kieyotiekieyotie Forum Posts (615)

RE: ADVANTAGES OF BEING A RED-NECK

Holy cow!rolling on the floor laughing

Well he said his Schwartz was bigger. I disagreed. The war was on.

I was fighting for your honor I think...

RE: ADVANTAGES OF BEING A RED-NECK

{Also have no idea who my mystery wife is! And if I've got little ones, then I'm missing out on quite a bit! Less drinking, more McDonalds coffee needed?}

Still think Angel is a cutie!

Might send Builder to go play 'Uncle' until I can get home?

RE: ADVANTAGES OF BEING A RED-NECK

Hey! That's not fair! I TOLD you I was drunk. And it was cold. And "Uncle"just cuddled, we didn't play no naked games.

If you're going to keep tellin secrets, I might just be a little late comin' home.

Just be sure to fed the kids and the dogs, not from the same bowl this time, and I'll be along.hug

RE: ADVANTAGES OF BEING A RED-NECK

Too COLD!laugh

I've been marched into the Atlantic before.

Not as bad as the Bering Sea...Walked on it... but still too cold for this redneck!

I do enjoy traveling in the NE, hope to have a place up there in Connecticut between Boston and Maine some day.

RE: ADVANTAGES OF BEING A RED-NECK

Dang, it's sooo hard to find a new wife when the current one stays around!

Got busted again.

Sorry Hon, I'll be home to Warsh the dishes and take out the trash in just a bit.

rolling on the floor laughing

RE: ADVANTAGES OF BEING A RED-NECK

Depends on what you like.

We've got mountains out west.
Hill country in the middle.
Forests in the north east.
Deserts, Swamps, Praire, Bush country.
Our beaches aren't too bad.

The best white tail hunting in the country.
Javalena's good to hunt. Rabbits, Dove, and Quail, too.
Plus there's no season on exotics.

Fishing ain't too bad.

But there are great big stretches of nothing but pasture with a couple oil wells and some cattle to look at.

We have 3 of the largest cities in the country if you like that.
Plenty of small towns where people tend to take care of each other.

Not to mention some of the best actors and country singers out now.

I love my home state. Just call me "Way too proud of Texas guy" and toss me another beer!

beer

RE: ADVANTAGES OF BEING A RED-NECK

It's a different country, that's for sure! But we take good care of good Yankee girls.cheers

RE: ADVANTAGES OF BEING A RED-NECK

Ahhh, but people forget about the rather large rednecks who don't like that joke!
Maybe because so few people who encounter us make it home to warn others.

But If I've heard it once....

RE: ADVANTAGES OF BEING A RED-NECK

Dang!

Texas does have more small towns than any other state, but It's quite a bit different than Maryland. Sho' nuf!

RE: ADVANTAGES OF BEING A RED-NECK

A job!?

You want to come to Texas Angel!?

hug

RE: ADVANTAGES OF BEING A RED-NECK

Nope, no one's stealing my dogs. Had that discussion with a couple different girls already!

If you like my dogs, you gotta like me too!

rolling on the floor laughing

RE: ADVANTAGES OF BEING A RED-NECK

I had a coon hound named Blue. Now I've got a fat coyote, and 2 blue heeler/ border collies. One of which is my Dixie Belle. And not to offend, but they dislike pot heads, anyone of color, and pretty much anyone not me. they thing women folk are right nifty though, different perty smells and all.

Great poem can't wait to send it off to several folk I know!

RE: ADVANTAGES OF BEING A RED-NECK

Here's a favorite:
You're wife's cheatin' on you and me.

yay

RE: boycot Gas prices

I've seen you hammer our Government and know that yours is no better, worse in some cases. Isn't it sad?

I get frustrated that someone like myself will never rise to high level public office. I don't have enough money for one, and don't sugar coat.

At least I can see the schools, and new roads, and such that my taxes cover. (Although in the comments part of my tax check, I print "To pay the salary of....." a certain officer I do not get along with. He hates it.)

I still say, if we got together and put up a resistance for more than a single day, and actually took a stand against the oil companies like Mobil, exxon, and Valero, they'd drop their prices...for awhile.

Until we can do that, we get what we deserve. I write letters, make the calls, and do my part, what about you?

RE: ADVANTAGES OF BEING A RED-NECK

Sounds like I need to find myself a Kiwi girl! All redneck and the accent I like, too!

If you get a chance, take a look at "Dumb 'ol Country Boy/ City of Angels" by 10 City Run, they're out of San Antonio.

And Redneck is definately International! So welcome if you need it to be official.

RE: ADVANTAGES OF BEING A RED-NECK

In high school in South Texas, my family had a small horse ranch, my best friend worked his family's place growing milo and had a few cattle. Another was a hay farmer. Another had a large hog farm. And yet another had one of the largest cattle ranches in the area.

We had parties out in one of our pastures, usually with a large bonfire.

We went mudding anytime it rained (Which I'm hoping it does here soon!)

We got drunk on weekends and spent quite a bit of time parked out on the back roads under the stars with our girlfriends.

We were rednecks, and unashamed. We fought when it was needed, said Yes Sir and Yes Ma'am, and were decent kids.

We wore blue jeans and boots, cowboy hats, and carried pocket knives. We had AG, Shop, and Auto mechanics as our favorite classes, but still learned the rest. Football was big, but Bull riding on Sunday was bigger.

Chili cook offs, and summer rodeo.

While most of us were cowboys, too, Redneck was what fitted us a s a group.

RE: ADVANTAGES OF BEING A RED-NECK

Got a roll of each in the truck. Made a complet ehaust system once with Baling wire and soup cans.

Can't forget about Bondo and primer!

