prenuptual agreement......how important in your next relationship (113)
Liebe2: Very, when you are planning to marry one that could easily be your daughter
well this is a good point tho. Were my spouse much younger I would want his interests protected as well as the interests of my children. So I think it's best to spell everything out
JAN_is: Very sensible, and after your story on another thread, your decision to do so has nothing whatsoever to do with lack of trust as others seem to think pre-nups boil down to.
It´s all well and good to say they shouldn´t be necessary if two people are in love, but it´s a sad fact of life that many relationships do not stand the test of time and end bitterly. Just look around yourselves here on CS!
I doubt whether I will marry again, so that will probably be a decision I never have to make, but I do think about my daughter and son who have their own houses, well paid jobs with guaranteed pensions etc etc. I wouldn´t like to see them lose any of those things they have worked so hard to get.
I suppose a lot does depend on the assets a person has.
It´s all well and good to say they shouldn´t be necessary if two people are in love, but it´s a sad fact of life that many relationships do not stand the test of time and end bitterly. Just look around yourselves here on CS!
I doubt whether I will marry again, so that will probably be a decision I never have to make, but I do think about my daughter and son who have their own houses, well paid jobs with guaranteed pensions etc etc. I wouldn´t like to see them lose any of those things they have worked so hard to get.
I suppose a lot does depend on the assets a person has.
Hi there.
I expect that many people on public forums more often will state that love is enough and why would any person want one if they trust each other. I trust her implicitely and I know she trusts me.
It has nothing ,as you rightly say, to do with trust. She is moving countries, with a child, giving up her job and her home. I suggested that we draw up an agreement, to reassure her that her home, her savings, her pensions would be safe should anything happen. That could mean, death, parting, any children we may have together and of course her son. She has worked too hard to lose any of that, and as she is doing all the moving, then of course she was concerned, concerns that she shared with me.
We have also made wills, with which the agreement is tied into. We are joining finances and as she is giving up her job, I will be supporting her and her son. If she wants to return to work at any time then she can.
This is something that we both looked at carefully and wisely and it in no way lessens what we have between us. WAe don't see it as a way of preventing the other from running off with our family silver, we see it as a way of protecting each other, what we have and the future of our children and our lives.
Nice to meet you Jan.
Jaywim: Hi there.
I expect that many people on public forums more often will state that love is enough and why would any person want one if they trust each other. I trust her implicitely and I know she trusts me.
It has nothing ,as you rightly say, to do with trust. She is moving countries, with a child, giving up her job and her home. I suggested that we draw up an agreement, to reassure her that her home, her savings, her pensions would be safe should anything happen. That could mean, death, parting, any children we may have together and of course her son. She has worked too hard to lose any of that, and as she is doing all the moving, then of course she was concerned, concerns that she shared with me.
We have also made wills, with which the agreement is tied into. We are joining finances and as she is giving up her job, I will be supporting her and her son. If she wants to return to work at any time then she can.
This is something that we both looked at carefully and wisely and it in no way lessens what we have between us. WAe don't see it as a way of preventing the other from running off with our family silver, we see it as a way of protecting each other, what we have and the future of our children and our lives.
Nice to meet you Jan.
I expect that many people on public forums more often will state that love is enough and why would any person want one if they trust each other. I trust her implicitely and I know she trusts me.
It has nothing ,as you rightly say, to do with trust. She is moving countries, with a child, giving up her job and her home. I suggested that we draw up an agreement, to reassure her that her home, her savings, her pensions would be safe should anything happen. That could mean, death, parting, any children we may have together and of course her son. She has worked too hard to lose any of that, and as she is doing all the moving, then of course she was concerned, concerns that she shared with me.
We have also made wills, with which the agreement is tied into. We are joining finances and as she is giving up her job, I will be supporting her and her son. If she wants to return to work at any time then she can.
