Personal privacy or total openness in a committed relationship? ( Archived) (30)

May 25, 2012 12:47 PM CSTPersonal privacy or total openness in a committed relationship?
NecaRob
NecaRobNecaRobNew Castle, Pennsylvania, USA10 Threads 10 Polls 39 Posts

Personal privacy or total openness in a committed relationship?(Vote Below)

- (To Vote: select an option above, then press this button)
I want my absolute privacy!
2
2%
Some privacy is good
35
41%
Total openness! I have nothing to hide!
43
50%
Other- Please explain
6
7%
Total Votes
86
Some people want their privacy while in a committed relationship. Some believe this can lead to lack of trust. Some want/need total openness between their partner and themselves. Please tell me what you prefer and I'd love to hear why. There are no right or wrong answers. Everyone is different. Thank you!
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May 25, 2012 12:55 PM CST Personal privacy or total openness in a committed relationship?
Boban1
Boban1Boban1bigplace, Central Serbia Serbia144 Threads 5 Polls 18,789 Posts
NecaRob: Some people want their privacy while in a committed relationship. Some believe this can lead to lack of trust. Some want/need total openness between their partner and themselves. Please tell me what you prefer and I'd love to hear why. There are no right or wrong answers. Everyone is different. Thank you!

well before a relationship gets to the part of being "committed",Im sure that both partners will find what suits them ( this doesn`t apply if one of them happens to be stinking rich)...grin
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May 25, 2012 1:11 PM CST Personal privacy or total openness in a committed relationship?
NecaRob
NecaRobNecaRobNew Castle, Pennsylvania USA10 Threads 10 Polls 39 Posts
Boban1: well before a relationship gets to the part of being "committed",Im sure that both partners will find what suits them ( this doesn`t apply if one of them happens to be stinking rich)...


I would hope so! But alas, some people rush into a relationship before knowing if the person is fully compatible. I admit, I've actually done it. Live and learn.
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May 25, 2012 1:16 PM CST Personal privacy or total openness in a committed relationship?
englishelegance
englisheleganceenglisheleganceBirmingham, West Midlands, England UK76 Threads 1 Polls 3,025 Posts
NecaRob: I would hope so! But alas, some people rush into a relationship before knowing if the person is fully compatible. I admit, I've actually done it. Live and learn.


Yep....lessons are there to be learnt and its shame on us if we dont!!!yay
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May 25, 2012 1:26 PM CST Personal privacy or total openness in a committed relationship?
Diamant67
Diamant67Diamant67Riga, Latvia9 Posts
You are right, there are no "right" or "wrong" answers, I suppose the point is - how compatible those two are in their opinions...
For me it would be some tiny space of privacy, yes, and I do not mind if that other half has his one, too (of course, if its not something illegal, criminal, painful, etc;))
Golden midway, so to say.
Anyway, wish you good luck, and enjoy weekend!
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May 25, 2012 1:33 PM CST Personal privacy or total openness in a committed relationship?
almera03
almera03almera03portsmouth, Hampshire, England UK11 Threads 3,913 Posts
I've never locked my phone or had a password on my pc or emails, never check my pockets and worry whats in them, am not going to start either......

When it comes to whats in my head, its empty anyway laugh
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May 25, 2012 1:39 PM CST Personal privacy or total openness in a committed relationship?
minnie50
minnie50minnie50puerto plata, Puerto Plata Dominican Republic3 Threads 2 Polls 710 Posts
hoolet: so if there is no openness and similarities..........what´s the point in getting started????


