xjennxox Poetry (50)

please..dont act like you care..
dont attempt to be my light
don't try to make all my pain go away..
don't try to tell me everything will be alright..
don't tell me to stay alive a little longer..
don't say what im doing to myself is stupid
don't pretend you've been where i am
you'll never understand..
no one will....
im alone in this world..
nobody to stand beside me..
nobody to share my pain and distress with
no true place to call home
no reason to be here
you didn't think anything would be this imperfect
were lost
we spend all our lives searching for ways to feel
ways to feel alive...
our heart beat isn't enough...
sometimes it requires self inflicted pain....

Down to buisness just like stone
Right away on some road
It been a long time cause you're old
and love's always true or so I've been told

She's been a fool most of her life
trying to get men to brake
but they've been as clear as a lake
they've had ideas that stretch forever

sometimes loneliness shows
it glows many a time
when you know you're right
cause you know you see a light

but you're crazy if you mess with powers at be
you're a fool if you mess with the wise
you're a smart fool if you think twice
and love's always true or so I've been told

yeah love's always true I've been told
sometime's it's always been fake
It always makes you climb up a wall
It's like you never loved at all

Love's always true
Like the wings of a dove
Like forces that shove
nothin's come undone

I used to close my eyes and see
everything around me.
All the swirling colors dancing in unison.

Now all I hear is the rain.
It's soft beginnings printed
in God's schematic.

I used to close my eyes and dream,
that I could touch you in
the breaking of dawn.

But my sheets are empty,
my hands, translucent.

Now I tilt my head back against
the wall underneath my window;
listening to the whir of traffic
and poet's nonsense below.

And the sidewalks are cold.
They moan with the weight
of humanity's woes.

And the trees whisper.
Their talk is of rapture.
Of budding saplings and
fairy tale lovers.

I close my eyes and dream again.

I miss you
by ~jojojohnson

I miss your touch
I miss your eyes
I miss your smile
I miss your hand entertwined with mine
I miss secretly meeting up at the mall
I miss our secret place in the trees
I miss your face
I miss your voice
I miss your humor
I miss your laugh
I miss your hand in my back pocket
I miss you having to hide me from your parents
I miss our slow lingering kisses
I miss the way you wrapped your arms around my neck
I miss the way you laied next to me
I miss the way You sat in my lap
I miss the way you giggled when I nibbled on your ear
I miss the way we wisspered I love you into eachothers ear
I miss the way we would cry together
I miss our inside jokes
I miss your tickle spot on the left sid of your stomach
I miss the way you would warp your arms around me
I miss the way you would pin me down to the ground and listen yo my heart beat
(oh, and I also miss that jacket that i never got back
but one thing I dont miss, Is that look on your face when I borded the plane to texas </3
I miss you <3

push this pen into my veins
till my thoughts become ink
exhaling what i think
this is my outlet
my way to speak

my mind suffers from insomnia
thoughts of manufactured happiness
self inflicted pain
dance to the beat of the drum through my brain
and as i stomp unwanted feelings
so far into the earth
that i swear the devil felt
every tear that never melt
down my contorted face

my hearts always been yours to take
but when you look into my eyes
you swore to see a ghost

so i'll disguise myself with this dagger
you've already pulled the trigger
now take all you can
take everything
cause im more vulnerable than i've ever been

i'll show you what it's like to hurt
cause fear is all i feel
the antidote sucked into a needle
shot straight to the vein
pick the scab
watch it bleed
forgetting how to heal

strip me of my safety
leave me out to dry
and as saltwater burns all open wounds
i'll dream of you my dear

will this downfall come in grace?

My sweet and my darling is this how it ends?,
A mistake I once made in your eyes makes me condemed?,
Is everything we had now lost?,
If it is my love I will pay anything what is the cost?,
I accepted all of who you are and I still do,
Because of a single mistake am I marked?,
Nothing at all to you?,
If you put me through pain,
Put me in a situation where I couldn't win,
I'd forgive you no matter what, no matter the sin,
Im not asking you to trust me with all your heart,
love me till death,
to promise to never part,
I just want to prove them and I aren't the same,
My heart carries scars carries shame but I learn from my mistakes,
And I have the resolve to change

I will make it through the rain, I will get there on my own, knowing that in the end I'll still stay strong
We're living in a world where people will look down at you
for apologizing and admitting your mistakes;
they want you to feed your burden with only more guilt;
more than you can handle.
Because, the truth is,
your weakness feeds their ego.
As your weakness feeds their ego,
all you hear from them is laughter because you're the one
who takes it all.
No matter what, you're always the one to be blamed on;
you are always the one to feel that shame you never caused.
As everyday goes by, you force yourself to wear a mask on your face
to show those people that, you are ok
but everyone can see through that mask;
your eyes show loneliness.
Loneliness fills their ego too,
so in the end you feel like your thoughts and emotions are not
benefiting you but they most certainly feed your enemies.
We are living in a world where there will be friends who do stick by you,
and help you recover from some deep scars of the past,
however,
there are times when your whole world turns black and white,
then you see their true colours.
Your mind then tells you
"this can't be right;
why am I alone when I need their help?
why is it that I'm calling them and they just don't look back to help me?
why do they always give me 'the hand' and say
'I'm busy', when, I have that feeling in my heart telling me, it's a lie?
You then can't help but fall down on your knees helpless as
though your burdens have made you physically fall,
when you know the reality is that,
all those problems are in your head,
how can they make you physically fall?
After that fall, you then get a little 'twitch' inside of you;
that twitch makes you rise your face and feel that sting in your heart.
That twitch is reality telling you painfully;
"this person really isn't your friend"
as that lesson hits you in your heart,
it also makes you get up and walk your journey alone.
The truth is, once something has been let go of,
it's God chance to give you something new.
This is when reality awakens you.

You may have been my first love,
but you shall not certainly be my last.

Darling pretty please will you come out?
Pretty please?
Just stop hiding and come out and face the world.
Even if the real world is to much for you darling.
I be there by your side to help you throughout it.
You just new to relearn on how to walk on your own feet again.
Once you do then you can defend the evils that come after you
like a ninja.
So pretty please darling would you come out of your dark, cold,
lonely hideout?
Ditch it for something much more brighter?
Would you darling come out and face the world with me again?

Sit alone and don't know why
"Little one, why do you cry?"
I feel an empty inside of me
I envy those who are flying free

"What chains you have around your heart."
I hope these chains tear me apart
"Why do you seek sweet Death, my dear?"
He is the only one I know is here

Songs have faded far away
There is no more to bring the day
I fall upon an angel's chest
Silently I'm laid to rest

As I lay me down to sleep
I cry within the angel's keep
I pray that Death my soul will take
"You will sing the world awake."

"You'll dance along the Sun and Moon,
You'll run with Fox and fly with Loon.
You will make your every day.
Do not fret your gifts away."

I sit alone in this dark room,
Waiting for it to become my tomb.
As soon as i get the nerve,
This blade will truley serve,
Its devine purpose.
As the crimson blood spills,
My pain, which it kills,
Will be forever gone.

You can break my heart into pieces
And destroy my feelings
But...

You can't break or hurt my soul.
I have grown depressed I see you
I tried to not show you my feelings cause

I'm not worth being your love.
I shouldn't meet you.
I have grown more pain in my poor heart.

Just...

Leave me alone....