The Christmas Parrot

One Christmas Eve, a frenzied young man ran into a pet shop looking for an unusual Christmas gift for his wife. The shop owner suggested a parrot, named Chet, which could sing famous Christmas carols. This seemed like the perfect gift. "How do I get him to sing?" The young man asked, excitedly. "Simply hold a lighted match directly under his feet." was the shop owner's reply.

The shop owner held a lighted match under the parrot's left foot. Chet began to sing: "Jingle Bells! Jingle Bells! ..." The shop owner then held another match under the parrot's right foot. Then Chet's tune changed, and the air was filled with: " Silent Night, Holy Night..."

The young man was so impressed that he paid the shop-keeper and ran home as quickly as he could with Chet under his arm. When the wife saw her gift she was overwhelmed.

"How beautiful!" She exclaimed, "Can he talk?" "No," the young man replied, "But he can sing. Let me show you." So the young man whipped out his lighter and placed it under Chet's left foot, as the shop-keeper had shown him, and Chet crooned: "Jingle Bells! Jingle bells!..." The man then moved the lighter to Chet's right foot, and out came: "Silent Night, Holy night..."

The wife, her face filled with curiosity, then asked, "What if we hold the lighter between his legs?" The man did not know. "Let's try it," he answered, eager to please his wife. So they held the lighter between Chet's legs. Chet twisted his face, cleared his throat, and the little parrot sang out loudly like it was the performance of his life: "Chet's nuts roasting on an open fire...."

RE: what part of a man do you

PETA members ware throwing blood at me at VA beach and yelling "Fur is murder!". It was a very traumatic experience. blues

RE: I cant stand ..

Karate is very graceful... Boxing... not so much. laugh

RE: Intellectual pursuit.

How about that Housekeeping Monthly magazine from 1955? May 13 issue specifically...

Oh boy! I think I was born tad to late!

RE: I cant stand ..

any sort of conflict should be resolved swiftly and preferably without violence. beer

RE: Yes...but do you Need me...

I'm extremely needy!

If I like her there will be non stop kissing, hugging and all that stuff. smitten

but I'm independent and expect my mate to be the same. It good to relay on each other emotionally but you got to be able to survive on your own.

RE: Hello Everyone i am new to the site

cswelcome to both of you. Jump in don't be shy grin

RE: what part of a man do you

My inner jaws look much better punching through skulls.

Hiss

RE: GUYS ITS TIME TO SHOW YOU ARE THE HOTTEST

You are the sweetest and the hottest... grin

batting

*furiously looking for an exit*

long... thick and hard...

blushing laugh

long... thick and hard...

thread names give me a headache! blues

RE: single and needs a date

Pah! If I had a bike I wouldn't be here! I'd be scraping women of the back seat!

Seriously, it's cold here.

RE: The reasons we don't have a date tonight.

I'm still sick sigh

RE: Sunday drink.

I got a screwdriver! grin

I think it's flat ...

RE: Teach me Something

Bree... Bree ...abady! abady! Ima gonna kill that wabit!

RE: Teach me Something

Argentinian football player Maradona had a cocaine addiction.

RE: Where Have All the Flowers Gone.....??

I use that feature as quick message thing grin

RE: what would you do if they offered you a free trip to see the entire universe ..but could'nt guarante

I'm a space child. I was born on a same date Sputnik was launched so if I ware provided all the basic needs I'd go.

RE: Thread Manners !! Handling a thread you post ..

I've been wondering this my self. Good question beer

Usually I treat threads as conversation and expect people to participate. If there are no interest I see no reason to push the issue. I try to keep every one happy and try to respond to everyone until I loose interest my self. I don't have any special attachments to my threads but I review them ones in a while smile

RE: Snow

Love it! We need snow here! christmas happy

Miscommunication

An American goes into a bar and sits down next to an English guy.

The American notices that the English guy has a huge BIC Lighter.

The American says, "Wow cool lighter, where did you get it?"

The english guy says, "A genie granted me one wish when I rubbed this bottle".

"Wow", says the American, "Can I have a go?"

"Sure", Says the Englishman.

The american rubs the bottle and the genie comes out, "You heve weesh" Says the genie.

The American wishes for a million bucks, the genie grants the wish.

About 5 minutes later a load of ducks come into the bar, there are thousands of them.

The American says "I don't believe this I wished for a million bucks, not a million ducks".

The englishman says "Well do you really think i wished for a 12 inch BIC?".

RE: How is everyone doing this Saturday night ?

It's raining and I'm sick but I'm here! grin

God help you all devil

Cats vs Dogs

I like hawks my self grin I think it's the American in me... batting

RE: Are you a smoker?

I live in a fracking tobacco capital! What do you think? smoking

RE: What are you like when you have to meet a group of new people?

I act natural. "A light colored detour of intellectual super highway"

RE: What are you like when you have to meet a group of new people?

How about Zeloniy dude laugh

conversing Nuzhen Zholtiy dude grin

RE: delete

no one understands the words that you're typing! tongue

RE: What are you like when you have to meet a group of new people?

I'm a goof and usually give a blond first impression. peace

RE: Who's Going Out This Weekend??

aw hug

You're so sweet kiss

RE: Who's Going Out This Weekend??

I had grand plans for this weekend and they're all spoiled because I'm sick But I'm happy to have good friends smile

This is a list of forum posts created by Zeloniy.

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