MaianaMaiana Forum Posts (135)

This is a list of forum posts created by Maiana

RE: Everything has changed

I was a member around 8 years ago. At that time I joined CS mainly for forums. I was also single and didn't mind meeting someone. Forums were a lot of fun back then. There were a lot of Irish people and I remember having a good laugh every day. I rarely wrote anything, but I did exchange PMs with some men and they were in general pleasant and fun. However, those men were all far away - mostly from the USA, Canada and other English-speaking countries. I soon left (I met someone on some other site).

But, I remember getting a very good piece of advice on CS, something I never forgot. There was a lady from some Eastern European country (I cannot remember which one). She said that there were a lot of Western European men on dating sites who pretended that they were interested in serious relationships, but they only wanted weekend romances. It was cheap for them to travel to Eastern European countries and they considered it to be some sort of a short enjoyable holiday. She said I should be careful. I hadn't thought about that ever before (didn't even consider a long-distance relationship), but thanks to that advice, I managed to avoid many situations that could have turned very bad for me in the years that came. I don't remember who she was, but I'm going to use this opportunity to thank her if she's still around. wine

I came on CS once again in December. I was heartbroken and wanted something fun to get my mind occupied. I joined many pen-palling and similar sites and then remembered CS. I expected to have a good laugh again, practise my English and make some new virtual friends. Of course, the moment I came - I started getting messages from "weekend romance predators" laugh which disturbed me, since I had already been heartbroken and the last thing I wanted was to be someone's entertainer. There were a lot of messages from scammers, too, a lot more than before.

Forums also changed (except some members I remembered who looked just the same as 8 years ago - never changed their profile photo laugh ). Forums and blogs were not so much fun any more. A lot of people constantly fought and quarreled. A couple of days of fun and peace and then - some fight again! I exchanged some messages with people who were nice and friendly and thought I made new virtual friends. Then I started receiving other messages with some crazy conspiracy theories about my virtual friends (and other CS members). They said that people were not real, but fake profiles, that they used many profiles (male, female, young, old), that they just wanted to get someone's personal data and share them all over CS and internet, etc. etc. It did scare me - I must admit and - I stopped all my personal correspondence with all people from CS. I simply didn't know who to trust. I felt rather confused.

The internet has really changed considerably. It's not much different on other sites. There are many fake profiles and scammers everywhere and most forums are like CS - almost empty with a small number of new members (mostly people who are there for years).

My conclusion about CS today is that - it's a good place if people don't spend too much time here, if they don't get themselves involved into quarrels, fights, gossips, etc. and if people don't exchange any PMs with people from blogs and forums. It's also good to take breaks - shorter ones and longer ones. The problem is that places like CS are highly addictive and it's hard to limit your coming here and to keep the distance from all the turbulence that constantly takes place. I find CS fun for a couple of days, a week at most, then I get exhausted and have to leave.

But, what exhausts me, might be thrilling and fun for someone else. wine

RE: Say Anything

At least now I know what I can and what I cannot deal with.

Pushing your own limits is not healthy.

wave

RE: U have the right to an opinion......

This is I think the only place where I state my opinion in such a direct form. I usually don't state it at all or - even if I do - I always take care of people's feelings and atmosphere and try to be as mild and gentle as I can. But, CS brings out the monster in me. laugh

RE: Some guys are strange

Maybe they like your photos, but are too far away (or something similar) so they don't see the point in contacting you.

RE: Say Anything

Scary ones. uh oh laugh

RE: Women and men....young or older than us....

I've always felt most comfortable with men around my age. Younger men never interested me and I always see older men as some father figures and feel respect toward them. I know that age doesn't mean much, that there are mature young people and childish old people, but still - with people around my age I share a lot and I can see them as equal. smile I can be more relaxed with them. smile

RE: Say Anything

Forums are TOO addictive and I really need to take a break, because I started spending too much time here.

If I log in here again in the next 3 days - I will punish myself. professor laugh

RE: Personal messages/emails etc..

Those two sentences were just a short explanation of my long long post you were too lazy to read. laugh

RE: Personal messages/emails etc..

I don't post PMs online.

We should be able to use avatars instead of personal photos.

laugh

RE: Personal messages/emails etc..

I think that personal conversations are personal and I would never post private messages or e-mails anywhere, even if I still had them (I deleted all of them - even from my previous profiles - when I closed them down). I would also never send someone's private messages/e-mails to someone else or give my password of this site or any other to someone. The same way, I would never mention people's nicknames from CS on another site or copy and paste discussions from this site to another.

I know that people do all of that or threaten that they would. I find that rather intimidating on one hand. On the other, sometimes some people really cross the line by lying and accusing people and it can really make someone lose patience and do something otherwise wouldn't. Although I find it scary, I might understand it to a certain extent.

I personally would never exchange messages with anyone on this site any more, partly because of this problem, too. Apart from not being sure whether I exchange messages with a real profile or a fake one, I have to worry whether my messages are being read by dozens of people on this site (regardless what kind of messages they are). I know - I became too paranoid. laugh

I think that CS became too open to public. Usually people use nicknames and avatars on public forums. Even if they join a Facebook group (with their own profile) - those groups are often closed or - rather specialized. Here we have a dating site with forums and blogs where we use our own personal photos and our real personal data and often write about some very delicate and intimate matters. We have no intimacy. Anyone can copy and paste whatever we wrote here and spread it all over the internet. I started to feel uncomfortable using my own personal photo here and I wish we could use avatars for forums and blogs (if we don't want to use this site as a dating site). Yet, I feel awkward with no photo at all.

