Ahhhhh........ I can quite categorically state I have never been married to Oslo, she has not died in a car accident and I hope she doesn't get run over by a bus!
Oh well, I've been married three times and none of them died in a car accident.... although I kinda wish one of them...no, that's really nasty to wish anything like that!
Sounds a great idea, but you'd have to scroll down past all the Annas, Brigittas, Claudias, Denises, Elaines, Friedas, Gertrudes and Helenas............... why not ACE? (Accident Call Emergency)........ dammit - call all the women on my mobile phone; at least one might care!
Some people have a special purpose in life - and I believe she is one of them...... she doesn't complain or wish us in anyway to feel sorry for her but she makes us THINK ...... and making people step back from their everyday problems and realise what things are important in life that we take for granted (e.g. being able to drink and eat and taste things and think without powerful drugs messing with our brains) - to really appreciate just being alive and to wonder at the beauty and fragility of life and to step back and ponder if we, as individuals, have any contribution to make in the great expanse of history..... to want to live life more than we do and with more enthusiasm - that is a very SPECIAL message!
Oh........ I hope my pathetic attempt at being amusing didn't upset you......... I think a nice pile of fresh flannels in a bathroom is a sign of a nice, clean, healthy relationship -
have you ever noticed how in American 'movies' if a guy has a shave he wipes off all the soap and stuff off his face with a small towel and then throws it in the wash?
Talk about being uneconomical............. I used to make my favourite flannel last at least three months before3 washing it...... if it dried and stayed 'stiff' it meant it was time for a wash.... know what I mean?
I have to admit I do let her 'vibrate' for a few seconds before I switch it off...... she then gives me the most evil look, but I just smile at her sweetly and say:
(but gimme a drink you looks like a nice sugar daddy type; I'll take it and say 'How's your father?' then piss off and join me mates and we'll have a laff at you 'cos you is a pathetic dirty old man, innit?)
I agree......... being together with a bossy teacher type would be Hell after a few weeks!
Only joking.......... I am sure that many people find a 'medium distance' relationship the ideal - a 'long distance' relationship (e.g. 'across the pond') is just so much financial and time hassle, while an 'inter-European' one is neither too far away in time travel terms or too hard to plan financially with cheapo flights still going the rounds even with huge fuel price hikes -
the saying:
'Familiarity breeds contempt' has less chance of taking root if you plan your leisure time together and get on with the serious side of life 'independently' (provided neither of you are the cloying 'I can't live a day without you' types)........
Have you noticed how many couples who 'tolerate' each other for decades (when at least one is working) divorce or virtually live apart once thewy have both retired from earning their daily crust?
Only starting off a holiday in Istanbul........ going to a few other places in Turkey and Egypt and Greece; it's a cruise my dad paid as a wonderful gift to me about a month before he died........and he so wanted my partner and myself to go on it so I'll go and honour his memory and drink a bottle of wine or two in his memory and say:
I just hope it lasts and lasts and lasts and lasts........... I've known such love in 53 years! ~sniff~
We're BOTH very independent and like the idea of seeing each other every few weeks instead of being together all the time and treading on each other's toes and getting in the way of other things we have to do in life....... I believe she works very hard at her job, while I need a great deal of time to myself so I can 'think' without constantly having to consider another person 24/7.
I like/need to have my own space sometimes - most people probably do, right?
When you are away from somebody you love for a couple of weeks you miss them terribly - then when you meet again it's wonderful, and you really enjoy each other's company - even if it's just cleaning out dead things from the fridge, or cooking for each other or going for a quick swim while the carers come and look after my mother for 1.5 hours.
I thought I could only cope looking after my mother 21/24/7 for a month at a time, but my partner will fly out after three weeks for a long weekend and then I can manage for a couple more couple weeks after she's gone, then I'll fly out to see her for nine days (a week plus TWO weekends - woohoo!) then she'll fly out to me three weeks later -
so a kinda 10 week cycle, and no need for any exotic holiday next year as I live on a lovely island and she has the most beautiful cottage in the woods in a fairy tale setting in deepest Deutscheland....
Most days are perfect days for me...........I have such a wonderful life and when I start grumbling I have to kick myself and count my blessings.
I've not had a chance to grieve my dad yet - been too busy making sure that my mother is taken care of.......... but I find everything so easy at the moment in that every time I have to do something I just ask the simple question:
'What would my father have done?' - and, especially if it concerns the financial or physical or mental or emotional welfare of my mother I just go ahead and do it...........
at the moment I have a cunning plan called 'Death by chocolate' but I am sure she can eat more chocolate than I can afford so that's not going to work, dammit!¬ I couldn't believe it.. after just three small boxes of chocolates consumed in about three hours my mother said:
'No more! Take them away!'
