I'm Fine! (55)

Jun 27, 2015 6:19 PM CST I'm Fine!
Ccincy
CcincyCcincyCincinnati, Ohio USA87 Threads 27,090 Posts
RainComeShine: Everyone has problems of one sort or another and it's not always that easy to let a good friend know if you're down in the dumps.




The way I see things is that if they are a really good friend they would encourage that person to do so.
Jun 27, 2015 6:21 PM CST I'm Fine!
RainComeShine: How often do we say that we're fine when clearly we are not? We may say it because we know that others are far worse off than ourselves or because we don't like confrontation.

We may say it in order to convince ourselves that we're fine.

We may say it because we're proud.

Sometimes perhaps we should just say. Actually I'm not fine.


thumbs up

Generally, when people say hi how are you, they don't really want to know, it's just a turn of phrase but it can be more annoying when you're actually fine and they won't believe you, some actually look at you as if the say the cheek of you to be fine! dunno
Jun 27, 2015 8:03 PM CST I'm Fine!
Conrad73: seems CS or my Computer just Burped!


Connie.. wave

You might be a little wrong but you're Fine! F-ed up, Insecure, Neurotic and Emotional.. laugh

wine
Jun 27, 2015 8:47 PM CST I'm Fine!
F ucked
I nsucure
N eurotic
E motional
Jun 28, 2015 12:00 AM CST I'm Fine!
Ocee102
Ocee102Ocee102unknown, Indiana USA6 Threads 1,923 Posts
RainComeShine: How often do we say that we're fine when clearly we are not? We may say it because we know that others are far worse off than ourselves or because we don't like confrontation.

We may say it in order to convince ourselves that we're fine.

We may say it because we're proud.

Sometimes perhaps we should just say. Actually I'm not fine.



Sometimes I do say I'm not fine, but saying I'm fine when I'm not, is generally just a polite f-off to someone I've no intention of talking to about what's up for me because they either don't really care, I don't anticipate enjoying what they would do with the information, or it's just none of their business.

There are of course exceptions.
Jun 28, 2015 12:35 AM CST I'm Fine!
The song title is an acronym for "Fúcked Up, Insecure, Neurotic, and Emotional", as stated in the album's liner notes.

Jun 28, 2015 4:42 AM CST I'm Fine!
RainComeShine
RainComeShineRainComeShineDevon, England UK29 Threads 29 Polls 613 Posts
minnieme2: Generally, when people say hi how are you, they don't really want to know, it's just a turn of phrase but it can be more annoying when you're actually fine and they won't believe you, some actually look at you as if the say the cheek of you to be fine!
Hi minni

I think you have it in a nutshell
Jun 28, 2015 4:44 AM CST I'm Fine!
RainComeShine
RainComeShineRainComeShineDevon, England UK29 Threads 29 Polls 613 Posts
Ocee102: Sometimes I do say I'm not fine, but saying I'm fine when I'm not, is generally just a polite f-off to someone I've no intention of talking to about what's up for me because they either don't really care, I don't anticipate enjoying what they would do with the information, or it's just none of their business.

There are of course exceptions.
Hi Ocee

I find that men are more cagey than women and get more upset about people knowing their business. It is a sort of pride don't you think?

dunno
Jun 28, 2015 4:51 AM CST I'm Fine!
RainComeShine
RainComeShineRainComeShineDevon, England UK29 Threads 29 Polls 613 Posts
Dragos

great track and my point exactly.

buddies
Jun 28, 2015 4:59 AM CST I'm Fine!
RainComeShine
RainComeShineRainComeShineDevon, England UK29 Threads 29 Polls 613 Posts
NAKEDMUDPEOPLE: F ucked
I nsucure
N eurotic
E motional


So you're fine too I take it?





hug handshake
Jun 28, 2015 5:00 AM CST I'm Fine!
RainComeShine
RainComeShineRainComeShineDevon, England UK29 Threads 29 Polls 613 Posts
Lolette: You can say you're fine to people whom you judged could do nothing to sort you out,, but to real friends who knows you well, you can be true and honest, it could be a temporary relief.


