Thoughts anyone?....Trying to get a little feedback ( Archived) (17)

I Only Wish

The pressure is growing stronger,
the anger is lasting longer.
Waiting for somone to realize,
hoping for the dream to materialize.
Pursuing it feels right,
trying with all my might,
to get the dream in sight.

The emotions break me,
yet the goal still tempts me.
Again I try and over again,
and every time I feel the pain.
Sometimes the obvious is not so,
understanding must come to go,
waiting for someone to realize,...to know.


Sean J.G.T.

You can create a thread without a poll if you have nothing to poll, you know.

Thanx,I just realized what I did.This is the first time I ever tried to post anything, now I look like an idiot,,,Great Well I tried.

You don't look like an idiot!!! If you have only just done your first "thread", how are you to know?

If there is anything you are not clear on, just ask, okay?

You can only change yourself. Start with that...and everything else will fall into place.

The Buddha postulated three poisons that exacerbate the human condition. Greed, anger, and stupidity...

"You will not be punished for your anger, you will be punished BY your anger." Guatama Buddha.

At least you tried. We learn best from our mistakes. And you look like one of us!

It sounds to me like you've reached deep into your psyche and pulled out what I would call "Art". Art should be appreciated, and not criticized. If you have created this poem sincerely, criticism might seem to be a direct attack on you. Be careful what you ask for on a public forum...

In a nutshell, I would say that you address deep, emotional issues in a simple format. Not an easy combination to pull off, and to be taken seriously. I would suggest with this kind of work, you might look at some of Dickens' or Poe's works. These might give you the feel of an enigmatic script and allow you to express yourself in a more self-satisfactory tone. Overall, I liked it as a draft.

Thanks alot people,I was a little concerned about the thred mess-up.As far as my actuall post this is somthing I wrote when I was 13 years old,I was just I little unsure about posting my good stuff and it becoming the property of an internet company.As far as critsizim goes that what I was kind of looking for, you know,to put something out there and as far as constuctive critisizim that is more than welcome.I'm a realist so I know that not everybody is going to like everything and nothing anyone can say will ever harm me so I'm pretty safe from being offended.I was also hoping to find a few other poets or other people with similar interests to make friends with.If anyone wants to see some of my good stuff let me know what kind of poetry you like and I'll mail you something.

P.S. sorry about any bad spelling or grammer,,....that only happens when I type I think it's because I only use 2 fingers,lol

Sean