Thanks for all the advice folks...though we forgot one important thing. It is called "faith". My ex doesn't take the kids to church and the kids WANT to be with me...if they said they would rather have the comforts of her home where they already spend 75% of their life then I would immediately give them to her...I have been feeding them all meals,they have a very safe place to live til July 16th when I have to give them back. I mean,this is all the time I get with them,so why give them back? I am making it...in luxury,but you know I have more than alot of working single parents have. I am going to try and go for the Oil Cleanup jobs that are available here. They pay up to $18hr. That way I can still take care of my kids. My ex IS a control freak and the law says I have the kids half the Summer so that is WHEN I have them,half the Summer. They are my responsibility and I need to live up to it. My church is the only one who has failed not offering the help they promised. God is faithful,so I just need to trust in him.
I was living with my gf for the last year. I don't have full custody now of both my kids,ages 10 and 11. Me and my gf broke up about 5days ago and my ex gf put a restraining order on me to get me and the kids out of the apt. Her name was the only one on the lease so guess who had to go. I had 20min to decide what items I was going to need. It was a hard decision I wasn't nowhere ready to make. I had a friend who let us stay there for a few days,but then told us we had to leave...I forgot to add one more bit of info...I have been unemployed for the last year due to the economy and the company I was working for let go of alot of people My unemployment ran out on April 5th,2010. I have my kids the first half of the Summer,my ex gets them the 2nd half. When this happened alot of friend suggested that I give the kids to the ex til I get more stabilized...problem is that the ex wouldn't let me see the kids if I turned them over. Unfortunately she is just like that and has always been that way despite having full custody now. I have committed to do whatever I can to keep the kids til July 16th which is the 2nd half of the Summer. So,anyway the question is what would you do,give the kids to an ex who only wants to take them from you and never give them back or be the parent you always have been and do whatever you can to take care of them...I mean it isn't like there aren't other parents out there going thru hard times and not struggling.
Hopefully Obama won't get us into anymore debt than we already have. I have to say though,he has helped ME. I care about others as well,but finally a president who has reached out his hand and pulled me up!! I lost my job a year ago and there arent any of equal pay to replace it yet. Without the extension Obama gave the unemployed,I would be on the streets homeless by now. Instead I have a job lined up and hope it starts before the last month of my unemployment goes by. Bush only gave a three month extension,Obama stepped up to help the American people and gave a 5month extension AND a raise....Thank-you man!
Well,I understand your logic. I wasnt going to go to bar and meet someone no matter what. I mean,people are online,why can't you meet someone online? It seems logical to me. I just don't think anyone should think it will happen today,tomorrow or even next month. I do think that patience is the key. If I chat with someone and they are like,"You either call me or I am not interested" and it was the 1st or 2nd email. I mean,the quicker someone wants to meet me,the more I wonder about the person. I think even for safety reasons alone,a lady ought to email a guy for a week before meeting him in person. It will happen Shirley,I just cant promise you WHEN.
I just wanted to say I met someone on another dating site and it seems to be going rather well. It really is hard meeting that right someone anywhere I think! I have enjoyed being on the singles sites,but damn it took me 4-5 yrs to finally meet someone on the internet!
Yes,I recently got into locating all my old classmates on FB and didnt know what I was getting myself into. It has kept me busy though and also given me new driving spirit. It is discouraging though to see so many classmates that have been very successful. Then there are also those who are passed now. So I fit somewhere between being successful and dead,lol.
You know the only problem that I have with women in their 40s is that they seem to have another wave of wildness in their 40s. I mean I am different than most and have young kid still in school,but the women I meet in their 40s usually are getting divorced and hitting the bars again. I know i am not speaking for all women,but only ones I have run into personally. I wish it wasnt so also. It would just be nice meeting a lady that isnt all washed up,hehe
Thanks and as soon as I get settled in a place,things will start getting better. It is amazing how many people are going through the very same thing because of this economy. I know God will use this time to reach out to others once I am back on my feet. I used to work at a place where they catered to homeless guys and even envied the homeless at times. I thought it was a freedom to be homeless,but it is more a struggle to know where you next meal is coming from. Most homeless guys wont even stay in shelters because of the fear of getting their stuff stolen. Most people wouldnt believe it,but it is true.
