And yet you made a point of saying it... Indians do a lot more than run convenience stores in this country, SkyBoy. My doctor is an Indian man, and my favorite college professor is also. Now HIM, I would date... He's a Christian and a brilliant man...
You got THAT right! You have to be so careful about where some of these posts come from, although today I think I got one from New York, then claiming to be right here in Ohio, very adamantly desiring my im information.... NOT!
I think they do, but there are good reasons, not to 'judge', but to be cautious. I probably wouldn't date an Indian man until I knew his religion, for instance. Culture is very important to people. I doubt if a Mexican guy would want to date me cause I'm very independent, and in that culture the women are very submissive, stay-at-home people. You have to take some thing into consideration. It's not so much about 'judging', but about understanding, learning, finding out if cultures are compatible.
I don't really like the word 'sucks'. I mean, it keeps getting used in a negative context. "That sucks!" Why to men keep saying it like it's a BAD thing???
I wholeheartedly agree with that! It's not just a gender issue though, Vulpine, cause I have the exact same problem with men. See my pic, decide I'm not worth the trouble, UNREAD DELETED! Are you KIDDING ME!!!??? That's just rude. I answer EVERY letter. (So feel free to write me sometime...)
So, what you're saying is that you would feel appreciated if you were more involved in the everyday decisions involving the home, like furniture, decorations, and stuff like that. Is that right?
Let's just say that some people are very honest and I have been enlightened, and others have been quirky and I have laughed, and others have been just plain... Well, you know.
I'm sorry, Luvr, I think you misunderstood my meaning.
The Love Languages Book suggests that there are five basic ways in which people feel loved:
1) Acts of Service; 2) Words of Affirmation; 3) Physical Touch; 4) Quality Time; 5) Gifts
We all like all of these things, but we each feel especially loved in one or two specific categories. Without fully understanding that all people feel differently, we might try to love others using the 'Golden Rule' theory of doing to others what you like done to you. So, if you like Acts of Service, you might try to love others by doing things for them. BUT, if their language is gifts, then all your work is meaningless. Even though I'm trying to love you the best way I think I can, you would not feel is as love act.
Is that clearer? I'm not explaining it very well, am I?
Actually, in some areas, the 'Golden Rule' tactic doesn't always work. The Five Love Languages book talks about how people feel loved in different ways. My love language is acts of service. Doing things for me is a total turn on! Make the bed, shovel the driveway, make dinner, fold the laundry, BABY, TAKE ME HOME!! But other people don't feel the same way. Sounds like you prefer words of affirmation, so you need to be told you are loved, you are appreciated, you are worthy. If you do that to me, I'll say, yeah right, whatever. BUT, take out the trash, and WATCH OUT! We need to find out what our partner's love language is and start speaking it.
Well, Blue, I'll tell you what: I started this thread to learn about men. I would hope that men would want to learn about me too. The things you're talking about women wanting you to 'change' might be things you would choose to do on your own, if you took the time to learn about me. I like a guy to dress nice when we're out together, it makes me feel special, like I'm important enough for him to make a special effort.
It's no fun if I'm the only one learning what's important to you. Men and women need to become experts on each other, and start doing the things on each other's lists because they want to please each other.
Agreed! That's why I started this thread. There must be some way to communicate without ticking each other off. Better to do it like this, I think, than to try to do it in the middle of a relationship that is going bad. That's my thinking anyway.
Oh, Honey, there's a tank, and if I was in Seattle, I'd find your tank, I'd repair and I'd find out to fill it. There's more to you thank meets the eye, Conan. Your bitter, but your honest, and there's a lot to be said for that.
LadyPhoenix1965 Forum Posts (1,047)
Super cute, Shanny! 
RE: do people ????
And yet you made a point of saying it... Indians do a lot more than run convenience stores in this country, SkyBoy. My doctor is an Indian man, and my favorite college professor is also. Now HIM, I would date... He's a Christian and a brilliant man...