This is something that we both looked at carefully and wisely and it in no way lessens what we have between us. WAe don't see it as a way of preventing the other from running off with our family silver, we see it as a way of protecting each other, what we have and the future of our children and our lives.
Nice to meet you Jan.
It sounds smart to me, irrespective of the age of either of you.
Jaywim: Hi there.
I expect that many people on public forums more often will state that love is enough and why would any person want one if they trust each other. I trust her implicitely and I know she trusts me.
It has nothing ,as you rightly say, to do with trust. She is moving countries, with a child, giving up her job and her home. I suggested that we draw up an agreement, to reassure her that her home, her savings, her pensions would be safe should anything happen. That could mean, death, parting, any children we may have together and of course her son. She has worked too hard to lose any of that, and as she is doing all the moving, then of course she was concerned, concerns that she shared with me.
We have also made wills, with which the agreement is tied into. We are joining finances and as she is giving up her job, I will be supporting her and her son. If she wants to return to work at any time then she can.
This is something that we both looked at carefully and wisely and it in no way lessens what we have between us. WAe don't see it as a way of preventing the other from running off with our family silver, we see it as a way of protecting each other, what we have and the future of our children and our lives.
Nice to meet you Jan.
I expect that many people on public forums more often will state that love is enough and why would any person want one if they trust each other. I trust her implicitely and I know she trusts me.
It has nothing ,as you rightly say, to do with trust. She is moving countries, with a child, giving up her job and her home. I suggested that we draw up an agreement, to reassure her that her home, her savings, her pensions would be safe should anything happen. That could mean, death, parting, any children we may have together and of course her son. She has worked too hard to lose any of that, and as she is doing all the moving, then of course she was concerned, concerns that she shared with me.
We have also made wills, with which the agreement is tied into. We are joining finances and as she is giving up her job, I will be supporting her and her son. If she wants to return to work at any time then she can.
This is something that we both looked at carefully and wisely and it in no way lessens what we have between us. WAe don't see it as a way of preventing the other from running off with our family silver, we see it as a way of protecting each other, what we have and the future of our children and our lives.
Nice to meet you Jan.
VERY GOOD EXAMPLE
I’d say it’s a very smart move and especially if you’re going into a marriage with a lot of assets. Nothing stops anyone from changing it or making up a Will later on during the relationship. If two people trust each other why would one refuse a prenupt?
Onlyguy: I’d say it’s a very smart move and especially if you’re going into a marriage with a lot of assets. Nothing stops anyone from changing it or making up a Will later on during the relationship. If two people trust each other why would one refuse a prenupt?
excellent move in logic...i would say
Isn't a prenuptual agreement a legal contract that You sign to say that the legal contract that You are about to enter could bocome worthless at any time..?!?
I think I'd have to sign a pre-prenuptual agreement...
Really though, if You can't stick to the contract don't sign it!!
I think I'd have to sign a pre-prenuptual agreement...
Really though, if You can't stick to the contract don't sign it!!
l0tim0l: Isn't a prenuptual agreement a legal contract that You sign to say that the legal contract that You are about to enter could bocome worthless at any time..?!?
I think I'd have to sign a pre-prenuptual agreement...
Really though, if You can't stick to the contract don't sign it!!
I think I'd have to sign a pre-prenuptual agreement...
Really though, if You can't stick to the contract don't sign it!!
hahahahaha
very good.....but i think it rather means.....
by entering this agreement... you do not get to walk away with half of what i own ...at any time you like ....only half of what we have earned and accumulated together...
l0tim0l: Isn't a prenuptual agreement a legal contract that You sign to say that the legal contract that You are about to enter could bocome worthless at any time..?!?
I think I'd have to sign a pre-prenuptual agreement...
Really though, if You can't stick to the contract don't sign it!!
I think I'd have to sign a pre-prenuptual agreement...
Really though, if You can't stick to the contract don't sign it!!
