Marriage or Live Togather? and Why (203)
Swissblueeyesa lake, Michigan USA13 Threads 3,371 PostsHotrodLarrys: Viewpoints?
i have never lived outside of marriage with a man..i got married because i dont think my parents and grand parents would have approved of me living with a man if i wasnt married to him.Ambrose2007: While a government certification (AKA marriage license) doesn't demonstrate the soundness of a romantic relationship, it does, in principle, symbolize a more serious commitment. Saying that you prefer dating or living together is equivalent, in my view, to saying that you prefer a half-assed, non-committal kind of relationship. It seems reasonable that as with most things you get out what you've invested in something, and therefore, if you start with a half-assed commitment your investment is minimal. and so, most likely, will be your returns.
Ambrose2007: While a government certification (AKA marriage license) doesn't demonstrate the soundness of a romantic relationship, it does, in principle, symbolize a more serious commitment. Saying that you prefer dating or living together is equivalent, in my view, to saying that you prefer a half-assed, non-committal kind of relationship. It seems reasonable that as with most things you get out what you've invested in something, and therefore, if you start with a half-assed commitment your investment is minimal. and so, most likely, will be your returns.
Of course.....after the typical 4 year period when both partners completely discard the marriage as irreconcilable ......the legitimacy of a marriage license seems worthless.
Committment is something that only true desire and work towards a relationship can provide - not a promise.........
jvaski: Of course.....after the typical 4 year period when both partners completely discard the marriage as irreconcilable ......the legitimacy of a marriage license seems worthless.
Committment is something that only true desire and work towards a relationship can provide - not a promise.........
Committment is something that only true desire and work towards a relationship can provide - not a promise.........
Agree with both You and Ambrose,
Marrige can be very rewarding, on ambroses behalf,
Tho with Yopu jvaski, You cant just sign and go either
Well ya can, but it didnt work when i tried it after only 6 months togather, It was short lived, and the REAL PERSON, stepped out AFTER 6 months
So YES It Takes time to get to really know someone, and that is hard to do online...and by typing your fingers to the bone...
EagleWoman: My choice is not on there...
We each have our own place...
We don't live too far from one another...
We float from one place to the other some of the time...
We each do our own thing some of the time...
We are faithful and support each other because we love one another very much whist being conscious, accepting and respecting our own individual needs.
We each have our own place...
We don't live too far from one another...
We float from one place to the other some of the time...
We each do our own thing some of the time...
We are faithful and support each other because we love one another very much whist being conscious, accepting and respecting our own individual needs.
if you want children yes they need a mom and dad. if no children why bother. be together and keep each other on their toes
Ambrose2007: While a government certification (AKA marriage license) doesn't demonstrate the soundness of a romantic relationship, it does, in principle, symbolize a more serious commitment. Saying that you prefer dating or living together is equivalent, in my view, to saying that you prefer a half-assed, non-committal kind of relationship. It seems reasonable that as with most things you get out what you've invested in something, and therefore, if you start with a half-assed commitment your investment is minimal. and so, most likely, will be your returns.
True, and what's sad is seeing how many can only foresee a doomed relationship for their future when that doesn't have to be the case. How much time and energy have we invested into ourselves beforehand to prepare ourselves for relationships/marriage? A marriage license or a ring doesn't suddenly give one the wealth of wisdom or equip us to be that wonderful wife or husband. To listen and learn from others, and have honest assessments from them as to whether we've chosen a potentially good person would be wise as well.
Swissblueeyes: i have never lived outside of marriage with a man..i got married because i dont think my parents and grand parents would have approved of me living with a man if i wasnt married to him.
I guess I learned that we cant please everyone, so we have to please ourselves,
living to others expectations, many times takes us to wrong decisions...and then WE have to be accountable, tho I absolutely HEARD what my Parents said, But I had to be the one to Choose
( Now they are both deceased Sadly),
and I look back and see they have made as many mistakes as I have....if not more...
