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Solace
My present job is my fourth this year. Been there since May. I like the place since it's just near an old Shinto shrine with a pond full of gold fish of various hues and big black group of fish. I find the place rejuvenating esp after work. There is that feeling of peace, solitude, abundance in nature, of trees, cones, and birds. It's the place where I can pray shutting my eyes. One thing which I can't do in my home country. For the moment you pray and close your eyes inside the churches, chances are, your purse would "leave" your bag. I just notice that there are plenty of trees in shrines. Almost always when you see a mini forest, there's a shrine in it. While in my home country, if you see a church esp Catholic church, there are always tiny huts selling a variety of goods resembling a market place. What a sad place of worship has become of the churches of my youth! Hoping I'd stay longer here if only for that nook of solace! Happy weekend everyone!
Hi all!! Maybe the video here will help many under
Although Kim is speaking of a one on one relationship this video works as well for our resident narc. The more you feed the beast the better the beast enjoys it. I pray for her and the narcs that I've know. It's not their fault, their soul has been compromised.
https://letmereach.com/2016/10/13/things-narcissists-dont-want-you-to-know/
I realise it's very hard to understand if you've never had the 1 on 1 contact with a narc, but it's as real as..wait let me think of a comparable ...Trump and Hillary.....both with compromised souls....
It's a ten minute video (from a narc's perspective) that will be invaluable to all of you in your lives...
No empaths or enablers needed
https://letmereach.com/2016/10/13/things-narcissists-dont-want-you-to-know/
I realise it's very hard to understand if you've never had the 1 on 1 contact with a narc, but it's as real as..wait let me think of a comparable ...Trump and Hillary.....both with compromised souls....
It's a ten minute video (from a narc's perspective) that will be invaluable to all of you in your lives...
No empaths or enablers needed
~~ SELF EDUCATION ~~
Man is born as a seed. He is born as a potentiality,he is not born as an actuality. And this is very special,this is extraordinary,because in the whole of existence only the human being is born as a potentiality; ever other animal is born actual. A dog is born as a dog, he will remain the same his whole life. The lion is born as a lion. Man is not born as a human being, man is born only as a seed: he May flower,he may not. Man has a future; no other animal has a future. All animals are born instinctively perfect. Man is the only imperfect animal; hence growth, evolution, is possible.
Education is a bridge between the potentiality and the actuality. Education is to help you to become that which you are only in a seed form. And this is what I am doing here; this is a place of education.The thing that is being done in the ordinary schools and colleges and universities is not education. It only prepares you to get a job, a good earning; it is not real education. It does not give you life.Maybe it can give you a better standard of living, but the better standard of living is not a better standard of life; they are not synonymous.
The so-called education that goes on in the world prepares you only to earn bread. And Jesus says " Man cannot live by bread alone " And that's what your universities have been doing - they prepare you to earn bread in a better way, in an easier way, in a more comfortable way,with less effort, with less hardship. It is a very primitive kids of education: it does not prepare you for life.
Hence you see so many robots walking around.They are perfect as clerks, as stationmasters, as deputy collectors. They are perfect, they are skillful , but if you look deep down in them they are just beggars and nothing else. They have not even tasted one bite of life. They have not known what life is, what love is,what light is . They have not known anything of godliness, they have not tasted anything of existence, they don't know how to sing and how dance and how to celebrate.They don't know the grammar of life; They are utterly stupid. Yes , they earn - they earn more than others, they are very skillful and they go on rising higher and higher on the ladder of success - but deep down they remain empty,poor.
Education is to give you inner richness. It is not just to make you more informed; that is a very primitive idea of education. I call it primitive because it is rooted in fear,rooted in the idea that " If I am not well educated I will not be able to survive " I call it primitive because deep down it is violent: it teaches you competition, it makes you ambitious. It is nothing but a preparation for a cutthroat, competitive world where everybody is the enemy of everybody else. Hence the world has become a madhouse. Love cannot happen. How can love happen in such a violent, ambitious, competitive world where everybody is at each other's throats ? This is very primitive, It takes life only as a struggle. My vision of education is that life should not be taken as a struggle for survival; life should be taken as a celebration.