Nuptial comes from the Latin nuptialis and means marriage, so a pre-nup is a contract entered into by the prospective bride and groom protecting their assets should the marriage fail. Actually a pre-nup can be signed nowadays by any couple who intend to live together without taking wedding vows.
dadvic: hahahahaha
very good.....but i think it rather means.....
by entering this agreement... you do not get to walk away with half of what i own ...at any time you like ....only half of what we have earned and accumulated together...
very good.....but i think it rather means.....
by entering this agreement... you do not get to walk away with half of what i own ...at any time you like ....only half of what we have earned and accumulated together...
Interesting.
Ours says nothing of the sort. About walking away with anything.
Our states that we came into the partnership with, we leave with. in the event of the relationship ending. Anything accumulated during the partnership will be split equally. Nowhere does it mention what cannot happen. Only what will happen.
Jaywim: Interesting.
Ours says nothing of the sort. About walking away with anything.
Our states that we came into the partnership with, we leave with. in the event of the relationship ending. Anything accumulated during the partnership will be split equally. Nowhere does it mention what cannot happen. Only what will happen.
Ours says nothing of the sort. About walking away with anything.
Our states that we came into the partnership with, we leave with. in the event of the relationship ending. Anything accumulated during the partnership will be split equally. Nowhere does it mention what cannot happen. Only what will happen.
i understand.....yes well said...
dadvic: i understand.....yes well said...
We have not entered a 'Pre-Nup' agreement. It is simply a statement of assets, what happens and money each of us has, including pensions.
It can be amended at any time, should the cicumstances change. If we have a child and I am rather hoping we do, then the initial agreement will not change, that still remains, only our wills will change because there are more people to leave assets to.
Good luck though with your agreement and all the best for your future.
dadvic: you bring up the next big question...is marriage even a valid institution??
Meh. Marriage goes against my personal beliefs.. And if I did ever change my idea get married, it wouldn't be for a very very long time.
I'm too young to really know what I want. And I'd probably regret tying myself down to someone right now.
I need to grow out of the stage where I think of marriage as a pretty dress and a big white wedding, and realize it's really a lifelong commitment before I'd be ready to make that kind of decision.
dadvic: why...i am just being realistic......when 50% of all marriages in the west are over in three years..(average)...why leave myself open to the obvious??
i just love to see all this ..DEVIL MAY CARE ATTITUDE TOWARD THE MATERIAL....
and the idealism towards romance...hahahaha...such pride to be so in love that trust is a given and money does not matter...only those who are warm and full can boast such values
in the real world...things change....and we need to consider our position....
it is too easy for a woman to marry ...and then to file for divorce ...and get a real big pay check....like she earned it
...hahahahaha
like mark...married 4 months...and then she filed!!
so in love,,,they were....now ..she gets a pay check ...for what?
I dont know or care about other people and why they want a prenup..i just love to see all this ..DEVIL MAY CARE ATTITUDE TOWARD THE MATERIAL....
and the idealism towards romance...hahahaha...such pride to be so in love that trust is a given and money does not matter...only those who are warm and full can boast such values
in the real world...things change....and we need to consider our position....
it is too easy for a woman to marry ...and then to file for divorce ...and get a real big pay check....like she earned it
...hahahahaha
like mark...married 4 months...and then she filed!!
so in love,,,they were....now ..she gets a pay check ...for what?
I trust him and he trusts me..
MATERIAL THINGS MEAN NOTHING TO ME
As the lady said here we came into this world with nothing and we all will leave this world with nothing..
Have a great evening
bakesaurus: Meh. Marriage goes against my personal beliefs.. And if I did ever change my idea get married, it wouldn't be for a very very long time.
I'm too young to really know what I want. And I'd probably regret tying myself down to someone right now.
I need to grow out of the stage where I think of marriage as a pretty dress and a big white wedding, and realize it's really a lifelong commitment before I'd be ready to make that kind of decision.
I'm too young to really know what I want. And I'd probably regret tying myself down to someone right now.
