are people more selfish than they use to be. ( Archived) (30)

it is sad that people feel that way but unfortunately I think you are right. I still dont understand parrents who refuse to get involved with there childeren because they are too buisy doing there own thing.

If it makes you feel better, the parents of the Navy League cadets (age 9 to 11) are very involved with their children. They help fund raise, volunteer for camps, and always talk to me about how to help thier kids with their music lessons.

cool, I cant emagine not being involved with my kids and I know there are others like me in that way but there are also a lot who are willing to breed but not care for there kids. I know that happens but I will never understand it. My kids are my world. I would live and die for them as my parrents would for me and my brothers. That is the way I think things should be.

This is true while the kids I mentioned were cared for their parents, I can't say the same about the teenagers I taught. There were some real troubled teens and the parents were not there to help and support their kids. They just dumped them off with us instructors and I had more than one kid cry on my shoulder. Very sad to see that actually. Glad to hear you are active in your kid's lives.

That is interesting as many people have called me selfish eventhough I volunteer to teach kids music and help with the various chariites here in Calgary. Doesn't bother me though as I am happy being the person I am.

I work with children in need .
We see alot of children that have been adversly affected by divorce. Mothers give in to their child because they have no father present in their lives and feel that giving them everything they want is a way to placade them yet at schools and other activities other adults pay the price.

I am not saying all single moms are like that!! Because my children are my world.
But some people do not have the knowledge to know better. I have often said it is harder to adopt a dog from the SPCA then it is to have a child !!

My children knew when they walked in my door from their fathers that it was not tolerated. Their father lost interest in them for a while til they grew up til they were less work. My children knew the rules at my home and they knew they had unconditional love and will always have it but their behavior would not.
It took time and a great deal a patience but they know . I never put their father down in front of them and if I had a disagreement with some of the things he did I made sure to dicuss it away from the children. As I have said before i would rather suffer then my children

All I can tell ya is this: Where I live in the country farmers still finalize contracts with handshakes and many of us wouldn't survive without the help from our neighbors. So no not all of society is selfish. Not meaning to bloat but i just spent $200 on groceries for a new family that had just graduated high school and getting started on their own. Maybe some should look a little deeper.

First off, there will always be women who will want you to come over to help them. This is not new. Parents? Scout troop???? Lots of people work full time or second or third shift and cannot. Long gone are the days of Dads working and mothers staying home. Its either a 2 working family or a single parent family. I dont know about the pawning of kids though, maybe if some of those deadbeat fathers actually helped once in awhile???

Its not easy being a single parent. Children are pretty smart and they soon learn what are the limits in each house. As long as your consistant they will grow to be wonderful human beings and your right it takes patience and many years before u see the results.

I think today and as far back as the late 70's children have not been disciplined properly by either parent. We all want to give our children more than we had. But I had to earn what I wanted (not needed) but wanted. But this is a generalization. There are lots of children that grew up in single family homes that went to school full time, worked part time, volunteered part time and still had time to do 4 hrs of homework at night and still have a social life. I know, because these were my children. I and I alone raised my daughters from the ages of 4 and 2. They are very successful in all aspects of their lives. I was accused of being too strict. Gee, don't scream when you are playing. Bed time at 8:00pm. Pick up your feet when you walk. NO SHUFFLING!!!!! Do the dishes and put out the garbage. If you talk back to me "Go to your room". As long as they went to their rooms, I was happy. But I never, ever, hit them. They always had hugs and kisses. Always encouragement and praise. I didn't yell at them, oops, once I threw a paperback book at my youngest, I missed. So in that respect being a single parent was great, because they only had to follow my rules. And this scenario is still prevalent today. There are lots of great children out there because they had great parents.

I am a single father, I work 65 hours a week, I have a son and a doughter, I have been t-ball coach, cub master, girl scout leader, soccor dad, and now scoutmaster, I have some parrents of kids in my troop who are married, dad works at boing, mom stays at home, they go to the cacino twice a week but they dont have time to get involved and there son has to rely on fundraiing to go on outings because his parrents "cant afford it" They wont even drive him to and from the meetings, he has to get a ride from someone else. That is what Im talking about.

Oh an dads arnt the only ones who are deadbeats. I know of a lot of deadbeat moms out there.

I think people go through stages. the important thing is the stage your in when you decide that is the way you want to live. I know i was selfish in my earlier yrs, but i didn't see it. I am glad i have seen the light and have found that riches of the heart are more cherished for me than stuff i get or people i use. Thats not a very nice place to be. So if you are at one stage or the other just know that there are others out there like you and others out there who have changed. However, there are some people who have always been about the riches of the heart and well if you find one of those as your soulmate, you more than likely are one of them too. Myself i am hoping to find one who at least changed and is seeking riches of the heart

I know what you mean. My daughter is 14 and her friends like to hang out here because I'm more of a parent than they have at home. I discipline - and they all know that they have to follow my rules or they will not be allowed to hang out here. They seem to appreciate that I do have reasonable rules.Some of them like to just come and hang out with me and chat - whether my daughter is here or not. They know that they can talk to me about anything.

Honestly, this town seems to have the worst bunch of parents I've ever seen in my life. One man dropped his son off here one Saturday about 11am. At 10pm I had to tell the boy to call his dad to come pick him up. He told Collin to walk home - that he was in a business meeting. It was about 10 degrees F outside and he'd have to walk about 4 blocks and did not have his coat. I had to get on the phone and tell this a**hole to come pick up his son. It was obvious that he thought I would just take him home to avoid having to put my foot down. He smelled like a brewery when he got here. Some business meeting!

After that one, I got tired of parents pawning their kids off on me. I had to start putting my foot down. The kids are still welcome here, but I've drawn a line with the parents taking advantage of me.

Sorry... but WHEW... that felt good to vent.

You're right. Too many people are more concerned with money. I'm happy to say that my 14 year old is hoping that she's old enough to volunteer at the hospital or a nursing home. She also used to help out when my mom took her to work with her at a home for the mentally challenged. She was about 7 at the time. She loved it and was so good with the people that they cared for. (She plans to be a trauma surgeon. Needless to say, I think she'll be a great doctor. )