I had to eat the last box of chocolates myself. I felt quite sick afterwards. My mum said:
I'm doing fine....just saw my girlfriend/partner off at the airport - and it's going to take ages to get the villa all untidy and dirty and 'comfy' again!
Lord, what a workaholic with cleaning agents and washing and throwing out 'stuff' - I felt quite faint and exhausted watching her work away with teutonic zeal in her nice rubber gloves!
She even got my paralysed mother working!
My mother had to stop watching tv, for several minutes, and decide what 'things' she wanted to keep on display on top of a corner bookcase thingy... in the end my mother said:
'ENOUGH! PLEASE TURN ME BACK ROUND SO I CAN WATCH TV IN PEACE!'
I was not allowed to smoke in my own room, or even throw my dirty clothes on the floor in the style I am accustomed to!
Actually, I quite like being told what to do....making decisions is such hard work for a man of my limited intellect.
I adore strong women - especially women who can carry me up to bed and smooth my hair and say:
An address would help, but I only want it if freely given......... my girlfriend/partner has managed to speak to him. I didn't really want an address unless he wanted to give me his address - I'd be tempted to go and see him and it's not right to force yourself on somebody.
Non-contact was quite simple - if I let my ex wife know I was going to go to Berlin, she'd just make sure she 'left town'...... and if I didn't let her know in advance she could create a huge legal fuss.
I've seen kids used as footballs between parents. I didn't want to interfere in my son's life and cause him confusion while he was growing up. I'd never known him, we had not been able to bond. He was born several months after his mother got rid of me. I soon found out that she was living with a man she'd lived with for five years and split up with a year before she met me; maybe they could not have kids. My father was convinced that she married me just to have my child!
Who knows?
Regarding writing to my son - I tried several times to get my ex wife to agree to me writing him a letter that he could open on his 18th birthday. I was happy for her to read the draft and for myself to rewrite it as many times as was necessary until it met with her approval. I wanted my son to know about how his mother and father met and about his family on my side.
My ex wife refused. She dismissed me with total contempt and arrogance. She told me I just happened to be the biological father (never mind by marriage), and that my son was nothing to do with me.
When he was born she at first refused to even let me know if the baby was a boy or a girl! By the time I found out he was born I was going crazy with concern to find out if mother and child were ok; she only finally told me he was born twelve days after the event (he was born a week earlier than expected).
There are always two sides to a story. I do not know her side. I just feel sad that my father died without ever having had the chance to meet his youngest grandchild.
My father loved my ex wife as if she was the daughter he never had. She loved him like a father; and she'd lost her own father 20 years previously.
It's all very sad........ maybe one day he'll want to see me; until he wishes to see me I'll not force myself on him.
'All things come to he who waits'....... I just hope I meet my son before I die.
Trust me - I have never met my younger son; my ex wife's partner took on the role of being a father figure and my partner has found out that my ex wife and this gut split up and my son is living with this father figure!
I made contact via a German Uncle on my son's 18th birthday last year - he got the message but replied that he does not want anything to do with me......... I guess my ex had 18 years to brain wash him against his natural, legitimate dad.
Never mind me, though - what about knowing his grandparents, brother, cousins, aunt and uncle from my side of the family? With three of these people already dead I just think it's a crying shame...........and his mother's parents were both dead years before we even met!
I very much doubt it..... he didn't have a poetic bone in his body - but it meant a lot to me because it encapsulated what I felt about the place...... it's a shame I can't convey those same feelings to other people.
Why do some people like to take on the role of God?
31st October 2006 - my youngest nephew died aged 21
12th October 2007 - my brother died aged 60
14th August 2008 - my dad died
My youngest son's mother - what right does/did she have to prevent him ever meeting any of these people - let alone his half-brother or even his legitimate father?
However, some good people are so nervous they don't look you in the eye.......... and the BEST conmen will look you straight in the eye as they fleece you!
Exceptions always prove the rule.
I like to look people in the eye, by the way; especially over a drink as my hand wanders and I pinch a couple of their peanuts!
Actually I've only been to Bulgaria once - it was in the summer of 1966 and I was a little toffee-nosed kid and we had this holiday in Slanchev Briag which means 'Sunny Beach' in English and my dad met this Russian lady who was a spy and she used to swim out with him to a buoy and back which annoyed my mum because she would not swim out of her death and even before my dad died he kept getting cards from her (in Australia) signed off 'from Russia with love' and it was ok because nothing ever happened between them and my mother couldn't be arsed to be annoyed and this lady's husband was dying of cancer and that was quite sad and she'd ask after my mum and stuff..............
rusty_knight Forum Posts (6,840)
........... but of course!¬
RE: Need some legal advice
Ahhhhh........ I can quite categorically state I have never been married to Oslo, she has not died in a car accident and I hope she doesn't get run over by a bus!