Education is a bridge between the potentiality and the actuality. Education is to help you to become that which you are only in a seed form. And this is what I am doing here; this is a place of education.The thing that is being done in the ordinary schools and colleges and universities is not education. It only prepares you to get a job, a good earning; it is not real education. It does not give you life.Maybe it can give you a better standard of living, but the better standard of living is not a better standard of life; they are not synonymous.
The so-called education that goes on in the world prepares you only to earn bread. And Jesus says " Man cannot live by bread alone " And that's what your universities have been doing - they prepare you to earn bread in a better way, in an easier way, in a more comfortable way,with less effort, with less hardship. It is a very primitive kids of education: it does not prepare you for life.
Hence you see so many robots walking around.They are perfect as clerks, as stationmasters, as deputy collectors. They are perfect, they are skillful , but if you look deep down in them they are just beggars and nothing else. They have not even tasted one bite of life. They have not known what life is, what love is,what light is . They have not known anything of godliness, they have not tasted anything of existence, they don't know how to sing and how dance and how to celebrate.They don't know the grammar of life; They are utterly stupid. Yes , they earn - they earn more than others, they are very skillful and they go on rising higher and higher on the ladder of success - but deep down they remain empty,poor.
Education is to give you inner richness. It is not just to make you more informed; that is a very primitive idea of education. I call it primitive because it is rooted in fear,rooted in the idea that " If I am not well educated I will not be able to survive " I call it primitive because deep down it is violent: it teaches you competition, it makes you ambitious. It is nothing but a preparation for a cutthroat, competitive world where everybody is the enemy of everybody else. Hence the world has become a madhouse. Love cannot happen. How can love happen in such a violent, ambitious, competitive world where everybody is at each other's throats ? This is very primitive, It takes life only as a struggle. My vision of education is that life should not be taken as a struggle for survival; life should be taken as a celebration.
Should Catholic Church Change Its Church Doctrine
It must be understood that there is no where in the Bible, which contains the written word of God, wherein God forbids a spiritual leader or servant, man or woman from getting married. This is only the doctrine and teachings of the Catholic church who forbids its spiritual leaders popes, nuns and priests from marrying. This is NOT a teaching of the Scriptures in the Bible.
The Bible teaches that a man and a woman should marry if they are unable to contain themselves s*xually. All of the disciples/apostles of Jesus were married therefore, I have no idea where the Catholic church gets the idea that it is forbidden. But then, the Catholic church has many teachings and doctrines that are not based on what God teaches and/or are not written in the Bible, but are church doctrines.
QUESTIONS:
1. Should the Catholic church change its doctrinal teachings to fit what God has spoken in His written word about marriage being between a man and a woman, or should the Catholic church go along with the teachings and beliefs of the world to allow gay marriages between the priests and nuns, in order to be political correct?
2. Since gay marriages and relationships are forbidden by GOD, and is not what God approves of in the church... Should straight priests and nuns be allowed to get married to each other or have outside relationships (male and female) to prevent so much molestation and gay relationships going on in the Catholic church?
After reading article below WHAT SAY YOU?
Pope Francis 'Saddened' 2 Lesbian Nuns Marry Believing Their Love Is 'Gift of God'
BY STOYAN ZAIMOV , CHRISTIAN POST REPORTER
October 11, 2016|7:59 am
Vatican leader Pope Francis was reportedly saddened by news of two former Roman Catholic nuns who married each other, calling their love a "gift of God."
"What sadness on the face of the pope when I read him the news of the two 'nun' brides," reads an English translation of a Tweet sent out by Vatican Undersecretary of State, Archbishop Angelo Becciu, according to Breitbart News.
The brides in question were only identified by the names Federica and Isabel in a report by the Italian daily La Repubblica, in which they also characterize their love as a "gift of God" that "no one can prevent."
The former nuns, who are both in their 40s, tied the knot in a civil union in Turin at the end of September. Reports added that the nuns met during a missionary trip to Guinea Bissau, and were seemingly encouraged to move forward in their relationship by the words of Francis himself, who once said "Who am I to judge?" about a gay person who wants to be a Catholic.
The former nuns added that they wanted to "leave the religious life and begin a path of freedom and faith lived with serenity, without scandal, beneath the merciful gaze of God."
"You can advise [gay people] to pray, show goodwill, show them the way, and accompany them along it," the pontiff explained at the time.
"The Church does not exist to condemn people, but to bring about an encounter with the visceral love of God's mercy."
