April Fools

April Fools jokes are fun to pull
I did two songs from the movie Step Brothers with Will Ferrell
Billy Joel's Keeping the Faith, and The Longest Time
Which are sung in the movie by a group called Uptown Girl Claps from my friend and the DJ, and nothing, nada from the audience
I did one at a company meeting a few years ago
The manager said does anyone have any questions
I said, I parked my car illegally, only because the guy in front of me did too
How many times can I do that before something bad happens
She said Three
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Posted: Apr 5
About this poem:
April Fools was this past Monday, most of the time I don't pull any jokes on people, just afraid of the payback I guess.
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Egg Dye

I bought some egg dye from Dollar Tree
Two worked, the other three didn't
I went to Piggly Wiggly and bought some pink, blue, and green dye
I didn't have any yellow food coloring that worked, but I wanted pink
So I got some pink eggs for a change
I tried wearing a rubber glove and put drops of food coloring on the egg
Then just moving the egg around in my hand
Then wipe off the excess food coloring with paper towels
That worked well
If you have trouble getting the eggs to peel, try this
Get your water boiling (13 minutes)
Put your eggs into the boiling water(13 minutes)
Put eggs in pan under cold running water(2 minutes)
Drain off some of the hot water till some of eggs are showing
Then add ice cubes and let eggs soak(25 minutes)
Dry on paper towels( 15 minutes each side)
Easy to peel eggs!
Happy Easter!
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Posted: Mar 29
About this poem:
I just found out about the easy peel eggs cooking method about two years ago on a youtube clip.
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A Kind of Stop Watch

In the Twilight Zone there is an episode called
A Kind of Stop Watch
This guy gets a stop watch which can stop time
He ends up breaking the watch when he robs a bank
Then he is stuck forever with no one to talk to
I think that if you get a majic stop watch
You should press it before you leave home so it stays safe
If you can't part with it then put it in a cushioned case
I do so with my cell phone
What makes this episode one of my favorite is the character
He desperately wants to be a good communicator
But instead is the biggest bore on Earth driving everyone crazy
Including his boss who fires him
If you haven't checked out this series from the late 50's to early 60's
You should, it has a lot of great episodes
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Posted: Mar 9
About this poem:
This episode is from Season 5
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Texas Roadhouse

This place is packed!
People waiting outside in the cold
People waiting inside stacked
This overcrowding is getting old!
Then my name is called out
I got a table
It's hard to hear as the people shout
I hope my waiter is able
We get the chicken fried steak
Cinnamon butter roll
Seems someone made a mistake
Taking home peanuts and more rolls was my goal
Seems the waiter is too busy with many other tables to serve
I play my trivia game and electronic golf on the table device
I just didn't have the nerve
I should have asked for more than rice
So I'll go home
Next week I'll be back
To Texas Roadhouse I will roam
To get the cheesy fries and the big ol' brownie I lack
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Posted: Jan 28
About this poem:
Using 50 dollars of gift cards, so the meal was free, next week I'll have seven dollars to put towards the next bill.
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Red Robin

Sharing an appetizer and a desert with a friend
Cheesy Mozzarella Twists and Cinnamon Sugar Doh Rings
And a wish the Packers would have a good end
Where is the sugar on the donuts, should have gotten Saucy Bone-In Wings
Playing trivia and pool on the electronic device on the table
Having a Coke because there was no Mello Yello
I would have gone to a movie instead if I was able
Stuffed in like sardines next to a lonely older fellow
Got a replacement for the sugarless donuts
No extra charge for the new ones from our waiter guy
They still had about half the sugar I wanted, which was nuts
Next time I'll order the Mountain High Mud Pie!
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Posted: Jan 21
About this poem:
Red Robin is a good resturant, just got unlucky with the donuts, and the Packers later that night.
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The Best Christmas Gift

