Trying to find someone at my age is almost impossible, the older woman gets little attention even from men in my own age group, they want younger! I think finding someone would be easier if people weren't so shallow, some call it "preferences", "chemistry', etc. That's all good but you really do have to come to terms with what you are looking for. If you have a particular person or dream image in mind, maybe you will be lucky However, I think meeting the right person is by chance, we just don't know when that special person might come along So you have to keep an open mind and don't give up, there is probably somebody out there who will knock your socks off!
I have always been one who fell in love first, money has never mattered to me. My ex was very generous, he showered me with houses, cars, clothes, jewelry, etc. Although I appreciated his generosity, I would much rather have felt loved. Material things don't last, loving someone through your actions is much more important. Money can't buy happiness!
Ok, guess I came in on the tale end of this post, I didn't realise there was a whole line of posts before mine. My initial advice was to women who have dated men and eventually found out they were married. I do feel that this forum is not suitable for the kind of conflict that is going on between the intial poster and her counterpart. I don't mind supporting anyone and if I can give advice, always willing but you two need to work it out outside this medium.
Most young people who have a lot of friends have yet to know the meaning and value of true friendship. I don't have a lot of friends, associates yes but true and genuine friendships, few. I would rather have one good friend then a whole bunch of so called friends. I had a really good friend at least I thought for over 20 years and our friendship ended over something so stupid and even though we tried to get it back, it just wasn't there anymore. I have come to realise that people I thought were my friends were really not. The old adage, "Out of sight, out of mind" really applies when it comes to friendship. I moved away and tried to keep in touch with old friends by phone, mail, etc. but it was always me doing the calling and writing. Friendship is very important to me and I really believe even in a romantic relationship the friendship must continue in order for it to work. I don't have a lot of women friends because I had a profession that was male dominated so it has taken a lot of time for me to establish relationships with women on a friendship basis. But I really value friendship and have always tried to be a good friend, someone you can depend on. But I once heard a saying, "If you want your friends, your enemies won't hurt you"! Hope that is not true!
Of course! Remember for many years it was always the man that preferred younger women. Now the tables have been turned, age is just a number. More and more younger men are finding that the older women brings the "seasoned" lover to the table. I don't think it's wrong for a woman to seek a "boy toy" just like men for many years have had and still have their "mistresses".
Since 2001 after over 24 years of marriage! "Love is a temporary form of insanity, instantly cured by marriage"! Ever heard that song by Gnarles Barkley "Crazy", I musta been!
I would like to extend my sympathy to you and your family Pete. The loss of someone you love is never easy no matter what the circumstances. Take comfort in the fact that you obviously had a wonderful relationship with your Mother, the memories you shared will never die. Our stay here on earth is only temporary, we have to make the best of it and those who are fortunate enough to have love from family or friends are truly blessed. My thoughts are with you and all who loved and knew your Mother.
Most people don't get, you are very young so I hope you don't mind some advice from an older and wiser woman.... Material things don't show love, simple acts of kindness works better. If I can offer you any words of advice it would be this.. Learn to listen, love unconditionally and most importantly communicate and please, please above all else always be honest! Also the love of another person is not enough to sustain you, by that I mean, don't depend on someone else for your happiness. Another person should not be responsible for "healing your pain", whatever healing you need has to come from within yourself. I think it's great you want to buy her roses, but roses will die, what remains is how you treat her and that will prove how special she is to you.
Being ignored is much worse than being alone. When you ignore a person it is a form of rejection, I should know I've experienced it often. What makes a person feel worthy? It isn't that you need attention, but if someone ignores your presence whether it's in person or not, it is hurtful. Being alone is a choice that can be changed. However, being lonely is dreadful and I very much like an illness. I don't mind being alone, I just hate being lonely.
I wish I could say that my experience on the web has been great, on the contrary it has been disappointing and heartbreaking. Deception and dishonesty runs rampant here, people aren't who they say they are and the game playing is simply amazing! I guess it wouldn't bother me so much if people didn't present themselves as genuine and sincere. What attracts you to an ad? You see that there are common interests but more importantly the person placing the ad states that they are "honest, sincere, good sense of humour", etc. More often than not I have found that it is just a way to get you to send photos to them and perhaps their hoping for the opportunity to exchange some juicy email. As an older person what surprises me most is that most of the game playing is done by men in their 50's and 60's, you would think by the time they reach that age they would be mature. They lie about everything, I had the experience with someone who presented themselves as single and after months of letter exchanging, my letters were intervened by his wife. This was shocking and depressing as I was in the process of flying to Norway to meet him. I wish someone could explain to me why men feel it necessary to play with someone's emotions? I have always been honest, upfront, kind, loving, etc., but what do I get in return, the smiling faces that stab you in the back. Further, why can't men say what they really want? If all they want is a BJ, then Damn it, say it! If all they want is a F----, then be man enough to say it! If they're not interested in a long term relationship then why place the ad under that category? There is no such thing as "love at first sight" or falling in love on the web without actually spending time with someone in person. The web affords people the ability to connect with people they otherwise may never have the opportunity to do so. There have been fairytale moments reported by people who have been fortunate to have made a love connection and I applaud them. But I would really like to hear from people who have had similar experiences, maybe a support group is in order, I don't know. Maybe there is someone out there who can tell me not to give up, maybe someone has an answer for what goes on here. All I can say is this is indeed a web that can entangle you.....don't get caught up!
I agree, "patience is wonderful", but to what degree? Of course some may not agree with me when I say there has to be a limit to patience. By that I mean, time is of the essence and I have found that I have put so much time and effort into so called "web dating", the lack of communication is mind boggling to me. I am the one who is very patiently waiting for answers to my letters and emails. I feel that communication has to be two way. Another words, it can't be one sided, one person doing all the writing, etc. All my life I have exibited extreme patience, and what was "revealed" to me is that I am patiently waiting for nothing!
I am the Invisible Woman.... The one you do not see.... Why? Because you won't even look at me... Ten years ago, I would have chosen you... Twenty years ago, You would have chosen me... Thirty years ago we would have spent time together, time that neither of us will ever forget... But now...you walk pass me, you ignore my presence and as each day passes I am constantly reminded that I am the Invisible Woman, the one you CHOOSE not to see......
Age is just a number or is it? The fact remains that most people dread being referred to as "older" and here in the US if you are my age you are considered a "senior citizen". I hate it! Am I in denial, no but society has put such emphasis on staying young. We can't be forever young, there are definate changes that will occur, no avoiding that. However, I believe the mind, our attitudes, etc., can remain as young as we desire. I guess what makes me sad is that there are men out there who won't even look at a woman over 50 and many won't even give someone a chance if a woman is in her 40's. I call myself the invisible woman because although beauty is in the eye of the beholder, women my age are looked upon as someone's mother or grandmother. I don't know if I can judge someone and tell them it is wrong to lie about your age. However, truth has always been what I embrace. The reality is men can get anybody if they have the looks. Some men are in denial, they think having some hot chick on their arm makes them look young, more often then not, people think otherwise. But if you have the looks and can handle the demands of a younger woman, go for it!
elegantlady Forum Posts (104)
RE: finding someone
Trying to find someone at my age is almost impossible, the older woman gets little attention even from men in my own age group, they want younger! I think finding someone would be easier if people weren't so shallow, some call it "preferences", "chemistry', etc. That's all good but you really do have to come to terms with what you are looking for. If you have a particular person or dream image in mind, maybe you will be lucky