Sorry children, but it's all true..
On December 15,2012 it's all going
down..
At 7:00am. when you walk out to your
front porch to pick up the morning
paper in your slippers the sky will
be an errie red..
You won't think to much of it til you
hear strange sounds getting louder from
beyond the hill..
You shut your door and peer through the
keyhole and you can make out strange
creatures bounding accross the fields..
Hundreds of them..no..thousands..
In a minute you can make out the forms
charging like lighting..
They are vicious hounds from hell with
red eyes and dripping saliva blood..
Suddenly, a clap of thunder shakes the
earth and lighting splits your neighbors
house in two..
You notice that a few of your neighbors
have begun to drag the streets like zombies
and their eyes have been burnt out of their
heads..
You run to the phone to call your husband at
work but the line is dead..and so is he.
Meteorites begin pounding the earth and hail
stones weighing 700 pounds are crushing
buildings like match boxes..
The earth has shifted off it's axis and the sun's
radiation is burning all plant life like tinder..
The moon has cracked apart and the stars are exploding in violent colors
People are coming up out of their graves and trying
to sell you a life insurance policy with low premiums..
You watch the weather man on TV turn into some green
slime and then pop like a bubble..
Your bottom lip begin to drip down on your big toe
and you notice that the cat has run off with your
breasts..The mailman knocks on your door and when you
answer he's nothing but a skull with snakes running
through his eye sockets
You vomit in his face and he thanks you..but still delivers
the mail..
Soon the hounds of hell are tearing your house apart
and their salva is an acid burning holes though the sidwalk..
Vultures with hellish screeches and wings seventy feet wide
begin snatching up bedazed towns people and soaring them up
into clouds of fiery ash
More mutants rise from the dead and grow wings
Flying at sonic speeds..
You begin to feel your body change into deaths
breakfast
You have become super strong and you run down the street
and rip the neighborhood bully's head off just for kicks..
The earth splits in half and you ride into deep space on what was left of your peaceful habitat
The world is now only 300 feet wide and a confused duck along with your mother-in-law blazes into the
eternal night
The moon? Gone.
Your new lawn mower? Zip
The hot chick chick you were
dating? She's history.
Welcome to 2012!