Aeterna Blog Comments (41)

RE: All input accepted

sands, the American Empire is so strong, that you don't have anything to worry about. People all around the world are most of the time sick and tired of American dominion and 'war business' (as one my German friend said: 'whenever USA has political and economic problems - it makes another war somewhere in the world and solves them quickly') but cannot do anything about it. USA is just too strong. Even if the Empire falls, the USA itself will remain a strong and rich country. Although it is responsible for many bad things in the world, USA will remain one of the most stable country for living in the future too, I think.

The materialistic attitude towards life is everywhere and you cannot escape from it. The consumer society. It's in our human relationships too. That's why we are so unhappy and lonely. If one looks at people like 'goods' (s)he wants to use - what good can it bring to him/her?

If the world comes to an end in 2012 we wouldn't have to worry about this any more. Unfortunately, we're not that lucky I guess.

RE: ME ?? HIGH MAINTENANCE...... YOU MUST BE JOKING GU

Nothing is good for men nowadays.

If they are with a woman with less money than them - they are dissatisfied, because they could have more with a richer woman. If they are with a woman with more money than them - their self-esteem is endangered.

If I were you, I would relax and enjoy, spend my money on traveling and meeting new people all around world and wouldn't care at all what men think and want!

If I had your money, I would never use the internet for dating. Especially not dating sites.

RE: All input accepted

These are generalizations, of course. But, there is definitely a significant number of described men.

I've met one Japanese online who was so bitter and dissatisfied and insecure and full of complaints and critics, that I told him: 'You're a real Serbian. You can move here and find a lot of friends similar to you.'

Actually the disappointment and insecurity and dissatisfaction are the same everywhere and not all men succeed in life and business, despite good living conditions.

RE: All input accepted

I read about some Russian women who complained that they are personally satisfied with their life and jobs, but they can't get along with Russian men any more because of the same reasons. And they are searching for a foreign man who would come and live in Russia - they are not at all interested in moving to another country.

Women are somehow different - we have a lot of other things that can make us happy and satisfied, but to some (or most?) men success and money are very important for self-esteem and if they are unable to achieve what they want - they become terrible.

I know some men here who are the same as your ex-husband. They live just fine for Serbian living standards, but when they start to compare themselves with men from more developed countries who work the same job - they are dissatisfied, angry and bitter again! Men always have to compare and compete, I guess.

And then you start talking to men from other countries who succeeded in achieving what they planned and wanted and although those are completely ordinary men with ordinary lives - they seem so GREAT and you can relax! Of course, there are a lot of dissatisfied men in the Western countries too and they are the same as these ones at home, but you recognise them fast and run away!

RE: All input accepted

There is another thing too that is rarely discussed.

Bad economic situation often effects bad on men's self-esteem. If they are unable to succeed in business no matter how capable they are or cannot support their family no matter how hard they try - men tend not to feel 'men enough' and become nervous, bitter, unkind... I know many men in Serbia in their 40's who are almost unbearable because they are not satisfied with their lives and don't know how to make them better because of the economic situation. After talking to plenty of those men, when I started talking to some Japanese men (for example) online - of the same age, the same level of education, the same type of job, the same level of attractiveness - it was such a relief!

That's also one of the reasons some women from Eastern Europe choose men from other countries, especially those who would like to stay in their own country. They can't handle local men's dissatisfaction and insecurity any more.

RE: All input accepted

Now I read your last post. I think that you really have nothing to be afraid of.

You could be disappointed if she loved USA more than you or was so poor that needed to get married to someone just to have a decent life.

But her situation is completely different.

RE: All input accepted

Depends what you're afraid of.

I agree that due to a bad economic situation, many women from the Eastern Europe tend to get married to men from developed countries, because they are looking for a man who is financially stable and can provide them security. That doesn't differ much from many other countries in the world, only the requirements are lower. Someone that is an ordinary man with an ordinary salary who leads ordinary life in (for example) USA is the same for an Eastern European woman as a rich man with a good salary (or a company owner) who leads rich life for an American woman.