Through the openess the parts can discover the similarities.
just that sometimes happens to an invasion of thoughts...
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May 25, 2012 1:39 PM CST Personal privacy or total openness in a committed relationship?
someonesvoicejee
someonesvoicejeesomeonesvoicejeemumbai, Maharashtra India78 Threads 665 Posts
hoolet: so if there is no openness and similarities..........what´s the point in getting started????


thumbs up
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May 25, 2012 1:41 PM CST Personal privacy or total openness in a committed relationship?
minnie50
minnie50minnie50puerto plata, Puerto Plata Dominican Republic3 Threads 2 Polls 710 Posts
Some people only need a physical relationship, the similarity is irrelevant to them. in my case I choose to start at the beginningbouquet
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May 25, 2012 2:04 PM CST Personal privacy or total openness in a committed relationship?
NecaRob
NecaRobNecaRobNew Castle, Pennsylvania USA10 Threads 10 Polls 39 Posts
Personally, I am totally open to whoever I'm with. My lady is always welcome to be with me anytime, talk with any/all of my friends, read my email, view my phone, etc.... I do understand needing your space at times to just be alone with your thoughts or your friends. What would make me start to wonder would be if she was constantly texting or talking with someone else and not willing to even say who it is. If it's innocent, then what's the harm? No, I don't need to know every detail of the conversation. But I don't appreciate any secrets. I feel this way because I've been cheated on twice in this way while I was being the trusting man and giving her her privacy. So I hope I can find a lady who is willing to be open with me, as I will her.
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May 25, 2012 2:19 PM CST Personal privacy or total openness in a committed relationship?
LonelyMontse08
LonelyMontse08LonelyMontse08San Pedro Sula, Honduras15 Threads 797 Posts
minnie50: Total openess is ideal, not forgetting that the parties must have their own spaces for their thoughts.

thumbs up
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May 25, 2012 6:12 PM CST Personal privacy or total openness in a committed relationship?
bubbles2012
bubbles2012bubbles2012Southern Brisbane, Queensland Australia22 Threads 1 Polls 784 Posts
NecaRob: Some people want their privacy while in a committed relationship. Some believe this can lead to lack of trust. Some want/need total openness between their partner and themselves. Please tell me what you prefer and I'd love to hear why. There are no right or wrong answers. Everyone is different. Thank you!


For a relationship to work there must be openedness, but you must also repect the other person's right to privacy... You need to able to communicate what is an acceptable boundary... but first you have to find out what is the no go zone - otherwise how do you that you are trespassing into their privacy...

dunno laugh
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May 26, 2012 2:13 AM CST Personal privacy or total openness in a committed relationship?
Mysticalli
MysticalliMysticalliTeresina, Piaui Brazil6 Threads 5 Polls 1,303 Posts
I have nothing to hide so total openness is more reasonable to me. It doesn´t mean that I will view his phone or emails. But as soon as I feel he´s hiding something from me, the trust begins to fade away.
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May 26, 2012 2:15 AM CST Personal privacy or total openness in a committed relationship?
Nikogas
NikogasNikogasMetro, Oregon USA46 Threads 5 Polls 4,037 Posts
Mysticalli: I have nothing to hide so total openness is more reasonable to me. It doesn´t mean that I will view his phone or emails. But as soon as I feel he´s hiding something from me, the trust begins to fade away.


I am going to send you a resume if you dont mind..and some personal references..
innocent
hug
smitten
purple heart
kiss
;-}
xxxxx
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May 26, 2012 2:20 AM CST Personal privacy or total openness in a committed relationship?
Mysticalli
MysticalliMysticalliTeresina, Piaui Brazil6 Threads 5 Polls 1,303 Posts
Nikogas: I am going to send you a resume if you dont mind..and some personal references..





;-}
xxxxx


laugh no need that, Nikogas. hug kiss
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May 26, 2012 2:31 AM CST Personal privacy or total openness in a committed relationship?
Nikogas
NikogasNikogasMetro, Oregon USA46 Threads 5 Polls 4,037 Posts
Mysticalli: no need that, Nikogas.


c'mon now.bouquet
you should have the cd in the mail overnightrose
purple heart smitten lips
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May 26, 2012 2:35 AM CST Personal privacy or total openness in a committed relationship?
chris27292729
chris27292729chris27292729IOS island, South Aegean Greece93 Threads 15,811 Posts
To my opinion total opennes is the best,but nothing to hide verges to impossibility. You hear people,telling their partner, after for decades living together. """Oh,i didn't know that,and always was under the impression,i knew everything about you."""
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May 26, 2012 2:41 AM CST Personal privacy or total openness in a committed relationship?
NecaRob: I would hope so! But alas, some people rush into a relationship before knowing if the person is fully compatible. I admit, I've actually done it. Live and learn.


