Why do men seam to have a dim view of women that already have children ? (149)
magsx: I hear you!! Getting a babysitter for a 20 year old is nigh on impossible.........
Good post though!
Good post though!
while I don;t think anyone wants to eliminate my sons from the pride, you will have to behave and treat me good....they're good boys (young men) but would never put up with anyone mistreating me -
seriously, at the same time I am mature enough to keep my dating life separate from my sons until there is a reason to meld them
I agree, though, that for a single person, man or woman, who is childless or (like me) whose kids are older, there is going to be a tug of war about how you spend ur time when u have young kids and ur partner doesn't. Some are williing to work through that - some not
I knew a young man who was interested in me, but it would have never worked because he had something going on with his kids from a previous marriage almost every night. just no. He was not ready for the commitment to a new love partner.
shameg: Of course children come first no matter what
I have read this in many many threads and it always bothered me a bit......I don't think that childern should come first ...ALL THE TIME
Nor should the spouse.....
Some times children's needs should in fact come first...but not always in my opinion....
Some allow their children to "rule" the house, so I say a healthy balance is the key...
davpk10: I have read this in many many threads and it always bothered me a bit......
I don't think that childern should come first ...ALL THE TIME
Nor should the spouse.....Some times children's needs should in fact come first...but not always in my opinion.... Some allow their children to "rule" the house, so I say a healthy balance is the key...
I agree. It's hard for recently divorced parents - it's a confusing time of lifeI don't think that childern should come first ...ALL THE TIME
Nor should the spouse.....Some times children's needs should in fact come first...but not always in my opinion.... Some allow their children to "rule" the house, so I say a healthy balance is the key...
I always say my kids NEEDS always come first, that does not mean they rule the house or small sackrifices cant be made for a relationship but if the kid has a Dr appointment, a baseball game, or maybe a teacher confrance, that is where I will be.
the equal rules are come from two person call parents, or adult people who have their comitment to be togehter to look after kids, to raise them and to make them like parent wants or atleast to make them as a responsible adult people later on.
So the meaning kids came first, do not mean kids rules the house. we (the parents) rules them still.
Talk about gender equality, man and women are same, with different task and responsibility. may be i am wrong, please correct me.
So the meaning kids came first, do not mean kids rules the house. we (the parents) rules them still.
Talk about gender equality, man and women are same, with different task and responsibility. may be i am wrong, please correct me.
stareyes: the equal rules are come from two person call parents, or adult people who have their comitment to be togehter to look after kids, to raise them and to make them like parent wants or atleast to make them as a responsible adult people later on.
So the meaning kids came first, do not mean kids rules the house. we (the parents) rules them still.
Talk about gender equality, man and women are same, with different task and responsibility. may be i am wrong, please correct me.
So the meaning kids came first, do not mean kids rules the house. we (the parents) rules them still.
Talk about gender equality, man and women are same, with different task and responsibility. may be i am wrong, please correct me.
of course u are not wrong. it is your opinion, there really is no right or wromg answer - and I agree it is important to make the distinction between doing what is best for children as a family unit - as parents, and the effort to develop a dating or love relationship with a childless person when u have young kids and they don;t.
At some point the parents have to take back an adult social life of their own that does not involve their kids. jmho
it just depends on what u consider acceptable - for you - there is no right or wrong answer
Amity:
I just cannot be arsed quite honestly.
I just cannot be arsed quite honestly.
Clearly. Read felixs post below, she did your thinking for you.
And no, it's not always easy to get a babysitter at the drop of a hat, especially if it's something spontaneous... you have to plan ahead at almost all times. But i'm sure you know that.
felixis99: while I don;t think anyone wants to eliminate my sons from the pride, you will have to behave and treat me good....they're good boys (young men) but would never put up with anyone mistreating me -
seriously, at the same time I am mature enough to keep my dating life separate from my sons until there is a reason to meld them
I agree, though, that for a single person, man or woman, who is childless or (like me) whose kids are older, there is going to be a tug of war about how you spend ur time when u have young kids and ur partner doesn't. Some are williing to work through that - some not
I knew a young man who was interested in me, but it would have never worked because he had something going on with his kids from a previous marriage almost every night. just no. He was not ready for the commitment to a new love partner.
seriously, at the same time I am mature enough to keep my dating life separate from my sons until there is a reason to meld them
I agree, though, that for a single person, man or woman, who is childless or (like me) whose kids are older, there is going to be a tug of war about how you spend ur time when u have young kids and ur partner doesn't. Some are williing to work through that - some not
I knew a young man who was interested in me, but it would have never worked because he had something going on with his kids from a previous marriage almost every night. just no. He was not ready for the commitment to a new love partner.
Ahh felix thanks for actually seeing beyond the word "lion".