Many thing thay taught me was just traditional things, passed down, They did their best, and it still failed...
Now I can only look to my own intuition, as I have to walk the path I make,( NOT THEM)
so Are your decisions based on pleasing Others, Or Making You own decisions, for what is Best for You? As i must do?
and yes I believe in Love and Marriage, but I cannot do it under another Authority....
and Yes I have Choices to make, and NO, I DONT have all the answers, but actually looking for some!
I did try the hurry up and get married thing, as it seemed the right thing to do...
tho it wasnt a good decision.....
Only time spent togather can give us our answer...
stepstone: smartest reply i have heard all day
which u didn't mentionviva007: which u didn't mention
Viva he's just new and still needs to learn to hit the "quote" button.So if you are not married they are not your children?
dawndeb: if you want children yes they need a mom and dad. if no children why bother. be together and keep each other on their toes
langleygirl: Viva he's just new and still needs to learn to hit the "quote" button.
ok then welcome Stepstone
langleygirl: True, and what's sad is seeing how many can only foresee a doomed relationship for their future when that doesn't have to be the case.
How much time and energy have we invested into ourselves beforehand to prepare ourselves for relationships/marriage? A marriage license or a ring doesn't suddenly give one the wealth of wisdom or equip us to be that wonderful wife or husband. To listen and learn from others, and have honest assessments from them as to whether we've chosen a potentially good person would be wise as well.
How much time and energy have we invested into ourselves beforehand to prepare ourselves for relationships/marriage? A marriage license or a ring doesn't suddenly give one the wealth of wisdom or equip us to be that wonderful wife or husband. To listen and learn from others, and have honest assessments from them as to whether we've chosen a potentially good person would be wise as well.
So True, We need to be Evaluating SELF, as we have SINGLE TIME, and make ourselves and our Values, Solid from within, and weed out the old garden, and prepare the soild, before we plant a new one!
This is a very Important thing we must do when we are Single again, Jumping in and planting on the weeds dont work well,
It DOES Begin with Self Examination, and Preperation...
And BOTH need to do this, (not just one)Nice post
tho listening to others CAN be beneficial, But Not PROOF of happiness, as they dont know this person near as well as YOU Should...
Johnwain: None of the two , each has its own place not too fare away from each other and that's it
So Very true, this has been the biggest Factor in Relationships, and life in general, Many are QUITTERS, and if you end up with a QUITTER, Right, They Quit!
Many talk, but not many walk their talk...
so finding SOLID people, with Solid Motive, takes much time...
so next, I had to learn Patients!
And self control!
langleygirl: True, and what's sad is seeing how many can only foresee a doomed relationship for their future when that doesn't have to be the case.
How much time and energy have we invested into ourselves beforehand to prepare ourselves for relationships/marriage? A marriage license or a ring doesn't suddenly give one the wealth of wisdom or equip us to be that wonderful wife or husband. To listen and learn from others, and have honest assessments from them as to whether we've chosen a potentially good person would be wise as well.
How much time and energy have we invested into ourselves beforehand to prepare ourselves for relationships/marriage? A marriage license or a ring doesn't suddenly give one the wealth of wisdom or equip us to be that wonderful wife or husband. To listen and learn from others, and have honest assessments from them as to whether we've chosen a potentially good person would be wise as well.
Very nicely said, Langley.
langleygirl: True, and what's sad is seeing how many can only foresee a doomed relationship for their future when that doesn't have to be the case.
How much time and energy have we invested into ourselves beforehand to prepare ourselves for relationships/marriage? A marriage license or a ring doesn't suddenly give one the wealth of wisdom or equip us to be that wonderful wife or husband. To listen and learn from others, and have honest assessments from them as to whether we've chosen a potentially good person would be wise as well.