A problem shared is a problem halved!
Jun 28, 2015 1:19 PM CST I'm Fine!
Ocee102
Ocee102Ocee102unknown, Indiana USA6 Threads 1,923 Posts
RainComeShine: Hi Ocee

I find that men are more cagey than women and get more upset about people knowing their business. It is a sort of pride don't you think?


It's not pride, for me.

Outside my intimate relationships, very little good comes of telling others when I'm struggling. I've never been offered a job, or a promotion because I'm feeling overwhelmed, or insecure, or sad.

It's much the same with women. Once they're emotionally invested in me, there's an upside to letting them in, but before that? I might as well just shoot myself in the foot. laugh

It's different in relationships, but expressing vulnerability still carries the very real risk of loss of value to our partners.
Jun 28, 2015 1:38 PM CST I'm Fine!
Ocee102: Sometimes I do say I'm not fine, but saying I'm fine when I'm not, is generally just a polite f-off to someone I've no intention of talking to about what's up for me because they either don't really care, I don't anticipate enjoying what they would do with the information, or it's just none of their business.

There are of course exceptions.


Sometimes just to be funny I'll say horsh*t but thanks for asking.. laugh

How are you Ocee.. wave

wine
Jun 28, 2015 6:35 PM CST I'm Fine!
Ocee102
Ocee102Ocee102unknown, Indiana USA6 Threads 1,923 Posts
bohemianjack: Sometimes just to be funny I'll say horsh*t but thanks for asking..

How are you Ocee..



I am godlike. grin
Jun 28, 2015 6:44 PM CST I'm Fine!
KNenagh
KNenaghKNenaghAachen, Kilkenny Ireland10 Threads 11,822 Posts
RainComeShine: How often do we say that we're fine when clearly we are not? We may say it because we know that others are far worse off than ourselves or because we don't like confrontation.

We may say it in order to convince ourselves that we're fine.

We may say it because we're proud.

Sometimes perhaps we should just say. Actually I'm not fine.


There are people I can tell if I'm not fine. They're the important ones who care and will be there for me.

I don't see much good in discussing this with others or at work though.
Jun 28, 2015 7:16 PM CST I'm Fine!
RainComeShine
RainComeShineRainComeShineDevon, England UK29 Threads 29 Polls 613 Posts
I think if your distress is causing you to hurt others then it's good to at least reveal that there's a problem even if you don't disclose what the problem is.

This poll has been a learning curve for me. Quite enlightening.

Thanks to all who participated.

handshake cheers
Jun 29, 2015 11:00 AM CST I'm Fine!
Obstinance_Works
Obstinance_WorksObstinance_WorksManchester, Greater Manchester, England UK3 Threads 1 Polls 6,786 Posts
RainComeShine: How often do we say that we're fine when clearly we are not? We may say it because we know that others are far worse off than ourselves or because we don't like confrontation.

We may say it in order to convince ourselves that we're fine.

We may say it because we're proud.

Sometimes perhaps we should just say. Actually I'm not fine.


If I'm going to lie then I'll lie well. I've been having chest pains recently and I'd not told any of the women around me because they'll worry too much. I found out it was a ligament strain and then told the girls, but before then I could only tell men.

If I pretend to be ok it's usually to be protective, and I feel more protective over women I care about than men I care about. I also know men will take worrying news better and be less of a burden on my conscience.
Jun 29, 2015 11:05 AM CST I'm Fine!
Obstinance_Works
Obstinance_WorksObstinance_WorksManchester, Greater Manchester, England UK3 Threads 1 Polls 6,786 Posts
Obstinance_Works: If I'm going to lie then I'll lie well. I've been having chest pains recently and I'd not told any of the women around me because they'll worry too much. I found out it was a ligament strain and then told the girls, but before then I could only tell men.

If I pretend to be ok it's usually to be protective, and I feel more protective over women I care about than men I care about. I also know men will take worrying news better and be less of a burden on my conscience.


This is contrast to the woman's "I'm fine" which is a poor lie that isn't supposed to be believed and is actually anything but protective and is instead a manipulative act of tacit aggression.
Jun 29, 2015 11:39 AM CST I'm Fine!
KremaP
KremaPKremaPAt home, Shumen Bulgaria5,283 Posts
Well, I generally feel fine...Usually I am the one that asks this question, due to my work, which includes therapeutic procedures.
The best thing is to have someone you can share anything with. Just a meaningless funny conversation could work miracles.