I need to grow out of the stage where I think of marriage as a pretty dress and a big white wedding, and realize it's really a lifelong commitment before I'd be ready to make that kind of decision.
Wise words bake
bakesaurus: Meh. Marriage goes against my personal beliefs.. And if I did ever change my idea get married, it wouldn't be for a very very long time.
I'm too young to really know what I want. And I'd probably regret tying myself down to someone right now.
I need to grow out of the stage where I think of marriage as a pretty dress and a big white wedding, and realize it's really a lifelong commitment before I'd be ready to make that kind of decision.
I'm too young to really know what I want. And I'd probably regret tying myself down to someone right now.
I need to grow out of the stage where I think of marriage as a pretty dress and a big white wedding, and realize it's really a lifelong commitment before I'd be ready to make that kind of decision.
i thank you for your honesty ..
kissmedeeply: I dont know or care about other people and why they want a prenup..
I trust him and he trusts me..
MATERIAL THINGS MEAN NOTHING TO ME
As the lady said here we came into this world with nothing and we all will leave this world with nothing..
Have a great evening
I trust him and he trusts me..
MATERIAL THINGS MEAN NOTHING TO ME
As the lady said here we came into this world with nothing and we all will leave this world with nothing..
Have a great evening
thanks kissmedeeply.....when i was a hippy we had the same attitude...hahahaha
but this is the real world...and everyone is playing for all the marbles....and after the fact..people in the west like to enforce their rights....just look around!
i see your happy in a relationship of trust ...and your property that you have worked hard to earn is meaningless to you ...
you say "I dont know or care about other people"....
i hope you are not condescending towards those who find it necessary to consider such things....or do you feel superior to them ....since you have no care about others or things...???
bakesaurus: Meh. Marriage goes against my personal beliefs.. And if I did ever change my idea get married, it wouldn't be for a very very long time.
I'm too young to really know what I want. And I'd probably regret tying myself down to someone right now.
I need to grow out of the stage where I think of marriage as a pretty dress and a big white wedding, and realize it's really a lifelong commitment before I'd be ready to make that kind of decision.
I'm too young to really know what I want. And I'd probably regret tying myself down to someone right now.
I need to grow out of the stage where I think of marriage as a pretty dress and a big white wedding, and realize it's really a lifelong commitment before I'd be ready to make that kind of decision.
I'm not entirely sold on it as an institution myself - having tried it for 17 yrs wiht mixed - at best - results....
not sure I'd do it again - which is why I have dating and LTR on my profile.
but I do think that prenups can be very useful when the lovegoes
or if one partner has children from a previous.....and kicks the bucket....
i think trust is a key part of any relationship,with out it wouldn't work.If i every get married again its going to be for life.So no its not important to me,im not marrying for money,i will be marrying for love.
felixis99: I'm not entirely sold on it as an institution myself - having tried it for 17 yrs wiht mixed - at best - results....not sure I'd do it again - which is why I have dating and LTR on my profile. but I do think that prenups can be very useful when the lovegoes or if one partner has children from a previous.....and kicks the bucket....
THANKS FOR YOUR INSIGHT
demonfairy: i think trust is a key part of any relationship,with out it wouldn't work.If i every get married again its going to be for life.So no its not important to me,im not marrying for money,i will be marrying for love.
I WAS MARRIED 27 YEARS ...AND I EARNED THE MONEY ...SO SHE COULD STAY HOME WITH THE KIDS... AND LET ME KNOW I WAS NOT A PRIORITY IN HER LIFE..
and i thought it was for life...tooo
this is not about trust.....
kissmedeeply: Yup but i know by experience with erics heart he would let me have the world..
Hhahaha but we wont find that out will we...
For me even if something happen and i got married again i still would feel the same about prenups...
dont agree with them at all
If you dont trust the person and have to think of having one then i wouldnt marry him..