In another interview on the subject matter earlier in October, Francis argued that Jesus Christ would not turn away a person just because he or she is gay.
"But each case must be welcomed, accompanied, studied, discerned and integrated. When a person (who is gay) arrives before Jesus, Jesus certainly will not say, 'Go away because you are homosexual,'" the Roman Catholic Church leader said.
Francis also said that he recognizes there are people who struggle with gender identity, but that is different from "indoctrinating people in gender theory" by teaching it in schools, he warned.
Edited for posting ... Read more
The Bible teaches that a man and a woman should marry if they are unable to contain themselves s*xually. All of the disciples/apostles of Jesus were married therefore, I have no idea where the Catholic church gets the idea that it is forbidden. But then, the Catholic church has many teachings and doctrines that are not based on what God teaches and/or are not written in the Bible, but are church doctrines.
QUESTIONS:
1. Should the Catholic church change its doctrinal teachings to fit what God has spoken in His written word about marriage being between a man and a woman, or should the Catholic church go along with the teachings and beliefs of the world to allow gay marriages between the priests and nuns, in order to be political correct?
2. Since gay marriages and relationships are forbidden by GOD, and is not what God approves of in the church... Should straight priests and nuns be allowed to get married to each other or have outside relationships (male and female) to prevent so much molestation and gay relationships going on in the Catholic church?
After reading article below WHAT SAY YOU?
Pope Francis 'Saddened' 2 Lesbian Nuns Marry Believing Their Love Is 'Gift of God'
BY STOYAN ZAIMOV , CHRISTIAN POST REPORTER
October 11, 2016|7:59 am
Vatican leader Pope Francis was reportedly saddened by news of two former Roman Catholic nuns who married each other, calling their love a "gift of God."
"What sadness on the face of the pope when I read him the news of the two 'nun' brides," reads an English translation of a Tweet sent out by Vatican Undersecretary of State, Archbishop Angelo Becciu, according to Breitbart News.
The brides in question were only identified by the names Federica and Isabel in a report by the Italian daily La Repubblica, in which they also characterize their love as a "gift of God" that "no one can prevent."
The former nuns, who are both in their 40s, tied the knot in a civil union in Turin at the end of September. Reports added that the nuns met during a missionary trip to Guinea Bissau, and were seemingly encouraged to move forward in their relationship by the words of Francis himself, who once said "Who am I to judge?" about a gay person who wants to be a Catholic.
The former nuns added that they wanted to "leave the religious life and begin a path of freedom and faith lived with serenity, without scandal, beneath the merciful gaze of God."
"You can advise [gay people] to pray, show goodwill, show them the way, and accompany them along it," the pontiff explained at the time.
"The Church does not exist to condemn people, but to bring about an encounter with the visceral love of God's mercy."
In another interview on the subject matter earlier in October, Francis argued that Jesus Christ would not turn away a person just because he or she is gay.
"But each case must be welcomed, accompanied, studied, discerned and integrated. When a person (who is gay) arrives before Jesus, Jesus certainly will not say, 'Go away because you are homosexual,'" the Roman Catholic Church leader said.
Francis also said that he recognizes there are people who struggle with gender identity, but that is different from "indoctrinating people in gender theory" by teaching it in schools, he warned.
Edited for posting ... Read more
Most Misunderstood Phenomenon
“Death is the most misunderstood phenomenon. People have thought of death as the end of life. That is the first, basic misunderstanding.
“Death is not the end, but the beginning of a new life. Yes, it is an end of something that is already dead. It is also a crescendo of what we call life, although very few know what life is. They live, but they live in such ignorance that they never encounter their own life. And it is impossible for these people to know their own death, because death is the ultimate experience of this life, and the beginning experience of another. Death is the door between two lives; one is left behind, one is waiting ahead.
“There is nothing ugly about death; but man, out of his fear, has made even the word, death ugly and unutterable. People don’t like to talk about it. They won’t even listen to the word death.
“The fear has reasons. The fear arises because it is always somebody else who dies. You always see death from the outside, and death is an experience of the innermost being. It is just like watching love from the outside. You may watch for years, but you will not come to know anything of what love is. You may come to know the manifestations of love, but not love itself. We know the same about death. Just the manifestations on the surface – the breathing has stopped, the heart has stopped, the man as he used to talk and walk is no more there: just a corpse is lying there instead of a living body.
