ugly" "I'm a burden" etc. etc. and I try to tell him "no you aren't." Eventually after a while of trying to help him I feel frustrated and worried. He tells me "No you don't understand what I've been through." "You don't understand why I think the way I do." no I don't understand that, I'd have to be a mind reader and I'm not. I don't know what to do or say. He says he feels more and more alone and that everyday he gets more and more insane. I honestly try to help him but it's gone to the point where I don't know what to do. I try to help him feel better about himself but it seems like whatever I try to do is futile.
Sounds like depression. I've been through it, have had similar experience. Not being ignorant when I say this, perhaps professional mental could help him.
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RadioheadFan123: I'm trying to help a friend out who has a negative view of himself. He tells me "I'm ugly" "I'm a burden" etc. etc. and I try to tell him "no you aren't." Eventually after a while of trying to help him I feel frustrated and worried. He tells me "No you don't understand what I've been through." "You don't understand why I think the way I do." no I don't understand that, I'd have to be a mind reader and I'm not. I don't know what to do or say. He says he feels more and more alone and that everyday he gets more and more insane. I honestly try to help him but it's gone to the point where I don't know what to do. I try to help him feel better about himself but it seems like whatever I try to do is futile.
convince him to get medical help immediately! depression is no joke, or whatever his additional ailment may be.
Good luck
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This goes deeper than needing to hear 'your not fat'. Sounds like depression. You need to suggest professional advice. Feeding his depression will only send him deeper into it.
Be careful you are not having your emotions played with.
You cannot save this person, this person needs to want to save themselves.
Be careful you are not having your emotions played with.
You cannot save this person, this person needs to want to save themselves.
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He's obviously in need of something that we doctors call a "stunning female"...You'd be surprised just how a simple remedy like that will cure the condition...
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If you are personally unable to convince him to get help, possibly try and get in contact with family members. Depression is very serious. They can possibly convince him to get help or even have him 302'd (Forced by law to get help) if it is serious enough and he is a threat to himself.
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i agree sxc but i would like to know a few things about him before i give a professional opinion.....
1 how old is he...
2 how long has this problem been going on...
3 has he been out on any dates lately
4 what kind of family life did he have..
5 when did you notice these things about him....
answer these questions for me and i can tell you exactly whats going on with him....please trust me...
1 how old is he...
2 how long has this problem been going on...
3 has he been out on any dates lately
4 what kind of family life did he have..
5 when did you notice these things about him....
answer these questions for me and i can tell you exactly whats going on with him....please trust me...
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sambhava: He's obviously in need of something that we doctors call a "stunning female"...You'd be surprised just how a simple remedy like that will cure the condition...
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blueyes34: i agree sxc but i would like to know a few things about him before i give a professional opinion.....
1 how old is he...
2 how long has this problem been going on...
3 has he been out on any dates lately
4 what kind of family life did he have..
5 when did you notice these things about him....
answer these questions for me and i can tell you exactly whats going on with him....please trust me...
1 how old is he...
2 how long has this problem been going on...
3 has he been out on any dates lately
4 what kind of family life did he have..
5 when did you notice these things about him....
answer these questions for me and i can tell you exactly whats going on with him....please trust me...
1 he is 20
2 years, I'm sure he's been depressed like this before I've known him, and I've only known him for about two years or so.
3 yeah and they didn't go well
4 he doesn't have a very good relationship with the parents he lives with, he tends to get into arguments with them.
5 he started acting this way two weeks ago
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Da10th: Sounds like depression. I've been through it, have had similar experience. Not being ignorant when I say this, perhaps professional mental could help him.
Ditto, Da. I went thru this with my son. We got him help. He is doing fine now.
Your friend needs help,NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Get him to a therapist to be evaluated.
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It just sucks feeling so helpless like I can't do anything to help.
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Da10th: If you are personally unable to convince him to get help, possibly try and get in contact with family members. Depression is very serious. They can possibly convince him to get help or even have him 302'd (Forced by law to get help) if it is serious enough and he is a threat to himself.
Ditto, to this and Buzzy's comment...he needs help, NOW!!!!
He can't do this on his own at this point. You could be in a position to help save a life.
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It's a possibility but it sounds pretty genuine to me. It doesn't sound like he is trying to get pitty.
