If there's a lack of trust in a relationship is the relationship truly over? ( Archived) (39)

Yes, totally.

yes if she did that its over!

I voted for "no" for a change before I saw your post where you gave the reason for asking the Q. It takes time to gain a trust or to trust someone, once there is such a trust, it should be cherished and worked on, you can't be an unforgiving soul and should be able to analyse.

In your case, I don't know how you could get so blind as to convince yourself you can trust your g/f or you never took time to decide if you really trust the person or not. Easy come - easy go as they say.

Once trust is broken things will never be the same. without trust you have nothing

Without trust there is nothing.

If there's no trust in a relationship then you have nothing.

Nothing is ever cut and dry in life, wish it were, would certainly make things easier wouldn't it?

Just a few quick questions:

How did you find out she was texting other men?

If she received inappropriate messages how did she handle it?

Did she send any inappropriate messages?

Reason I ask is simple:

If she came to you and said honestly she was in contact w/ her ex on a friendship level, that's a fairly good indication she feels confident enough in your relationship to be that open and there's not likely anything untoward going on.

Secondly, if you snooped around through her phone and found these messages, well then you get what you deserved because your mistrust of her drove you to question her..everyone has a right to privacy, if she was being a liar and you were being insecure..it is truly doomed and neither one of you is better than the other.

If she didn't send any messages, but told you about the ones she got...what reason would you have to doubt something she said?

Was there more to it?

Bottom line, if you can't trust someone and be open and honest...you have nothing, period. Probably one of those better off without her scenarios.

Agree with ALL the above.....

Makes it impossible to go on.....

I have a rule you violate my trust

NEXT

Doomed!

Without trust you have nothing.....
relationship is doomed.....

As another poster commented and asked questions there are always two sides to the story. To say any relationship is "doomed" is impossible, because it all depends on the two people involved, truly how much they are willing to work things through, forgive and move on.

I had to learn to trust again because of the actions of an ex. Some of my past made R hesitant to trust me. We had to work through it and find away that we could feel comfortable trusting each other.

Sometimes it was/is very hard. With the right person it is worth the effort and emotional turmoil though.

Isn't part of a relationship, learning to work through those rough moments? Yes, people can be hurt and sometimes rightly so, but love is still possible and giving someone that opportunity is part of it. Doesn't mean that they don't need to change their behaviours etc., but its about working it through. A relationship with a child is much the same - do we toss our kids aside when they do something bad, or do we work it through? It doesn't make the other person's actions right, but simply means that they are human. Continued actions though - may need further consideration - does that make sense?