“These are only outer symptoms. Death is the transfer of the soul from one body to another body, or in cases when a man is fully awakened, from one body to the body of the whole universe. It is a great journey, but you cannot know it from the outside. From outside, only symptoms are available; and those symptoms have made people afraid.
“Death is not the end, but the beginning of a new life. Yes, it is an end of something that is already dead. It is also a crescendo of what we call life, although very few know what life is. They live, but they live in such ignorance that they never encounter their own life. And it is impossible for these people to know their own death, because death is the ultimate experience of this life, and the beginning experience of another. Death is the door between two lives; one is left behind, one is waiting ahead.
“There is nothing ugly about death; but man, out of his fear, has made even the word, death ugly and unutterable. People don’t like to talk about it. They won’t even listen to the word death.
“The fear has reasons. The fear arises because it is always somebody else who dies. You always see death from the outside, and death is an experience of the innermost being. It is just like watching love from the outside. You may watch for years, but you will not come to know anything of what love is. You may come to know the manifestations of love, but not love itself. We know the same about death. Just the manifestations on the surface – the breathing has stopped, the heart has stopped, the man as he used to talk and walk is no more there: just a corpse is lying there instead of a living body.
“These are only outer symptoms. Death is the transfer of the soul from one body to another body, or in cases when a man is fully awakened, from one body to the body of the whole universe. It is a great journey, but you cannot know it from the outside. From outside, only symptoms are available; and those symptoms have made people afraid.
~~ FEAR OF DEATH ~~
One man came to me and he said, "I am very much afraid of death." He had cancer, and death was very near; any day it could happen. And he could not postpone it. He knew it was going to happen. Within months it would be there, or even within weeks.
He was really physically, literally, trembling, and he said, "Just give me one thing: how can I get rid of this fear of death? Give me some mantra, or something which can protect me and give me courage to face death. I don't want to die trembling in fear." The man said, "I have been to many saints. Many things they have given—they were very kind. Someone has given me a mantra, someone has given me some sacred ashes, someone has given me his picture, someone has given something else, but nothing helps. Everything is in vain. Now I have come to you as the last resort. Now I will not go to anyone anymore. Give me something."
So I told him, "Still you are not aware. Why are you asking for something?—just to get rid of fear? Nothing will help. I cannot give you anything; otherwise, as others have proved failures, I will also prove a failure. And they gave you something because they don't know what they are doing. I can say only one thing to you: Accept it. Tremble if trembling is there—what to do? Death is there, and you feel a trembling, so tremble. Don't reject it, don't suppress it. Don't try to be brave. There is no need. Death is there. It is natural. Be afraid totally."
He said, "What are you saying? You have not given me anything. Rather, on the contrary, you say to accept."
I said, "Yes, you accept. You just go and die peacefully with total acceptance."
After three or four days he came again, and said, "It works. I couldn't sleep for so many days, but for these four days I slept deeply, because it is right, you are right." He said to me, "You are right. Fear is there, death is there, nothing can be done. All the mantras are just hocus-pocus; nothing can be done."
No doctor can help, no saint can help. Death is there, a fact, and you are trembling. It is just natural. A storm comes and the whole tree trembles. It never goes to any saint to ask how not to tremble when a storm is passing by. It never goes for a mantra to change it, to protect it. It trembles. It is natural; it is so.
And the man said, "But a miracle has happened. Now I am not so afraid." If you accept, fear starts disappearing. If you reject, resist, fight, you give energy to fear. That man died peacefully, unafraid, fearless, because he could accept fear. Accept fear and it disappears.
He was really physically, literally, trembling, and he said, "Just give me one thing: how can I get rid of this fear of death? Give me some mantra, or something which can protect me and give me courage to face death. I don't want to die trembling in fear." The man said, "I have been to many saints. Many things they have given—they were very kind. Someone has given me a mantra, someone has given me some sacred ashes, someone has given me his picture, someone has given something else, but nothing helps. Everything is in vain. Now I have come to you as the last resort. Now I will not go to anyone anymore. Give me something."
So I told him, "Still you are not aware. Why are you asking for something?—just to get rid of fear? Nothing will help. I cannot give you anything; otherwise, as others have proved failures, I will also prove a failure. And they gave you something because they don't know what they are doing. I can say only one thing to you: Accept it. Tremble if trembling is there—what to do? Death is there, and you feel a trembling, so tremble. Don't reject it, don't suppress it. Don't try to be brave. There is no need. Death is there. It is natural. Be afraid totally."