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RadioheadFan123: It just sucks feeling so helpless like I can't do anything to help.
You can...convince his family to take their blinders off and force him to get help.
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RadioheadFan123: It just sucks feeling so helpless like I can't do anything to help.
Don't do this
Nothing you can do except be a good friend, help him get help. Never let someone with depression drag you down with their sinking ship. Only thing you can do is help him get help. Beating yourself up is only going to hurt you. People with depression don't realize the hurt they put on their friends & family when they are the way they are.
Again, best thing you can do is be there as a friend and help him get the help he needs by helping him get help.
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sambhava: He's obviously in need of something that we doctors call a "stunning female"...You'd be surprised just how a simple remedy like that will cure the condition...
He does.
He thinks that she is part of it.
I mean he doesn't know if she likes him back and that makes him depressed.------ This thread is Archived ------
Get him to a therapist, or get a pastor to talk with him, immediately.
If you were to talk to his parents, your friend could turn against you and think you are a traitor.
If he is depressed, his dates could be picking up on his depression and that could be the reason his dating is not doing so well.
Thank you for your concern. Be a friend, and push the counseling. You are a good friend to him.
If you were to talk to his parents, your friend could turn against you and think you are a traitor.
If he is depressed, his dates could be picking up on his depression and that could be the reason his dating is not doing so well.
Thank you for your concern. Be a friend, and push the counseling. You are a good friend to him.
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Have him watch some Deep Thoughts clips on youtube...laughing=good therapy
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ok first thing he is 20 and the mood swings he is having is not good...it sounds like everyone just abandoned him...you need to make sure he is working as much as possible and something that will occupy him mind as much as possible...the computer would be a good thing and try to get him a date ASAP...what you say to him and what he feels isnt going to matter...have you suggested he talk to a priest...he needs to talk to a stranger...that always helps and it makes him feel more comfortable.he will say more to a stanger then a family member.....the best advice i could give you about him right now with the little i know about him is dont abandon him....but dont go out on the limb for him either...let him pull his own weight and do his own thing...try to get him and appt. with a woman psychiatrist...a guy his age will be more comfortable talking to a woman then he would a man....this is the most important advice i could give you if he has any pills in the house are a weapon get rid of it without him knowing...if he continues with these mood swings and talking like he wants to kill himself call the police dept and they will get in touch with the coroners office and make and emergency commital on him...he will be checked into the nearest hospital and given the proper treatment...you need to be with him through this dont leave him....i hope i helped you ..let me know if i can be more help to you....
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RadioheadFan123: He does. He thinks that she is part of it. I mean he doesn't know if she likes him back and that makes him depressed.
I'm going to be frank about myself. Having gone through depression & suicidal tendancies, it wouldn't matter how clear she was about liking him. There will always be something else to cause him to feel that way. There are triggers in life that spark this in individuals. Some are more previlant in some than in others, but the feeling of hoplessness always remains. I had depression since I was in my young teens but it didn't manifest until I was in my mid-20s to be a serious threat. I had a beautiful g/f at the time, but somewhere in my mind, I was never good enough or there was always something I would think of to figure that something was either amis or wrong.
People with depression reasoning is not like that of someone that can think normally. It's not a reasoning of doubt, but of hopelessness and despair. Noone can reason with you, noone can relate. There is nothing that makes you feel better. The situation just seems to get more & more gloomy. It is a self-destructive mentality. I got to the point where I began to drink excessively, it affected me on & off the job in the army, and to the point where I was put on suicide watch numerous times. I eventually sought medical treatment because my sergeant & commanding officer both agree'd that I was at a breaking point and that I was becoming a liablity not only to myself, but to my unit.
After leaving the army, I actually got so bad that I actually did attempt suicide. Again, I sought professional medical treatment, which I recived properly (In the army mental medical treatment is poor at best and shunned by the commanders). I now take medications that help me balance my mental well being. I live a steady life now. Life still sucks, but I deal with it, I don't allow my emotions to control what happens, which is what would happen if it was untreated.
I honestly don't like putting myself out there like this, but if it helps someone deal with their depression, then it is all the worthwhile. Hope this helps you understand what he is going through somewhat.
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Created: Feb 2009
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