My own family chooses not to know MY truth so they will never know the true me.
They will never know the sister we once had because they are in denial.

If you want to know the truth let them speak freely and keep your mouth shut and your heart and mind pure.
Acceptance, forgiveness and love will provide you with commitment.
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May 26, 2012 3:01 AM CST Personal privacy or total openness in a committed relationship?
kaligulas
kaligulaskaligulasargolida, West Greece Greece1 Threads 1 Polls 49 Posts
for me the personal privacy and the let each other some space for fantasy to relax or totall freedom is always a pandora box the relationship to be destroyed.i have seen it to others i have seen to me.so i dont need more examples to see that this type of relationships are bad.there should be not totally freedom in a relationship in order the couple to protect each other.pandora box for people who dont know is from greek pyhtology.it ia a box who someone opened it because he had the freedom and choice to open it and they came out all the bad things of the word except hope.so you unterstand what i mean
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May 26, 2012 3:23 AM CST Personal privacy or total openness in a committed relationship?
kaligulas
kaligulaskaligulasargolida, West Greece Greece1 Threads 1 Polls 49 Posts
Mysticalli: I have nothing to hide so total openness is more reasonable to me. It doesn´t mean that I will view his phone or emails. But as soon as I feel he´s hiding something from me, the trust begins to fade away.


true.somehow like this my trust on my wife have gone in period of time even if she was not doing something bad
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May 26, 2012 3:29 AM CST Personal privacy or total openness in a committed relationship?
kaligulas
kaligulaskaligulasargolida, West Greece Greece1 Threads 1 Polls 49 Posts
totall openness is the best and never hide something from your partner,even if you have a problem,your partner should know in order to help you.hiding something and these stuff about privacy is totally destruction.i was multiple times shocked in my marriage when i was finding out things for my wife from others or bymyself and i was wondering all the time why she was hiding me these things.its totally terrible to hide things from your partner and to become the last person in the world to find out what your partner did or she or he is doing
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May 26, 2012 3:46 AM CST Personal privacy or total openness in a committed relationship?
almera03
almera03almera03portsmouth, Hampshire, England UK11 Threads 3,913 Posts
kaligulas: totall openness is the best and never hide something from your partner,even if you have a problem,your partner should know in order to help you.hiding something and these stuff about privacy is totally destruction.i was multiple times shocked in my marriage when i was finding out things for my wife from others or bymyself and i was wondering all the time why she was hiding me these things.its totally terrible to hide things from your partner and to become the last person in the world to find out what your partner did or she or he is doing
If it was in her past, what right do you have to know about it, some would say "none"...

If you throw a tantrum the first time she relates something to you, she wont do it again. You acting all shocked would have warned her that you can't handle the truth..... that girl is a quick learner beer
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May 26, 2012 4:22 AM CST Personal privacy or total openness in a committed relationship?
almera03
almera03almera03portsmouth, Hampshire, England UK11 Threads 3,913 Posts
kaligulas: believe me her past always causing us problems to our present relationship.so you are worng.she was comparing me with exes.so i should i know about her past.you cant unterstand a person and make life with him or her better if you dont know and unterstand her or his past first.humans are not machines who delete mistakes from past and never repeat them again,they are humans who repeat the same and the same mistakes if they dont mention them and someone help them to overcome these mistakes
Ok let me read between the lines and fill in what you have ommited......

Her past was a problem to "you" which manifested into a problem for her, that then yes would mean her past caused you both problems....