That means that an average American man can easily get married to a beautiful educated feminine Eastern European woman. At the same time this doesn't mean that that woman would marry him just to get to USA or get a green card or anything like that. If your lady lives in at least average living conditions for her own country and you're not some wealthy man with yachts and hotels, she probably chose you on other criteria as well. The same as you probably don't go to Latvia for her just because she's a pretty woman, right?

You never know what kind of person is someone, so be careful, but I don't see how she can use you if you're going to visit her and stay in a hotel.

RE: for men out there.....

I'm a woman, but I don't know how to handle other people's crying. I never know what to do.

RE: My pets

I have a female cat that wants to be cuddled all day long.

You're right. We're their pets.

RE: My pets

I have one cat.

RE: Soulmates? Are you kidding me!

I don't believe in soulmates. Finding someone, as inthemind said, 'who is nearly effortless to get along with' is already a lot!

A dilemma

People always say one has to adjust the criteria, it doesn't matter if you don't like someone as a person or you're not physically attracted to him, it should be enough for you if he's an honest and fine man... But, it isn't. If you really dislike someone, if you have little in common with someone and you try to be with him just because of some nice characteristics he has or the same type of relationship you both want - in the end you finish feeling either miserable or not feeling anything (becoming completely empty). That's not the solution.

Who knows, maybe there are some men in this universe who would want the same as I do and whom I could really like.

RE: true or false?????

If you treat yourself nice, then you won't allow others treat you bad. That doesn't mean that bad people would start treating you nice, just that you would know to set boundaries when you see that behavior. If you treat yourself bad, you wouldn't be able not only to protect yourself from others, but often to recognize bad behavior towards you as well.

RE: Just be yourself

There are many people online who deceive, not only others about who they are, but themselves too. They behave the same in reality, lying themselves, just in reality others can see that if they spend some time with them. It's much harder online. Internet is a great place for such people, because it allows them to enjoy pretending to be someone they wish to be and have a lot of virtual friends who support that belief with their believing. Meeting such people in real life is disappointing the same as meeting those who pretend and lie just to play with others (but really know who they are). It's even worse, because it needs time to get to know them and during that time you keep on being deceived.

RE: Stand up and BE COUNTED ! ! ! !

A dilemma

Thanks a lot for your comments, even the funny ones.

I'm a woman and have a right to whine and cry whenever I feel like it!

Actually I needed to write this and put it somewhere 'public' so that I can more easily think about it again and figure out what's wrong.

Somehow I have a feeling that my 'aura' differs too much from what I really am and want, which attracts a lot of wrong men in my life. It's not that they are wrong as a person, just that they are something I don't want.

My outer 'personality' (which is cheerful, talkative, fun and carefree) doesn't match my inner 'personality' (which is calm, serious and down-to-earth) and I always put my outer 'personality' first. We all develop some 'persona' during the life, something that we show to the outside world and it's definitely the part of us, but sometimes it's not all there is inside. My outer 'personality' brings me a lot of men who are fine, but want the type of relationship I don't. I guess if I show my inner personality first, I should avoid such men.

Instead of spending so much time in dealing with the men I cannot have the type of relationship I want to, no matter how charming they are, I can avoid them from the start and deal only with the ones who want the same things as I do. And in time I'll probably find someone I like among them, but I'll have to be patient.

I guess the type of relationship is something that goes first, at least in my case.

I'll have to 'bridle' my outer 'personality' a little.

RE: Evolution

Nowadays 'protection' = 'money', so your question is illogical.

RE: If I am....:(((

I have some men who would like to come to meet me, but so far didn't say anything about 'quality time'. However, I plan to tell them what they can and cannot expect if they come. I thought a lot about this problem. If a man is lazy and unwilling to do anything to meet a woman - we're not satisfied. If he is adventurous and willing to come - we are suspicious and dissatisfied. Does it mean a woman should meet only men she wouldn't mind sleeping with on the first date?

RE: Someone that you like

That's completely true, Jim. And that makes men even more lazy and apathetic and less and less manly...