If I feel a bit down I usually answer "Nothing to complain about..." wine
Jun 29, 2015 12:02 PM CST I'm Fine!
Obstinance_Works
Obstinance_WorksObstinance_WorksManchester, Greater Manchester, England UK3 Threads 1 Polls 6,786 Posts
Obstinance_Works: If I'm going to lie then I'll lie well. I've been having chest pains recently and I'd not told any of the women around me because they'll worry too much. I found out it was a ligament strain and then told the girls, but before then I could only tell men.

If I pretend to be ok it's usually to be protective, and I feel more protective over women I care about than men I care about. I also know men will take worrying news better and be less of a burden on my conscience.


Basically the chest pain problem shared with a man became a problem halved, the same problem shared with a woman became a problem doubled. When I tell a woman about a problem of this kind I often wish I'd never said anything and that's usually why I'll pretend to be fine.

Also, when I told women it was a strain their first instinct was annoyance at not telling them sooner about the pain. The men I hadn't told first instinct was relief at it not being more serious. Her instinctive response was to think of herself and her feelings, his first response was to think of me and my wellbeing. It makes one wonder which gender really is the more compassionate sex.
Jun 29, 2015 12:08 PM CST I'm Fine!
2intrigued
2intrigued2intriguedMississauga, Ontario Canada15 Threads 24,548 Posts
Obstinance_Works: Basically the chest pain problem shared with a man became a problem halved, the same problem shared with a woman became a problem doubled. When I tell a woman about a problem of this kind I often wish I'd never said anything and that's usually why I'll pretend to be fine.

Also, when I told women it was a strain their first instinct was annoyance at not telling them sooner about the pain. The men I hadn't told first instinct was relief at it not being more serious. Her instinctive response was to think of herself and her feelings, his first response was to think of me and my wellbeing. It makes one wonder which gender really is the more compassionate sex.


Based on what you're saying here, I must be a man then. giggle All kidding aside, I'm glad you're alright Obs. hug
Jun 29, 2015 12:32 PM CST I'm Fine!
RainComeShine
RainComeShineRainComeShineDevon, England UK29 Threads 29 Polls 613 Posts
Obstinance_Works: Basically the chest pain problem shared with a man became a problem halved, the same problem shared with a woman became a problem doubled. When I tell a woman about a problem of this kind I often wish I'd never said anything and that's usually why I'll pretend to be fine.

Also, when I told women it was a strain their first instinct was annoyance at not telling them sooner about the pain. The men I hadn't told first instinct was relief at it not being more serious. Her instinctive response was to think of herself and her feelings, his first response was to think of me and my wellbeing. It makes one wonder which gender really is the more compassionate sex.
Jun 29, 2015 12:36 PM CST I'm Fine!
Obstinance_Works: This is contrast to the woman's "I'm fine" which is a poor lie that isn't supposed to be believed and is actually anything but protective and is instead a manipulative act of tacit aggression.


popcorn

Your assessment of 'I'm fine' seems fairly astute.. wink

What are your thoughts when a woman says 'you're fine'.. laugh

wine
Jun 29, 2015 12:43 PM CST I'm Fine!
RainComeShine
RainComeShineRainComeShineDevon, England UK29 Threads 29 Polls 613 Posts
I'm not sure that I agree with that in my case although, of course, you know your people well.

I've always found the men to be the worriers and the women to be more practical with constructive advice. I think you touched on that.

I think you like to protect your women from worry or are you actually worried that if you share it with them and it turns out not to be serious that they may think you wimpish.

I'm not suggesting that you are but I do feel that men are often too proud to tell women.

In my experience both genders can be caring or selfish in their reaction to bad news of this kind.

A bit of support can be helpful or a hindrance and will depend on who is the recipient of the news.
Aug 20, 2015 9:41 AM CST I'm Fine!
Benny2025
Benny2025Benny2025Somewhere in the US, Ohio USA80 Posts
women always say that, but they never mean it.

The 'I'm fine' is the equivalent of 'move out'
 
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