Your right friend. I know that this is only temporary. It just makes it hard meeting new people when all you have it bad news. Like an instructer once said. Instead of putting unemployed on a resume,put taking classes,learning new skills,etc. That way it seems more like a learning time than a lazy time.
Nice gesture LIVEEVIL if we were living in a fantasy world,but mixed marriages ARE a controversy still. I mean,there still aren't many mixed marriages in Mississippi. And yes,one could still get killed there for trying to. It is getting better,but the stigma is still a reality.
Roommate is married,his wife told him she needed some time away to work out some things. Well,two months has passed and she is now going out all the time and still hasn't made her mind up about getting back together. My roommate on the other hand constantly goes online checking her phone calls(times she is making them and numbers that she is calling),keeps and eye on her at her work with binoculars,and at bars also with binoculars to see who she is talking with. I have tried telling him that she is playing him and he is letting her. Oh,and he also got her flowers delivered to her work last week. I mean,how long does his wife need to decide on their marriage and what should he do?
Not to sterotype Dennis,but a black girl WILL tell her mind in a situation like that. I guess that is a compliment,hehe. They do take care of their man.
I have never had a problem with dating women from other races. It was so funny when I brought a mixed gf to a Presbyterian Church here in town in the early 90s. I loved the reaction I got and knew they would look down on it. I see that your from England and I know that there they are really into dating from different races. Maybe you should relate some of your experiences to us.
Needed to update this thread because I gave in and got a cell. I still think it is important to leave your cell out of the picture on a 1st time meeting. No distractions are important for getting to know a person for the first time. I know many have kids,but that 30-1hr is not very long away from a phone. Anyone that HAS to have their phones on them 24/7 isnt worth the time in my book. What did they do before they had the cell phones??
Thanks for sharing,Inthewoods...I also waited a long time before marrying thinking it would make for a better marriage. I also was devasted. The problem with marrying later is that your older when the divorce happens. Most people my age are on their 3rd or 4th marriage. I only wanted to be married ONCE. Marriage is work,but BOTH parties have to want it to make it happen. Best of luck friend and what I have found out,look up your old high school classmates on FB and connect back with them. It will give you the strength you need thru friends. Most of them are either divorced or single still!
I agree with all the posters about "time" being the answer. I never thought I would stop thinking about my ex,but each day I forgot about her more and more. It is a cruel thing to say that,"I will forget you in time",but time heals. On the other hand,if one just keeps going from person to person without LETTING time heal,each new mate will just be a old rehashed ex....therefore the "time" has to be alone for awhile.
This topic has come up many times with views on both sides...I think the kids SHOULD come first,but then if you only have your kids every other weekend,there is the..."What do I do with the remaining 12days?" I do believe though that alot of single FULL TIME parents do put their kids in the background when trying to date. Just remember dates come and go,but kids are for a lifetime!
No one wants to wait 5yrs,believe me I didnt. Funny thing is,5yrs hsa passed and I still am looking. So,even subconsciously it DOES take the 5yrs. Now,who wants to date me??
jonahstrials Forum Posts (132)
What Would You Do?
Thanks for all the advice folks...though we forgot one important thing. It is called "faith". My ex doesn't take the kids to church and the kids WANT to be with me...if they said they would rather have the comforts of her home where they already spend 75% of their life then I would immediately give them to her...I have been feeding them all meals,they have a very safe place to live til July 16th when I have to give them back. I mean,this is all the time I get with them,so why give them back? I am making it...in luxury,but you know I have more than alot of working single parents have. I am going to try and go for the Oil Cleanup jobs that are available here. They pay up to $18hr. That way I can still take care of my kids. My ex IS a control freak and the law says I have the kids half the Summer so that is WHEN I have them,half the Summer. They are my responsibility and I need to live up to it. My church is the only one who has failed not offering the help they promised. God is faithful,so I just need to trust in him.