The problem though is, your constant needing to know, your constant wanting answers, your constant "I'm right your wrong", you have no right, if she wants you to know, she will tell you....


you reap what you sow...........beer
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May 26, 2012 4:55 AM CST Personal privacy or total openness in a committed relationship?
bubbles2012
bubbles2012bubbles2012Southern Brisbane, Queensland Australia22 Threads 1 Polls 784 Posts
kaligulas: believe me her past always causing us problems to our present relationship.so you are worng.she was comparing me with exes.so i should i know about her past.you cant unterstand a person and make life with him or her better if you dont know and unterstand her or his past first.humans are not machines who delete mistakes from past and never repeat them again,they are humans who repeat the same and the same mistakes if they dont mention them and someone help them to overcome these mistakes


Hang on a minute - Her past is her past, not your's - ask yourself why are finding out things from other people - why she not talking to you - maybe because your a being too hypercritical, too judgmental, too controlling - give her breathing space - when she wants to tell you something - listen - but for heavens sake let her live and deal with her past - her way!!!!
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May 26, 2012 7:16 AM CST Personal privacy or total openness in a committed relationship?
bubbles2012: Hang on a minute - Her past is her past, not your's - ask yourself why are finding out things from other people - why she not talking to you - maybe because your a being too hypercritical, too judgmental, too controlling - give her breathing space - when she wants to tell you something - listen - but for heavens sake let her live and deal with her past - her way!!!!


choir very intuitive
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May 26, 2012 10:36 AM CST Personal privacy or total openness in a committed relationship?
kaligulas
kaligulaskaligulasargolida, West Greece Greece1 Threads 1 Polls 49 Posts
kaligulas: of coruse i would tell everything bad i did.she knows everything bad i have done all my life.whenever she asks me something i sit and talk with her everything to destroy every question in her mind cause if i dont problems will arise


the problem is that she is not honest with me as i am honest with her.and in every relationship if one doesnt talk about past have secrets and is not honest this relationship si doomed
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May 26, 2012 1:19 PM CST Personal privacy or total openness in a committed relationship?
kaligulas: the problem is that she is not honest with me as i am honest with her.and in every relationship if one doesnt talk about past have secrets and is not honest this relationship si doomed



Has she murdered anyone...........has she kissed the pope??? ASK..........and if you don´t get answers......then you should start to worry. Get my drift????
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Jun 1, 2012 6:49 PM CST Personal privacy or total openness in a committed relationship?
Undcvr_Rebel
Undcvr_RebelUndcvr_RebelKingswood, New South Wales Australia31 Posts
NecaRob: Some people want their privacy while in a committed relationship. Some believe this can lead to lack of trust. Some want/need total openness between their partner and themselves. Please tell me what you prefer and I'd love to hear why. There are no right or wrong answers. Everyone is different. Thank you!

Thats rich!!!! So if no one agrees with your point on long term relationships they are then doomed to fail??? and this coming from the same person who has no trust what-so-ever in his own partner!!!
You are not even in a "loving, trusting" relationship yourself so how the hell can you say that about others? doh
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Jun 1, 2012 6:51 PM CST Personal privacy or total openness in a committed relationship?
Undcvr_Rebel
Undcvr_RebelUndcvr_RebelKingswood, New South Wales Australia31 Posts
OOPS...that last comment was for kaligus
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Jun 1, 2012 7:18 PM CST Personal privacy or total openness in a committed relationship?
Jantie
JantieJantieperth, Tayside, Scotland UK4 Threads 161 Posts
almera03: Ok let me read between the lines and fill in what you have ommited......

Her past was a problem to "you" which manifested into a problem for her, that then yes would mean her past caused you both problems....

The problem though is, your constant needing to know, your constant wanting answers, your constant "I'm right your wrong", you have no right, if she wants you to know, she will tell you....you reap what you sow...........


handshake
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Jun 1, 2012 8:11 PM CST Personal privacy or total openness in a committed relationship?
almera03: If it was in her past, what right do you have to know about it, some would say "none"...

If you throw a tantrum the first time she relates something to you, she wont do it again. You acting all shocked would have warned her that you can't handle the truth..... that girl is a quick learner
thumbs up
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Message #318

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86 Votes
3,451 Views
30 Comments
by NecaRob (10 Polls)
Created: May 2012
Last Viewed: Apr 20
Last Commented: Jun 2012
Last Voted: Jul 2017

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