Hhahaha but we wont find that out will we...
For me even if something happen and i got married again i still would feel the same about prenups...
dont agree with them at all
If you dont trust the person and have to think of having one then i wouldnt marry him..
Exactly. If you have any doubts about a person, you shouldn't marry them. (Hi, J!) Ambrose2007: Exactly. If you have any doubts about a person, you shouldn't marry them. (Hi, J!)
Having doubt or having no doubts isn't the question. Protecting your children's future is what makes the differnce to me.
Big_John: Having doubt or having no doubts isn't the question. Protecting your children's future is what makes the differnce to me.
Well, that's a good point, John. I think you're saying that if you died, you'd want to make sure your children would get their fair share of your estate.
But...maybe I'm not interpreting you correctly, because you could cover that easily enough with a will; perhaps your concern is that should you and your wife depart company, then you would want to protect your assets for your childrens' sake, but that would surely imply that you had some doubts about your proposed union, no?
Would you mind clarifying?
Ambrose2007: Well, that's a good point, John. I think you're saying that if you died, you'd want to make sure your children would get their fair share of your estate.
But...maybe I'm not interpreting you correctly, because you could cover that easily enough with a will; perhaps your concern is that should you and your wife depart company, then you would want to protect your assets for your childrens' sake, but that would surely imply that you had some doubts about your proposed union, no?
Would you mind clarifying?
But...maybe I'm not interpreting you correctly, because you could cover that easily enough with a will; perhaps your concern is that should you and your wife depart company, then you would want to protect your assets for your childrens' sake, but that would surely imply that you had some doubts about your proposed union, no?
Would you mind clarifying?
Wills have limited ability to protect your assets when you are married. Many states have established guidelines that require the majority portion of your estate to go you your wife. I don't mind ensuring that my future wife gets 'something', but I also want to ensure my son gets what I want him to acquire.
Like I stated that has nothing to do with how I feel about the person I plan to marry, live with and hopefully died alone side many years from now.
Prenups are an important part of a sound etate plan.
dadvic: i am in a relationship and my girlfriend and i have talked about it....and she seems to be alright with a prenup...what do you have to say about that in your life and future?
If it were important to him then yes I would sign a prenup as long as it was a fair agreement. I think trusting someone is not the question..because we all trust the ones we love at the beginning..it's when that love turns to anger and revenge that you need the prenup.From what I've heard, pre-nups can easily be broken.
Ambrose2007: Exactly. If you have any doubts about a person, you shouldn't marry them. (Hi, J!)
as john says ...its not about trust.....
it seems the naysayers are just looking at it as a lack of trust.
like they have transcended.....to a more mature place..hahaha
when i had nothing ...i did not think about it....but i have 4 kids from a previous marriage ... and some assets
and my new girlfriend made commitments to love me and care for me to the last breath..
which should be rewarded if kept....
and unrewarded if not kept.....
...right??
or should i just trust ???
dadvic: as john says ...its not about trust.....
it seems the naysayers are just looking at it as a lack of trust.
like they have transcended.....to a more mature place..hahaha
when i had nothing ...i did not think about it....but i have 4 kids from a previous marriage ... and some assets
and my new girlfriend made commitments to love me and care for me to the last breath..
which should be rewarded if kept....
and unrewarded if not kept.....
...right??
or should i just trust ???
it seems the naysayers are just looking at it as a lack of trust.
like they have transcended.....to a more mature place..hahaha
when i had nothing ...i did not think about it....but i have 4 kids from a previous marriage ... and some assets
and my new girlfriend made commitments to love me and care for me to the last breath..
which should be rewarded if kept....
and unrewarded if not kept.....
...right??
or should i just trust ???
Well, at the rate you go through girlfriends, I'd suggest that you get a pre-nup or the next time you might not be able to afford to have a new girlfriend.
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well....sharks in the water!!!
i guess i have been to idealistic....and to romantic in the past.