RE: ADVANTAGES OF BEING A RED-NECK

You can marry into it!

hug

And yes, the term "Redneck" come from the Farm and Ranch live style. Undereducated working class with a pair of winter shoes and overalls.

But now it's more an attitude and way of life, like being classified as a "Yuppie", only pretty much the opposite.

Don't even need a sun burned neck, many redneck still sport mullets!

Search for Jeff Foxworthy, Bill Engval, Larry the Cable Guy, "You might be a Redneck If...", and Ron White, Blue Collar Comedy Tour, or just "Redneck"!

More advantages....

You get to know who Hank Williams is, Jr and Sr, Mel Tillis, you knew who Johnny Cash was before the movie came out, Waylon Jennings, Conway Twitty, Lorretta Lynn, etc.

You know how to syphon gas.

You get to drink moonshine.

You can dress out a wide variety of animals.

RE: ADVANTAGES OF BEING A RED-NECK

<----- Drives a 30 year old ford, 351, 4 bbl carb, 33x12.5 tires Vrooom!

I like them all, they all tear up the same, ford, chevy, dodge.

I like body styles not brands.


Another advantage to being a redneckis I can eat fried pig skins in public and keep pickled eggs in the fridge.

I can ride with my dogs in the front of the truck.

A mud coated truck is attractive.

And Bear, most hillbillies ARE rednecks! Just wander the Ozarks. Some of the best women I've dated were Arkansas hillybilly rednecks! That was back when I had a Trans Am....and a chevy 4x4.

RE: ADVANTAGES OF BEING A RED-NECK

First day of any hunting season is a school/ work holiday.

Camouflage is an acceptable color for trucks.

Screw something up and no one is surprised, do something godd and it's amazing.

You get to wear your boots to church.

So many jokes apply to family members.

Living in a trailer isn't shameful.

Neither is driving a truck older than you are.

Dogs are an acceptable security system.

Your girlfriend will punch anyone for you for fun.

We are not prejudiced, you can be rich, poor, any race and color, and we'll still accept you.

RE: boycot Gas prices

It costs me $150 to fill my old truck. I only drive on weekends and average a fill-up a month.
I'm not that old and can remember when gas was less than $1 a gallon.

I understand that "Big Oil" profits less per unit than any thing else sold, but they are still profitting billions a quarter.

If we decide not to pay what we're being charged, ie:stop buying until the prices drop, there's not much the oil companies can do. Here in Corpus the refinery workers stopped going in until our local prices dropped. Looks like it needs to happen again.

{I love to drive, it's what I used to do to get rid of stress. Not so much anymore. Now I have a bicycle, which doesn't work as well.}

Kids and dogs

A boy was assigned a paper on childbirth and asked his parents, "How was I born?"
"Well honey..." said the slightly prudish parent, "the stork brought you to us."
"Oh," said the boy. "Well, how did you and daddy get born?" he asked.
"Oh, the stork brought us too."
"Well how were grandpa and grandma born?" he persisted.
"Well darling, the stork brought them too!" said the parent, by now starting to squirm a little in the Lazy Boy recliner.
Several days later, the boy handed in his paper to the teacher who read with confusion the opening sentence:
"This report has been very difficult to write due to the fact that there hasn't been a natural childbirth in my family for three generations."

***********

What do you give an 80 yr-old grandma for her birthday?
Mikey, he'll eat anything!

*******

I'm gonna watch cartoons with my neice, I'll be back later!

RE: Fill the blank: I need ..........

A female partner for perverted fun!banana

Or someone to just cuddle and watch movies with.wine

Kids and dogs

Paddy and his two friends are talking at a bar.
His first friend says: "I think my wife is having an affair with the electrician. The other day I came home and found wire cutters under our bed and they weren't mine."
His second friend says: "I think my wife is having an affair with the plumber the other day I found a wrench under the bed and it wasn't mine."
Paddy says: "I think my wife is having an affair with a horse." Both his friends look at him with utter disbelief.
"No, I'm serious. The other day I came home and found a jockey under our bed."

Kids and dogs

This one's even worse....

There was this guy and he had a girlfriend called Lorraine who was very pretty and he liked her a lot. One day he went to work to find a new girl had started. Her name was Clearly and she was absolutely gorgeous.

He became quite besotted with her and after a while it became obvious that she was interested in him too. But this guy was a loyal man and he wouldn't do anything with Clearly while he was still going out with Lorraine.

He decided that there was nothing for it but to break up with her and get it on with the new girl. He planned several times to tell Lorraine but he couldn't bring himself to do it.

One day they went for a walk along the river bank when Lorraine slipped and fell in to the river. The current carried her off and she drowned. The guy stopped for a moment by the river and then ran off smiling and singing.......

"I can see Clearly now Lorraine has gone"

Kids and dogs

A mother and son were walking through the park and both see a pair of dogs getting after it.
The mother, thinking fast tells her son, "See that one doggie on top, he hurt his paw so the other one is helping him get home."
The young boy nods, "Ain't that the way it works, try to help someone and ya' get screwed."uh oh cowboy

RE: are you

"The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do.
-- Howard, age 8"

Every woman I've kissed romantically wanted more, so...I guess I'll do.

RE: SOME REASONS A BEER MAY BE BETTER THAN A WOMAN

Should be, My paycheck bounced. But I'm still working.frustrated

RE: SOME REASONS A BEER MAY BE BETTER THAN A WOMAN

{It's supposed to be Beer don't B...., but I was attmepting to be polite.}

All I've got is wine and vodka, no beer today.

RE: SOME REASONS A BEER MAY BE BETTER THAN A WOMAN

Forgot the #1 Reason Beer is better than women....

Preparing to hidehole

Beer don't ......uh...complain.

This is a list of forum posts created by kieyotie.

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