He said, "What are you saying? You have not given me anything. Rather, on the contrary, you say to accept."
I said, "Yes, you accept. You just go and die peacefully with total acceptance."
After three or four days he came again, and said, "It works. I couldn't sleep for so many days, but for these four days I slept deeply, because it is right, you are right." He said to me, "You are right. Fear is there, death is there, nothing can be done. All the mantras are just hocus-pocus; nothing can be done."
No doctor can help, no saint can help. Death is there, a fact, and you are trembling. It is just natural. A storm comes and the whole tree trembles. It never goes to any saint to ask how not to tremble when a storm is passing by. It never goes for a mantra to change it, to protect it. It trembles. It is natural; it is so.
And the man said, "But a miracle has happened. Now I am not so afraid." If you accept, fear starts disappearing. If you reject, resist, fight, you give energy to fear. That man died peacefully, unafraid, fearless, because he could accept fear. Accept fear and it disappears.
~~ GOD IS NOT A PERSON ~~last
He recognizes the heartbeat of the universe. He recognizes that the universe is not dead, it is alive. This aliveness is God! The unenlightened person is asleep, asleep and full of dreams. Those dreams function as a barrier; they don’t allow him to see the truth of his own reality. And, of course, when you are not even aware of your own reality, how can you be aware of the reality of others? The first experience has to happen within you.
Once you have seen the light within you will be able to see it everywhere. God has to be freed from all concepts of personality. Personality is a prison. God has to be freed from any particular form; only then he can have all the forms. He has to be freed from any particular name so that all the names become his.
Then a person LIVES in prayer – he does not pray, he does not go to the temple, to the church. Wherever he sits he is prayerful, whatsoever he is doing is prayerful, and in that prayerfulness he creates his temple. He is always moving with his temple surrounding him. Wherever he sits the place becomes sacred, whatsoever he touches becomes gold. If he is silent then his silence is golden; if he speaks then his song is golden. If he is alone his aloneness is divine; if he relates then his relating is divine.
The basic, the most fundamental thing is to be aware of your own innermost core, because that is the secret of the whole existence. That’s where the Upanishads are tremendously important. They don’t talk about a God, they talk about godliness. They don t bother about prayer. their whole emphasis is on meditation.
Meditation has two parts: the beginning and the end. The beginning is called dhyana and the end is called samadhi. Dhyana is the seed, samadhi is the flowering. Dhyana means becoming aware of all workings of your mind, all the layers of your mind – your memories, your desires, your thoughts, dreams – becoming aware of all that goes on inside you.
Dhyana is awareness, and samadhi is when the awareness has become so deep, so profound, so total that it is like a fire and it consumes the whole mind and all its functionings. It consumes thoughts, desires, ambitions, hopes, dreams. It consumes the whole stuff the mind is full of. Samadhi is the state when awareness is there, but there is nothing to be aware inside you; the witness is there, but there is nothing to be witnessed.
Begin with dhyana, with meditation, and end in samadhi, in ecstasy, and you will know what God is. It is not a hypothesis, it is an experience. You have to LIVE it – that is the only way to know it.
Once you have seen the light within you will be able to see it everywhere. God has to be freed from all concepts of personality. Personality is a prison. God has to be freed from any particular form; only then he can have all the forms. He has to be freed from any particular name so that all the names become his.
Then a person LIVES in prayer – he does not pray, he does not go to the temple, to the church. Wherever he sits he is prayerful, whatsoever he is doing is prayerful, and in that prayerfulness he creates his temple. He is always moving with his temple surrounding him. Wherever he sits the place becomes sacred, whatsoever he touches becomes gold. If he is silent then his silence is golden; if he speaks then his song is golden. If he is alone his aloneness is divine; if he relates then his relating is divine.
The basic, the most fundamental thing is to be aware of your own innermost core, because that is the secret of the whole existence. That’s where the Upanishads are tremendously important. They don’t talk about a God, they talk about godliness. They don t bother about prayer. their whole emphasis is on meditation.
Meditation has two parts: the beginning and the end. The beginning is called dhyana and the end is called samadhi. Dhyana is the seed, samadhi is the flowering. Dhyana means becoming aware of all workings of your mind, all the layers of your mind – your memories, your desires, your thoughts, dreams – becoming aware of all that goes on inside you.
