I've been back to the hospital this week for some check ups in preparation of the big surgery on december 27th. Turns out i've lost 16 kg in just a month time si guess i've been pretty fanatic.. Today will be another step.. I'm giving up smoking. I have desided not to it to drastic I just smoke when i wake up and after eating and i think i'll have another one just before i go to sleep tonight. It's going pretty good so far.. Just gotta keep reminding myself I don't want one.. I usually just smoke out of habbit especially when i'm on the laptop.. But anyway i've cut down from about 40 a day to just 5 today. I feel tired but that will go better with the days passing by i'm sure.
I have been reading some blogs that made me feel as if i wanted to go somewhere... So i think i might start making some plans for a big trip for next summer.. But where can i go???
I'm pretty openminded when it comes to destinations.. Just don't give me anything in europe.. thats no holiday for me since i have been to all those countries to much for work. Don't wanna do the states either.. I'll safe that one for when i'm 60 and then i'll do the route 66 with a motor.
But other then that all sugestions are welcome and please tell me whats so special about the place.
I heard a song today.. it took me way back... whatever happened to me?
where is the old me?
It's friday night, i am sitting at home behind a computerscreen being bored as hell.
No way that i would have done this a year ago. Staying home in the weekends is something i would only do if i'm in a serious relation. When i'm single i would be out clubbing, if i was younger i was always out. A part of me still wants to do that, just hanging out with friends listen to music, drinking some beers, flirting with some girls... You get the idea.
Who am I supposed to go drinking with?
Half of the guys i used to hang out with is either dead or in jail.. the other half grew up. Oh I know i can step into any pub i want in a 100 km radius and at least someone inside would know me... I could drink with them. Refreshing some old memories.
Would be fun.. nah not fun.. entertainment. What would fun be? what is fun for me today?
Its hard to describe, i haven't had real fun for quite some time now. My life is running on automatic pilot.. I do what i gotta do.. and i wait... I wait for better times to come again.
I really want to share my life with someone again.. I'm ready for it. I know i could get a date without a problem.. I could even get relations without problems.. but not with the kind of girl i'm looking for.. I don't even know where i can find those kind. All I know is where the partygirls are.. you know the kind that only care about how they look, where the next party is, ....
How about a descent girl? The kind that actually has a brain, has an opinion, the one that isn't afraid to work, someone that can be nice to everyone, someone that loves to cuddle under a blanket while watching a movie, the kind that holds me when i cry, the one that supports me no matter what. Someone that i would support, someone i could believe in, someone honnest, someone who has what it takes to controle me.. to make me behave myself, the girl that can make me love her so much that i would do anything for her. I have no idea.. maybe she will read this.. so to her i want to say.. I miss you.
Just received an email from my boss... I'm getting a new truck.. woohoo.. It was about time. I'm really looking forward to it.
I'll put up some pics next monday...
So many things are going on in my life right now.. and i don't have a clue what to make of it.
You all know about the surgery i have planned for later this year.. starting to get nerveous for that one.
My ex girlfriend -the one i was with for over 8 years- called me.. telling me she and her husband came close to breaking up a few weeks ago.. why does she tell me that?? I don't want her back.
the girlfriend i had after that one is telling allot of my friends she misses me.. she leaves clues all over facebook .. songs that she knows i love and that had a special meaning for us.. But she doesn't contact me straight away.. why not? why only tell my friends?
Then a girl i met here.. we've gotten along wonderfull.. mailed eachother anytime we could.. she didn't reply for a few days now.. she's been around i've seen her.. whats so hard in dropping a line back?.. is she playing? don't think so.. so whats up then?
and i have still so much to organise.. got a party sheduled for december.. gotta make arrangments for the month i'll be recovering from the surgery.. still need to contact a few guys to get some big works done on my house..
I really need to go shopping.. i need some new printer.. need a new camera.. i need some new music.. some movies.. can't forget about that.. pfff
saterday i have the time.. but can't f*ing drive my car since i ain't got my liscence back untill next week.
hopefully tomorrow will be a quiet day.. maybe i can find the time to think about all of this.. maybe clear up a few things.
Goodnight all
I've heard some wise words from ariel.. and i noticed who else has been reading them so let's see what happens.
How about some relaxing music to set the tone..
It's been quite a day today.. I would like to apologise to all bloggers for what has happened. But i'm sure most of you will understand my reasons. I believe neither one of us would like to become a victim like me.. Afterall who would not stand up if being accused like i have been. I do wish things will find a rest now and that this person will stop her attacks upon me. I won't request an apology.. I just hopes she will grow a brain and will respect all of us and stay away from my future blogs.
I would also like to thank the ones who mailed me in private to support me. It is much appreciated. Best wishes to all.
My previous blog was removed. So It made things very clear to me all of a sudden.. All i can conclude from that is that allot of people are just here for entertainment. They rather spend time talking with fake people then to be honnest about and to themselves. I however don't work that way. If i see things that are wrong I react. If i notice lies, I react. But appearently some people rather live in a fake world to escape their loneliness and will report any blog that is exposing the truth. Therefor I will let you all live in your fantasy world. I won't be reacting to those things again. Don't come crying afterwards because you've been folled and hurt by those people. I won't have sympathy for you then.
So far the serious things. How about some music???
Some of my favourite Belgian talents..
Have you ever stared into the eyes of eternity,
And wondered what your life ment?
What it is that you are doing here,
on this planet we call earth?
And did the stars answer you,
Or did the wind blow away your question?
My question was left unanswered.
And my life was marked meaningless.
But I hold good hopes for the future...
For every night the stars return,
and with them so does my question.
And the possibility at a response.
I try and i try.. but i simply can't..Why is it so damn hard for me to feel anything nice for stupid people. Why don't they just die? whats their use??? Proof them wrong numerous times and still they fail to admit their mistakes. Proof them wrong numerous times and still they try and use the same false statements. Nothing more stupid then keep on defending your case if it has been clearly proven how wrong you are. Pathetic. At least have some honour, have some selfrespect and admit you made a mistake. Oh well whats the use.. They'll never change.. Guess i'll must learn harder to ignore them.
Hope they don't give me nightmares again.. Goodnight all
Only 5pm here.. been to the hospital this morning.. had some test done in preparation for my surgery (hopefully in december).. spend an entire 5 hours there. Came home.. went to the police station .. and i am now finally asked to turn in my driversliscense .. for 12 days .. punishment for an accident i had in january 2011 and the cases was in court in february 2012.
How fast our justice system works.
It's sunday evening at my place.. The weekend is reaching its end. Now I know some will disagree with me on this.. But really isn't it wonderfull??? Tomorrow another monday.. a fresh start to another 5 days of working.. working hard for to little pay. How wonderfull is it to sweat beyond belief just so your boss could buy another bigger car.
Isn't it just wonderfull?? Oh how i love mondays.. No more useless sitting at home.. No more useless hanging out with friends in pubs.. No more useless sleeping untill late in the afternoon. No not for another 5 days.. Finally waking up in the middle of the night.. drinking coffee just to stay awake.. Running and suffering in the cold.. just because its your job.
Oh yes i love mondays.
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