I think CS should do something to protect our privacy more.

RE: Education on Consent

I've never received such messages on this site, even when my profile was open to practically anyone, without any filters set, but I know that they do happen.

It's always important to keep in mind that sites like this one are open to ANYONE. Anyone can make a profile and send messages all over the place. This includes teenagers who have nothing better to do or all sorts of weird people, maybe even perverts.

There's nothing to be done about it, but - block and delete. The same you do with scammers.

RE: Current Thoughts (Cont)~~

I came to the phase where things started constantly to repeat themselves over and over again. I don't like it at all.

But - what else? dunno

It's so hard for me to make a firm decision, I'm constantly in some "meantime" - not in the past any more, not sure about the future. So I just go round and round in circles...

I always hate these "intermezzo" phases in life.

blues

RE: Humanitarian help needed

Open: post comment. Then right click with the mouse. Check: Check Spelling. smile

RE: Say Anything

I either become more and more sensitive as I'm getting older, or I got used to more vanilla sites and this is one sometimes gets a little too hardcore for me. laugh

I think I should take a break for a few days. smile

RE: So... Nobody on this Cs Forum can think for themselves - All Sheep.....

The last time I was here Lookin told me that everyone on CS thought that I was foolish for always speaking my mind and saying what I really thought.

It made me think a lot...

Was I really foolish? Should I have pretended? Should I have told what (someone, but who? dunno ) expected me to say. And why? In order to be more liked (again, by whom? dunno )? In order to feel more like I belong to CS (but I felt that already being myself dunno ) or some CS group, if there is such a thing at all (but I don't like belonging to groups, I'm a very individualistic person dunno )?

Still, it made me think...

Maybe I should have put an effort to make some nice virtual persona. But why? What would I get from that? Ego boost? But, for me - virtual ego boost means nothing any more - for a long time! It is not real. It's all an illusion... Even when I join discussions, I merely talk, express my opinion, read what other people think... I don't care if people agree or disagree. I don't want to win an argument, since there's nothing to win. We are all different people who live in different personal worlds...

moping

RE: If I Could Read Your Mind,What Would I Read!

I had the opposite experiences, too. smile

I liked some people much more in real life than virtually. smile

RE: Make Up

I sometimes think that the sensitivity and allergies get worse as we age. blues

RE: If I Could Read Your Mind,What Would I Read!

This happened to me with some people from some other forums I met in real life. uh oh I preferred their forum persona and felt very bad about it. laugh

That's hard to explain in any human language. professor laugh

Now seriously...

People are multidimensional and what we show here is just one part of us, usually reflects how we feel at the very moment and is far from the complete picture.

On the internet I often joined serious discussions about various subjects, yet I never talk about them in real life. Even when I met the people from those same discussion boards in person - we talked about our everyday lives, had fun, laughed... We never mentioned anything about spirituality or philosophy or psychology or religion or any similar topic we actually discussed online sometimes every single day for months! laugh

I remember once being told here on blogs by one person who read some of my posts: "You are such a serious person!" and I thought how it could really seem so and that maybe if I read some of my posts as someone else - I would think the same. laugh

Written words are so different from the spoken ones and it's so easy to misinterpret them. I personally think that all members of CS are just ordinary people in real life. I suppose that I could find something to talk about with anyone - at least for a half an hour. However, this will never happen. We are so far away. So, it's better not to make assumptions of people. After all - all members here make this place the way it is. Whoever writes here is a part of this community and when (s)he's gone - people feel it. Even if that person is otherwise found annoying or boring - it's still one piece that creates the whole picture. smile

RE: If I Could Read Your Mind,What Would I Read!

You would read that I often feel like an alien on this planet. laugh

Especially today. laugh

RE: Make Up

Most of the time I don't wear anything else but a lip gloss (sometimes accompanied with mascara). I do wear it when I go out in the evening, attend some event, etc. But I never wear it for too long. I remove it the moment I come back home. I have a sensitive skin prone to allergies, so I try not to irritate it too much. On my profile photo I wear makeup, but this is the most I would ever wear. So, most of the time I am without makeup actually and constantly look at the real me in the mirror. laugh

RE: Which is your favourite?

I hope it is going to be fun. smile

RE: Imagine:- U go to sleep.....and wake up in a different place......How did it happen......

I was always there. This life was only just a dream.

By the way, this reminds me of a sentence in one Japanese textbook. Sometimes they really use bizarre examples to explain various grammar structures. One of those sentences goes something like this:

"Imagine - one day you wake up and - you've turned into a bug."

laugh

RE: Forums vs. blogs,.....

Thank you. flirty

I always feel like a guest on blogs. Sometimes even - like an intruder. I've never felt like that on forums.

I think that blogs are pretty closed community.

RE: Which is your favourite?

wow

I would never do such a thing!

But I did collect my late cat's fallen whiskers while she was alive. They were long, black and beautiful. heart1

RE: Whats new on CS?

They added "like" and "dislike" option - probably in order to make even more tension on the forums - as if there isn't enough already...

This is a list of forum posts created by Maiana.

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