Dhyana is awareness, and samadhi is when the awareness has become so deep, so profound, so total that it is like a fire and it consumes the whole mind and all its functionings. It consumes thoughts, desires, ambitions, hopes, dreams. It consumes the whole stuff the mind is full of. Samadhi is the state when awareness is there, but there is nothing to be aware inside you; the witness is there, but there is nothing to be witnessed.
Begin with dhyana, with meditation, and end in samadhi, in ecstasy, and you will know what God is. It is not a hypothesis, it is an experience. You have to LIVE it – that is the only way to know it.
No, I'm not a section 8!
People, we live in a world of shit - some more than most. I watched 'Full Metal Jacket' again yesterday - excellent movie by Stanley Kubrick. Maybe like me you're also glad to be alive and in one piece, and (mostly) unafraid. So, if you feel the same sing along:
Who's the leader of the club
That's made for you and me
M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U-S-E
Hey! there, Hi! there, Ho! there
You're as welcome as can be
M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U-S-E
Mickey Mouse!
Mickey Mouse!
Forever let us hold our banner
High! High! High! High!
Come along and sing a song
And join the jamboree!
M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U-S-E
Mickey Mouse club
We'll have fun
We'll be new faces
High! High! High! High!
We'll do things and
We'll go places
All around the world
We'll go marching
Who's the leader of the club
That's made for you and me
M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U-S-E
Hey! there, Hi! there, Ho! there
You're as welcome as can be
M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U-S-E
Mickey Mouse!
Mickey Mouse!
Forever let us hold our banner
High! High! High! High!
Come along and sing a song
And join the jamboree!
M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U-S-E
Who's the leader of the club
That's made for you and me
M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U-S-E
Hey! there, Hi! there, Ho! there
You're as welcome as can be
M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U-S-E
Mickey Mouse!
Mickey Mouse!
Forever let us hold our banner
High! High! High! High!
Come along and sing a song
And join the jamboree!
M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U-S-E
Mickey Mouse club
We'll have fun
We'll be new faces
High! High! High! High!
We'll do things and
We'll go places
All around the world
We'll go marching
Who's the leader of the club
That's made for you and me
M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U-S-E
Hey! there, Hi! there, Ho! there
You're as welcome as can be
M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U-S-E
Mickey Mouse!
Mickey Mouse!
Forever let us hold our banner
High! High! High! High!
Come along and sing a song
And join the jamboree!
M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U-S-E
~~ The reality of life..marriage ?
"Marriage is a love-hate affair, an attraction-repulsion affair."
Man cannot be without the woman, and the woman cannot be without the man.
They are part of one dialectical process.
Between these two poles there is both attraction and repulsion, because attraction and repulsion cannot be separated.
Hence you feel attracted towards the woman or towards the man and repulsed at the same time.
A part of you wants to be with the woman, a part of you wants to be alone.
You are always hesitating.
If you are with the woman or with the man, you start longing for the freedom to be on your own, to be alone.
Suddenly you become very interested in being alone and free, and you don’t know where this desire to be free is coming from.
The woman or the man, the other, is provoking it.
The moment you have left the other, this desire, this longing, this great longing to be alone will disappear.
And then you are surprised, really surprised. When you are alone you simply feel lonely.
You don’t feel that joy that you had contemplated, you don’t see any freedom;
you simply see loneliness surrounding you. And your whole existence becomes cold, frozen, dark.
Again the desire arises to be with the other. Now you hanker for love, for togetherness.
This is the problem between man and woman. They are attracted and repulsed together,simultaneously.
They want to come to be together and they want to be separate and alone, on their own.
Hence the constant conflict between man and woman.
Marriage is a love-hate affair, an attraction-repulsion affair.
If the marriage lasts long, it can only last if there are mini-divorces happening every day – only then can it last long.
If the man and the woman have decided not to fight, then it is a plastic marriage.
They will be together, they will manage to be together, but they will never be together in reality; they will never know those moments of unity.
They Are only pretending. They are being polite, but not true, not authentic.
Marriage is a kind of intimate enmity.
It is an intimate enmity, it is a friendly fight, it is a war.
Yes,between two wars there are peaceful moments too, and they are beautiful because of the two wars.
