{A Commitment called Marriage}

Random Thoughts........"Does Marriage Help You To Grow As A Person?"

Answer:----- The answer is 'yes' and 'no'
Surveying the contemporary marriage scenerio, I can say with authority that by and large, marriage does not help a person to grow as an individual. At least, this is true in an Indian Household. There may be some stray examples here and there of a succesful marriage, where the couple display their talents in a free society, but on the whole, marriages in India have failed to bring happiness and help the individual's growth as a person.

Three important issues are to be in focus here.......MONEY, NATURE & RELATIONSHIP
Money is only artificial happiness, but it seems to work in a marriage. Money is solving about 70% of the problems between the couple. A female donkey is known as a mare; and we have heard the popular quote..."Money Makes The Mare Go Round" Most couples argue, disagree and fight, because of lack of money. House bills being not paid on time, children's school bills being not paid on time,
entertainment not given a top priority are some of the top 'hot' spots where excessive heat gets generated. These get solved instantly by the power of money.
But the couple need no worry. Next in line is NATURE. If you are having a sound head on your shoulders, you have nothing to fear. You can be happy, if you are having a beautiful mind. What is a beautiful mind? Well, a beautiful mind is a mind of abundance, not of money but of thoughts, attitude and a general nature of well being. Such a mind is possible by training yourself to think in a particular way. What's that?

Well, you have to look at the drama in this way. You very well know that you are not a beggar. You might be in any small, medium or large business, or you might be in service earning sufficiently to maintain yourself and your family. Start thinking how much you are 'having' instead of how much you 'do not have'. Make a list with 2 columns. After completing the list, you will mostly observe that a column containing 'have' list is more than the 'have not' list. Suddenly your mind will have refreshing feeling of abundance. If you go on thinking in this way, you will develop an attitude and a nature which seems to fill up the cracks in the troubled marriage. And then, slowly and slowly, you will rub off this nature amongst your family members. Now, you have won half the battle; the other half will be won in due course of time.

Lastly, the Relationship factor is only a by product of Money & Nature. The biggest factor working in a loving relationship is a term callled 'Accepting & Agreeing' This is very difficult as well as very easy. Imagine 2 persons are discussing a simple topic as........."What Looks Good On A Lady: Maxi or Sari.There is needless discusion and nobody wins an argument.
If you consider this type of discussion, it has no ending. But the couple will end upi in a fight of no consequence. The solution lies wherein one of the couple willingly and geniunely with love accepts the viewpoint and says 'Yes' And this is how the relationships develops between the couple. You can do such magic by destroying your ego and accept the other's point of view. If you go on accepting the other's point of view, a time will come when your opposite partner will also start accepting even your 'silly' points. This is the fast track to good relationship. This will also result in each person growing in creativity as an individual. You will be astonished at the amount of 'creative stock' that will be unleashed between the couple. The couple will begin to feel more confident, more loving and a whole lot of understanding will suddenly dawn on the couple. This will bring nothing but more and more happiness in the lives of the couple.
So, it is possible to grow as an individual in a tricky relationship called "MARRIAGe"
Manohar Bhatia.