I was sent this on F/B so it is a cut and past.....
Let me know if I am offending anyone or breaking any rules
A pig's o*gasm lasts 30 minutes. (O.M.G.!!!) A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death. (Creepy. I'm still not over the pig.) The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off. (Honey, I'm home . What the...?) The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping
the length of a football field. (30 minutes. Lucky pig! Can you imagine?) The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds. (What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?) Some lions mate over 50 times a day. (I still can't believe that pig ...quality over quantity.) Butterflies taste with their feet. (Something I always wanted to know.) Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump. (Okay, so that would be a good thing.) A cat's urine glows under a black light. (I wonder how much the government paid to figure that out.) An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain. (I know some people like that.) Starfish have no brains. (I know some people like that, too.) Polar bears are left-handed. (Talk about a southpaw.) Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure. (What about that pig? Do the dolphins know about the pig?) Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread these crazy facts. (and gotta love that pig)!!!
Weddings cost a fortune in any country...
So if you get married again would you
1.... Have all the bells and whistles
2.... A privet small wedding
3.... Go to a magistrate office and use money for honeymoon
This is for fun.....
To avoid a date with a widower who had two young daughters, I set him up with a customer of mine that had also sadly lost her husband and had two daughters....
Now I am told by both parties that they are in love..... and that marriage has even been spoken about......
Geeee I am good...... or am I?
Their first date was one week ago...... yip last Saturday
Both of them are well educated (intelligent) people.....
I am all for LUST at first sight.... hell I’ve have met people that make my hand sweat.... my hart race faster, have lost the ability to speak coherently and hormones do back flips ...... Even then I waited a lot .....LOT..... longer than a week.....
I would like to wish them all the best..... but 1 week
Is is normal.....Have I been out of the loop to long??
Touch, Hearing, Sight, Taste and Smell....
If you had to give up one for the perfect romantic night ever...
Which one would it be?
Why?
This is just for fun....
That is what happened to me last night....
A friend and her hubby were coming back from a movie last night about 10:30 could have been later..
popped in for coffee, followed by two friend and somehow another two cars arrived still trying to figure out just HOW this all happened....
My friend and her hubby left after about 30min.... leaving me with six total strangers
Me being me
whipped up some finger food that I always make and freeze... one of the strangers (well I did know their names by this point) had a 2l bottle of Old Brown Sherry or OB’s is a drink well known to all South Africans... This alcoholic beverage kicks like a mule on steroids, which only seem to be felt the next day...
Blankest dragged outside... small fire going and the electricity goes off...in the still of the night we started chatting about Connecting Singles and blog land and bloggers.... and my blog five senses.. I was amazed at the thought that went into both questions and answers... Real life bloggers....
At about 3am I sent everyone home... One asked for my recipe for my onion rings. I sent it to him this morning.... I went for an afternoon walk and came back to find all ingredients needed to make onion rings and 4l of OB’s.....
I get the feeling this will happen again .....
Taking Virtual blogging into Reality...
Sometime being a South African is just the best.....
2 women 4 men + me......I know what your thinking
Wake up everyone
don't wast it.....
do something out of character
Hug a stranger...
Tell a stranger they look nice..
Send a flower to a CS stranger....
JUST DO SOMETHING
If you were to win a week away which would you choose
A .. a week camping under the stars....camp fire......
B .. a week at a 5 star hotel in the middle of a town....
And just for fun which one do you think I would do?????
In zoos you have sign posts
DON'T FEED THE ANIMALS....
What about sign posts that are so
Like... Don't give alcohol to alcoholics
I have to share this will you all...
SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbour.
COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and gives you some milk.
FASCISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk.
NAZISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and shoots you.
BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away.
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.
SURREALISM
You have two giraffes.
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.
ROYAL BANK OF SCOTLAND VENTURE CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.
The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.
The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more.
You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States , leaving you with nine cows.
No balance sheet provided with the release.
The public then buys your bull.
A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.
A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'Cowkimon' and market it worldwide.
A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.
A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 2 cows.
You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.
A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.
A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.
You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.
AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.
A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.
AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none.
No-one believes you, so they bomb the crap out of you and invade your country.
You still have no cows, but at least you are now a Democracy.
AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good.
You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.
A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows.
The one on the left looks very attractive.
Lets face it no one is having sex or having a romantic date if they are here......
We can bi*ch about it or get over it........
So lets go over blogs or bloggers that have made us smile....
I would like to thank Robert for his blogs and point out what a true gentleman he is.....
The fear of death won't stop you dying..it only stops you living
Today I did not smile and I did not laugh.
I did not look for things to be happy about or even sad about.
Today is the first day that I have wasted.
Sad to think people wast their lives because they have never taken the happiness inside of themselves out of the box, instead try and use other peoples happiness to make themselves happy...
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