Couples go on fighting – that’s how they keep alive the flame of love.
Once they fight, they go away from each other. When they are far away from each other, in their psychologies, they start hankering for the other, they start missing the other.
Then they start seeking and groping for the other. Then They come close, and very close, because they have tasted something of loneliness.
Now they want to be very close. Once they have tasted of closeness they want to be separate again.
So don’t be worried about it.
It is a fundamental phenomenon.
You cannot escape it.
The only way to escape is to have a pretend marriage, which is not a true marriage.
’Remain polite to each other.’
It is a kind of contract, that ’I need you and you need me,’ that ’I will scratch your back and you scratch my back’ – that’s all – ’because I need you and you need me.
You are my security, I will be your security.’ It is a legal contract but not marriage.
Man cannot be without the woman, and the woman cannot be without the man.
They are part of one dialectical process.
Between these two poles there is both attraction and repulsion, because attraction and repulsion cannot be separated.
Hence you feel attracted towards the woman or towards the man and repulsed at the same time.
A part of you wants to be with the woman, a part of you wants to be alone.
You are always hesitating.
If you are with the woman or with the man, you start longing for the freedom to be on your own, to be alone.
Suddenly you become very interested in being alone and free, and you don’t know where this desire to be free is coming from.
The woman or the man, the other, is provoking it.
The moment you have left the other, this desire, this longing, this great longing to be alone will disappear.
And then you are surprised, really surprised. When you are alone you simply feel lonely.
You don’t feel that joy that you had contemplated, you don’t see any freedom;
you simply see loneliness surrounding you. And your whole existence becomes cold, frozen, dark.
Again the desire arises to be with the other. Now you hanker for love, for togetherness.
This is the problem between man and woman. They are attracted and repulsed together,simultaneously.
They want to come to be together and they want to be separate and alone, on their own.
Hence the constant conflict between man and woman.
Marriage is a love-hate affair, an attraction-repulsion affair.
If the marriage lasts long, it can only last if there are mini-divorces happening every day – only then can it last long.
If the man and the woman have decided not to fight, then it is a plastic marriage.
They will be together, they will manage to be together, but they will never be together in reality; they will never know those moments of unity.
They Are only pretending. They are being polite, but not true, not authentic.
Marriage is a kind of intimate enmity.
It is an intimate enmity, it is a friendly fight, it is a war.
Yes,between two wars there are peaceful moments too, and they are beautiful because of the two wars.
Couples go on fighting – that’s how they keep alive the flame of love.
Once they fight, they go away from each other. When they are far away from each other, in their psychologies, they start hankering for the other, they start missing the other.
Then they start seeking and groping for the other. Then They come close, and very close, because they have tasted something of loneliness.
Now they want to be very close. Once they have tasted of closeness they want to be separate again.
So don’t be worried about it.
It is a fundamental phenomenon.
You cannot escape it.
The only way to escape is to have a pretend marriage, which is not a true marriage.
’Remain polite to each other.’
It is a kind of contract, that ’I need you and you need me,’ that ’I will scratch your back and you scratch my back’ – that’s all – ’because I need you and you need me.
You are my security, I will be your security.’ It is a legal contract but not marriage.
~~ WHO YOU ARE ?~~
“Nobody can say anything about you. Whatsoever people say is about themselves. But you become very shaky, because you are still clinging to a false center. That false center depends on others, so you are always looking to what people are saying about you. And you are always following other people, you are always trying to satisfy them. You are always trying to be respectable, you are always trying to decorate your ego. This is suicidal. Rather than being disturbed by what others say, you should start looking inside yourself…
Whenever you are self-conscious you are simply showing that you are not conscious of the self at all. You don’t know who you are. If you had known, then there would have been no problem— then you are not seeking opinions. Then you are not worried what others say about you— it is irrelevant!
When you are self-conscious you are in trouble. When you are self-conscious you are really showing symptoms that you don’t know who you are. Your very self-consciousness indicates that you have not come home yet.”
Whenever you are self-conscious you are simply showing that you are not conscious of the self at all. You don’t know who you are. If you had known, then there would have been no problem— then you are not seeking opinions. Then you are not worried what others say about you— it is irrelevant!
When you are self-conscious you are in trouble. When you are self-conscious you are really showing symptoms that you don’t know who you are. Your very self-consciousness indicates that you have not come home yet.”
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