I've received many Christmas gifts through the years
Stretch Armstrong, Evil Kenievel motorcyle are memories of happy tears
Toss Across, Light Bright, Lawn Darts, Battleship, and a tape recorder
A weight bench and a stereo with record player, 8-track, tape were in order
A majic set, metal ball space game, a dart gun
Having someone to play with all these things would have been more fun
If I had a wish now is the time with someone to play with all these things
Because the best Christmas gifts is a friend and the joy it brings
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Posted: Dec 15
About this poem:
I have three days off till Monday, then four hours of work and another 14 days off, maybe I'll get lucky and have someone to play games with during the day, that would be nice!
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At this time of year I like to watch Christmas movies and TV shows
ALF has two that are great
One is his first Christmas where he and Willie get stranded
They are trying to cut down a Christmas tree and ALF wants to see snow
The second one is ALF gets in the back of a van looking at toys
He goes to a hospital and poses as a stuffed doll for a sick girl named Tiffany
He ends up being her friend and stopping a man from jumping off a bridge
ALF was my favorite show from 1986 to 1990 and I have all on DVD
ALF's real name is Gordon Shumway
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Posted: Nov 25
About this poem:
I have been watching Chirstmas shows and movies since November 1. I watched Planes Trains and Automobiles first for Thanksgiving.
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Quotes from Horror Movies

Be afraid, be very afraid (The Fly 1986)
I want to go back(Cube Zero)
I just can't take no pleasure in killing(Texas Chainsaw Massacre 1974)
You want to know what happens to an eye ball when it gets punctured(Hitcher)
Whatever you do, don't fall asleep(Nightmare on Elm Street)
You're doomed, you're all doomed(Friday the 13th)
It's Halloween, everyone's entitled to one good scare(Halloween 1978)
What an excellent day for an exorcism(the Exorcist 1973)
I am eternal, I am the eater of worlds and children(IT 1990)
Hi, I'm Chucky, wanna play?(Child's Play 1988)
We have such sights to show you(Hellraiser 1987)
Join us!(Evil Dead 1981)
Sometimes dead is better(Pet Sematary 1989)
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Posted: Oct 21
About this poem:
I've seen all of these many times, when there is a movie with more than one release, I gave the original date, the original Hitcher was released in 1986. I would have watched it, but Netflix discontinued their dvds through the mail, something I have had since 2011.
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My dad was in the Navy
He went to Italy and Iceland
He served from 1954 to 1958
He didn't like Iceland because it was so dark part of the year
He regretted not staying in
Especially when his company cancelled his retirement pension in 1981
At the time he made his decision he was making good money
Better than he got paid in the Navy
How was he supposed to know the unions would get creamed
He is not alone
Sadly, many veterans don't get the support they should have
I hope that could change
Maybe next year
We will elect a president who really cares about these people
As much as they care about all of us
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Posted: Nov 12
About this poem:
I will be voting third party because I don't see either party supporting our veterans with the respect they deserve.
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Injuries while carving pumpkins

2012- cut my finger using a straight knife to try and carve a pumpkin
on Halloween night because I didn't have my saws with me
2018- injured my foot by banging it into a chair after a phone call from my nephew
who wanted his son to have a football team logo, they got Homer instead
that injury lasted for two months and caused me to have foot nip at a
Packers football game because I couldn't wear boots
2023- cut my finger after a phone call from my nephew in jail wanting me to
send him money, I didn't answer it, but it upset me and distracted me long
enough to cut my finger carving Tiffany, from the movie Bride of Chucky
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Posted: Oct 29
About this poem:
I spent almost five hours carving pumpkins today, the website for the patterns is zombiepumpkins.com, for five dollars, you get 20 patterns, they have a lot of really good patterns, tomorrow I'm carving Darth Vader and King Kong. Happy Halloween everybody!
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Solutions to the Migrant Problem

Here are some solutions to the migrant problem are easy you see
Just make the place they left from where they want to be
Make it a place of good wages and violence free
A place where everyone lives in glee
Make the weather nice and the governments nice too
Everyone helping each other making some great stew
You bring the onions, I'll bring the beef
And we'll have a great feast with green grass beneath
So the people will live in warmth where they don't have to freeze
And the health of them is good so they don't have to sneeze
So the problem is easy, don't cha know
Just make Mexico and the rest where they want to go
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Posted: Oct 7
About this poem:
It would be nice too if these companies south of the Rio Grande River would pay good wages too.
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Drive Thru

Mello Yello Pop
Burger King Drive Thru Waiting
Twenty Minutes Long
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Posted: Sep 30
About this poem:
Another haiku, I used to work fast food from 10/88 - 1/93, and I never had to work the drive thru.
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This is a list of daradloff's Poems. Click here for daradloff's Poem List

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