RE: Someone that you like

Jana, I'm so tired of insecure men. I'm tired of having to take care of every word and every move, of having to 'build someone's ego' every day, of tolerating all those terrible behaviour insecure people always have... I just can't do that any more! So, if he's too insecure to approach me - maybe it's better that way.

Btw, on dating sites, men sometimes like women, but don't approach them because of the distance. Telling him that you like him if you're on different sides of the world and he wants someone within 50 km far from him is pretty useless, I think.

RE: Someone that you like

No, I wouldn't say anything. If I'm around and he sees me, but doesn't approach, then he doesn't like me anyway. Why asking for a confirmation? On dating sites it's usually enough just to look at someone's profile and if a man is interested - he sends a message. If he's not - he doesn't.

RE: how to lose a guy in 5 days on CS?

You shouldn't reply to such impersonal messages from the very beginning. Only to people who seem nice and interesting. If the conversation doesn't 'flow' from the very beginning then it usually means it's not worth the effort. Exchanging letters should be enjoyable for both parties.

RE: What went wrong ! ! ! !

The world became too materialistic. I used to go out with no money in my pocket. We used to have a walk, hang out in groups, talk with everyone (and all young people of the town used to go out on same places so you could meet practically anyone), sit on benches, played pool, etc. You could have had fun even if you didn't have any money. Nowadays it's not possible any more and not only for young people. Everyone seems not to have enough money or time for other people. I guess 'cheep fun' (enjoying just in being with other people) started to become less and less popular...

I'm happy I had the youth I had. It taught me everything. I'm not sure that you can develop social skills on blogs, forums, chats and Facebook. It might seem so, but in reality... After meeting some people who literally 'live online' - I'm not sure.

RE: I'm tired of being nice to people ...

I agree with Jana.

You have to learn how to be assertive while being nice. It's not that easy, but people must know that if you're polite, kind and nice that doesn't mean that they can use you or treat you with disrespect.

RE: Astonishing!!!

People are the same anywhere you go.

Differences are found on the surface, but the deeper you go, the more similar people become.

RE: What went wrong ! ! ! !

The world has changed.

I have a neighbour who's 24. He's been doing his masters in IT. He's online all the time, everything he does or studies is connected to the internet. He also met all his friends online, as well as girlfriends. He doesn't go out to clubs and cafes, he's not at all interested in 'real people' who surround him and live in the same town he's been living. When he 'goes out' he actually opens some of those big games that are played online by people all over the world or goes to Facebook or some similar place. Recently he has gone to Germany to some 'games fair' where he hoped to meet all his virtual friends he's been playing games online with for years. He seems very happy and satisfied. Once he told me: 'If the internet disappears I wouldn't know what to do and how to live'. This is the new generation. He (and young people similar to him) don't long for some past they never experienced, just heard about. And don't even want to try it.

RE: The weight issue

I want a man to be at least 10 kg heavier than me (I have 50 kg). I wouldn't like him to be too overweight, either, for example 170 cm tall, but has a weight of 100 kg. All ordinary looking men are fine. Personally, I prefer stronger and bigger men than slim ones and I always get cheerful when meeting someone I can think of: 'This one can grab me and hold me and take me in his arms easily' , but I can be with a slim man too. When I was a teenager, I used to like men who go to the gym regularly and have a perfect body, but nowadays, that's not important any more.

RE: Every Womens Dream

It does exist and it's not very hard to find either. However, often something else is missing...

RE: MISSING SOMETHING

Kissing and cuddling and that feeling when you look at him: 'he's mine'.

RE: Its Ironic !

I think people believe in love, but love with a person who matches certain criteria. Those criteria are usually unrealistically high and that's why most people easily get disappointed or hurt or unsatisfied. That's the same problem both with men and women.

People on this site and most similar sites are usually in not so good financial situation and look for wealthy men or women who will financially support them. Or they are financially stable, but are looking only for fun, not a serious relationship. Or if they do, it's usually because they have children and need someone to take care of them.

I'm not sure if it is possible to meet 'true love' on such sites. Maybe, but very very rarely.

That's my impression, which is completely subjective, of course.