How much time and energy have we invested into ourselves beforehand to prepare ourselves for relationships/marriage? A marriage license or a ring doesn't suddenly give one the wealth of wisdom or equip us to be that wonderful wife or husband. To listen and learn from others, and have honest assessments from them as to whether we've chosen a potentially good person would be wise as well.
Right, Langley - investing the time in self-discovery is doubtless the most important investment of all (I almost feel a song about "learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all" breaking out
). My feeling is that people who are shocked by developments in their partner probably haven't taken that time (though there are likely exceptions to that). A reward of self-knowledge is recognizing the qualities of others more accurately, methinks.
Don't you think some of us are oldish to be ballet dancers
dawndeb: if you want children yes they need a mom and dad. if no children why bother. be together and keep each other on their toes
HotrodLarrys: Viewpoints?
Committing to marriage would take a lot of consideration ( duh... lol),
but if it's not marriage, living on two separate households is a right way to go (for me).
Interesting thread, Larry, hello
Ambrose2007: Right, Langley - investing the time in self-discovery is doubtless the most important investment of all (I almost feel a song about "learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all" breaking out ). My feeling is that people who are shocked by developments in their partner probably haven't taken that time (though there are likely exceptions to that). A reward of self-knowledge is recognizing the qualities of others more accurately, methinks.
J.
Fancy meeting you here... 
tomcatwarne: Live together and see what happens
Tom,
I think I vote for your answer...
that would be the way to find a true personality...hehehehehe
Laura25: J. Fancy meeting you here...
hi Laura! plainlyjune: hi Laura!
Junie!!!!
Hello
uniquehorn: My mother always told me to try on a pair of shoes before you buy them.......she wasn't talking about shoes.
I want to live with someone first so that I know what they are like day in an day out. I liked being married, want to have that kind of commitment again, but you need to be with someone through the ordinary everyday stuff to know if this is the right person.
I want to live with someone first so that I know what they are like day in an day out. I liked being married, want to have that kind of commitment again, but you need to be with someone through the ordinary everyday stuff to know if this is the right person.
When We pass our adolescent yrs...marriage is more like an optional thing..that's how I look at it...Plus...there are no good guys out there to love that don't want to used you then dumped you when they're finished with you...I am scared to get married again..
EagleWoman: My choice is not on there...
We each have our own place...
We don't live too far from one another...
We float from one place to the other some of the time...
We each do our own thing some of the time...
We are faithful and support each other because we love one another very much whist being conscious, accepting and respecting our own individual needs.
We each have our own place...
We don't live too far from one another...
We float from one place to the other some of the time...
We each do our own thing some of the time...
We are faithful and support each other because we love one another very much whist being conscious, accepting and respecting our own individual needs.
This seems down right ideal to me at this point in my life.
My friend said marriage is only a tender trap, but for me, i will choice #2..
Laura25: Committing to marriage would take a lot of consideration ( duh... lol),
but if it's not marriage, living on two separate households is a right way to go (for me).
Interesting thread, Larry, hello
but if it's not marriage, living on two separate households is a right way to go (for me).
Interesting thread, Larry, hello
Hello Laura,
Yes it is interesting, Thanks
and Yes I am also processing it!
I am Quite gunshy of marriage too! sad to say
tho I dont feel like Giving up on Love either, so just searching out what options we have left, at this stage of the game...
Before this thread I felt I knew what was right for me, and this thread helps to clarify my original thoughts, that closer is better, (for me)and as some said living close togather, sharing time, IN PERSON, not by e-mails, and long distant Airline tickets
But thru my Evaluations, Closer is better, tho I will still leave my options open! Thank You for your input,Laura, and thanks for Posting! Hugs,
I Thank everyone for Your Answers, They have truely helped my Insight, hearing many others Views, Thanks
and Carry On!
vote # 2
gininitaly: This seems down right ideal to me at this point in my life.
I also agree with Her post seemed the most Logical thing to do,
tho to do that we must all find someone close to home!
that isnt allways easy tho!
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