Thank felixis99...
i open my minds. cool reply from you.... 
i open my minds. cool reply from you....
bitte
I really fail to see why people get so wrapped up with this as an issue
it's really pretty much a matter of personal preference
I'd date a guy with kids as long as he had some way to have enuff quality alone time w/ me
and he would deserve the same from me 
I really fail to see why people get so wrapped up with this as an issue
it's really pretty much a matter of personal preference
I'd date a guy with kids as long as he had some way to have enuff quality alone time w/ me
and he would deserve the same from me
Men having dim view of women with children are inmature and insecure, not able to appreciate beautiful gifts of God.
EnglishInZurich: Clearly. Read felixs post below, she did your thinking for you.
And no, it's not always easy to get a babysitter at the drop of a hat, especially if it's something spontaneous... you have to plan ahead at almost all times. But i'm sure you know that.
Ahh felix thanks for actually seeing beyond the word "lion".
And no, it's not always easy to get a babysitter at the drop of a hat, especially if it's something spontaneous... you have to plan ahead at almost all times. But i'm sure you know that.
Ahh felix thanks for actually seeing beyond the word "lion".
Thanks for your sarcastic comment..i can do my own thinking thankyou.
Please dont address me again
mjames: lol; look at the threads; this is just one; I've commented on 4 of these questions in the last week; give me a break.
what? was i talking to you then? someone needs to re-check..and to be honest your view on single parents leaves a lot to be desired thats why i avoid your posts at all costs!!
People react in selfish ways though.
Kids should never be an issue should they lets face it. If you fall in love and you are a proper bloody bloke you would want to look after her and her children as you love her. If its a pillock after a quick poke then your better off without em.
It does flip both ways there are women that wont entertain guys because they have kids as they want there own the same as it is for guys.
To be blunt stuff em there not right for you simple as that your much better than them so let em get on with it and you will meet the right guy that encompasses your whole family.
Its no different for me though in my circumstance. I get rejected by certain lasses as I use a wheelchair out of the house simply for that instant knoweldge. I dont blame anyone for it though and ask why its there loss as I know Im a great guy and I get out of the thing.
Dates have told me that its never an issue last thing they care about.
Never doubt yourself and your family for who you are because someone isnt intrested
Kids should never be an issue should they lets face it. If you fall in love and you are a proper bloody bloke you would want to look after her and her children as you love her. If its a pillock after a quick poke then your better off without em.
It does flip both ways there are women that wont entertain guys because they have kids as they want there own the same as it is for guys.
To be blunt stuff em there not right for you simple as that your much better than them so let em get on with it and you will meet the right guy that encompasses your whole family.
Its no different for me though in my circumstance. I get rejected by certain lasses as I use a wheelchair out of the house simply for that instant knoweldge. I dont blame anyone for it though and ask why its there loss as I know Im a great guy and I get out of the thing.
Dates have told me that its never an issue last thing they care about.
Never doubt yourself and your family for who you are because someone isnt intrested
leostartingover: Well that's your choice Jac, but I think to make any relationship work, there needs to be some compromise. I have children too, but I also have a life. Sometimes they come first, and other times I do. If I ALWAYS put them first, I would be a miserable and secretly resentful mother. If I were in a serious relationship, it would be unfair to expect my partner to accept being last on the totem pole. I would try to find a balance as best I could, and I would expect him to as well if he had children. It has to be give and take, or it wouldn't work... I saw a very nice divorced guy a couple of times whose wife had left him 2 years previously for another man. He had 5 children, 2 of which had left home; the three at home were aged 18 and twins of 21. He kept saying he wanted to ask me out to dinner, but it never happened because he was constantly running around after his kids. I admire a devoted dad, but it was clear that I would be at the very bottom of his priority list; and that simply doesn't work for me!
I'm not quite that harsh, Leo.
I meant I would never neglect my daughter, be far away from her, or get rid of my dogs. I've just had a few contacts that seem to think I might drop everything and become an extension of their life.
Nadgers to that.
Jac xxx
gussi: sounds good, pedigree pal with biscuits, when can i move into my kennel.
bring me own dishes as well
shameg: Why do men seam to have a dim view of women that already have children ?
Because they're dim.
Ocee35: Because they're dim.
yup, the men are dim
Amity: Thanks for your sarcastic comment..i can do my own thinking thankyou.
Please dont address me again
Please dont address me again
Don't respond to my posts and rubbish them without clearly thinking things through and I will promptly not rreply to them forget you, problem solved. :)
Amity: Thanks for your sarcastic comment..i can do my own thinking thankyou.
Please dont address me again
Please dont address me again
Don't respond to my posts and rubbish them without clearly thinking things through and I will promptly not rreply to them forget you, problem solved. :)
there are many different reasons from practical, emotive to psychological, and also depends on the man's status. For a start raising a family is not high on a guy's list when considering a new mate. A man needs time to get to that; going for one with kids is like jumping in at the deep end. Also for a man, raising another guy's kids injures his manhood pride, esp. if he cant reinforce the relationship with his own. Also men who've had kids, know they'll be 2nd best after the kids so it will be like skipping the honeymoon phase and going straight to the hard part...
EnglishInZurich: Don't respond to my posts and rubbish them without clearly thinking things through and I will promptly not rreply to them forget you, problem solved. :)
ooh shhhhhh up moaning.Its a saturday and im not up for whinging
felixis99: abd therein lies the crux of the issue
some men (and women) want to be first in their partners lives. So they seek a partner who is able to put them first - at least those of us who know we need that in a relationship DO realize that so we aren't constantly dating people who we aren't compatible with...
afterall we are all entitled to our personal preferences
. some men (and women) want to be first in their partners lives. So they seek a partner who is able to put them first - at least those of us who know we need that in a relationship DO realize that so we aren't constantly dating people who we aren't compatible with...
afterall we are all entitled to our personal preferences
Yes, thank you.
I don't date men with children. I would ratherbe alone than be in a such a relationship.
I don't have any children and I am not ready for anyone's children. I have done it 2 times before and it was hell, hell, hell so I won't do it again.
Most men with children say "my children come first", well all well and good but there has to be a middle ground because I aint playing second fiddle to anyone. It won't work if you have to put your children first ALL the time.
leostartingover: Well that's your choice Jac, but I think to make any relationship work, there needs to be some compromise. I have children too, but I also have a life. Sometimes they come first, and other times I do. If I ALWAYS put them first, I would be a miserable and secretly resentful mother. If I were in a serious relationship, it would be unfair to expect my partner to accept being last on the totem pole. I would try to find a balance as best I could, and I would expect him to as well if he had children. It has to be give and take, or it wouldn't work... I saw a very nice divorced guy a couple of times whose wife had left him 2 years previously for another man. He had 5 children, 2 of which had left home; the three at home were aged 18 and twins of 21. He kept saying he wanted to ask me out to dinner, but it never happened because he was constantly running around after his kids. I admire a devoted dad, but it was clear that I would be at the very bottom of his priority list; and that simply doesn't work for me!
Thank you, very well put.
I don't have children and will not accept to placed at the bottom of the totem pole or priority list ALL the time.
shameg: I have noticed some comments when i have received mail regarding me being a single parent.
Personally I think it's normal to ask you about your child.
She's an integral part of your life and asking about her is a way of acknowledging that fact. And yes, it is totally normal that the man consider her presence. Children are a big responsibility and your child will have a major impact on the guy's life.
It's normal and good that he reflect deeply on the decision and not jump into it lightly. If he doesn't want to be a father right off the bat, it's better for you and your daughter that he doesn't even try.
Personally, I think a father who has lost his own children to a divorce is the best bet for you. He knows what he's getting into and has experience. He's not going to be surprised by the responsibility.
do you know who gives a f@#%$^&ck what they think i am a single dad and my kids are it i dont care what or who happens my kids are my life if they dont like it you know where they can go
I love children. yea especially with mayonaize but if not available i'll settle for katchup but pepper is a must.
shameg: I have noticed some comments when i have received mail regarding me being a single parent.
So what do you do apart from child rearing ?
How old were you when you had your daughter ?
So do you work ?
this puts me straight off someone. Can someone give me an insight of such negativity towards single parents ?
I personally never attracted any negative energy. I have four children never married. All my children are doing really well one in college straight A's in, sports, polite, talented. etc. Any one who would or is is going to bring any negativity toward any woman for any reason especially questioning your mother hood. Remember what others think of you is none of your buisness. I am sure deep down inside if you cold choose again . Would we not choose being a mom over all the jobs we could have. Maybe not everyone would . I love my kids and I know I have learned , experienced and grown so much from having children so much plus brought up well adjusted fantastic talented kids who are smart loving and exceptional in many areas. Be your authentic self. Do not get bumed if you meet or talk t someone who isn't that bright. they just do not any better. Turn a negative into a positive. Be proud and I know you afe beautiful. Have a great day,So what do you do apart from child rearing ?
How old were you when you had your daughter ?
So do you work ?
this puts me straight off someone. Can someone give me an insight of such negativity towards single parents ?
heatherhuntsman: I personally never attracted any negative energy. I have four children never married. All my children are doing really well one in college straight A's in, sports, polite, talented. etc. Any one who would or is is going to bring any negativity toward any woman for any reason especially questioning your mother hood. Remember what others think of you is none of your buisness. I am sure deep down inside if you cold choose again . Would we not choose being a mom over all the jobs we could have. Maybe not everyone would . I love my kids and I know I have learned , experienced and grown so much from having children so much plus brought up well adjusted fantastic talented kids who are smart loving and exceptional in many areas. Be your authentic self. Do not get bumed if you meet or talk t someone who isn't that bright. they just do not any better. Turn a negative into a positive. Be proud and I know you afe beautiful. Have a great day,
Sorry for the typos
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abd therein lies the crux of the issue
some men (and women) want to be first in their partners lives. So they seek a partner who is able to put them first - at least those of us who know we need that in a relationship DO realize that so we aren't constantly dating people who we aren't compatible with...
afterall we are all entitled to our personal preferences