brunetteteen18 Blog

Whats His Problem?

Really? i cant understand it myself, either he is a complete and utter twat or somethin's behind his madness, yeah im on about my ex once again, sit tight if you want to hear the story..If not your excused to go back and do what you we're doing

Okay, so recently my ex has been pestering me to meet him, and to be honest id rather cut out my own reproductive organs and set fire to them rather than see him again, i know alots changed feeling wise towards him because before i wanted him back and i was really miserable without him and now i look at him and think he's a right bellend!.

Well, whats changed my feelings?, well my current boyfriend was one of the reasons as we've been together for 5 months, 6 in September and he's awesome. But the second reason is he never respects my choices and always seems to land of my doorstep uninvited, even when i tell him no i dont want to see him, yes i have told him a thousand times before, the only reason im still having something to do with him because i offered him my friendship when we broke up, but now im definitely starting to regret that choice. He thinks he can turn up, even when i tell him no i dont want to!, and now he thinks im avoiding him!, ya' don't say, whatever gave you that idea (sarcasm is funny haha). I just dont understand how he can have a girlfriend in another region and still be around to piss me off she must not see him that much, or even not at all!..I know it takes like years to get to Wales from where we live but, i guess im butting out of his life, he should really do the same but oh no.

Anyway, sorry about the rant..But its better than half the essays i usually write that go on for half a page anywho's..thanks for reading.

Much Love

- Brunetteteen18

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Aug 2010
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Stop thinking about it!

My minds in over drive. Over stupid things, all that ever swirls around in my head are problems!.

Okay, so in March i managed to pull myself a date and it was kinda good, we got on pretty well and had quite a bit in common, but now im just not sure if he's right for me, he's 3 years my junior. Im nearly 21 and he's gonna be 24 next month and im so paranoid about what my parents will say, as they want me to have a good looking boyfriend and what not, their the typical shallow, old fashioned folks and it annoys me..Ohh its so complicated.

And then my ex is still chasing me and wants to see me soon, and to be honest i just want to be free of him but still talk to him as a friend, he does admit he still misses me and it messes with my mind even more, he has a girlfriend and thats what annoys me i guess!..How can anyone love someone who's like the otherside of the region or in a different one full stop?..From what ive learned long distance relationships just dont work and yet he's been with her forever..Arghh!!. lol! ..I dunno, my tempers just everywhere thesedays, so ive lied to him and told him and said i was on holiday, but i dont think i can keep him on that lie for very long. But the question is..Can a relationship reheal itself from like a year ago?

I just wish i was one of those people who could find a perfectly handsome boyfriend, who was thoughtful, kind, funny and polite with no hitches whatsoever, and keep them for many years. But unfortunately my life lacks such luck i guess, i have so many problems with the male race..Its like you find someone you have feelings for and their either never returned or their never after anything more serious!..Ahh, its torture!!

What do you do here if your not interested in someone?, part of me feels bad for being rejectful of everyone who messages as half the time their too old, or just not my type..I feel awful just saying 'no thanks'..Or 'your not my type'..There must be a more subtler way of saying eww lol or no thanks?

Anyway, im boring everyone now so ill stop it and shut up about my problem filled life.

- Brunetteteen18

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Apr 2010
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I feel your pain.

Boy, dont i feel terrible right now.

So, you remember how my friend was going out with the guy i kinda liked, well it seemed their no longer an item, i went to check my facebook and there it was clear as day, and to be honest my heart just sank. Maybe im becoming more sensitive to how people may be feeling ..Or just the fact that the both of them we're my closest friends and i generally do feel sorry for the both of them

I feel so sorry for him though, he seemed to taken with her and loved her child like it was his own and from what i gather she just ended the relationship over facebook out of the blue without even consulting him, so that just makes me feel really sorry basically. And that just send me on a massive downer..I guess theres not much else i can do but to remain neutral in all of this and try and be a good friend i guess

But, leaving the downer aside because i know how depressing it can be to the readers having to read all that shite about other peoples relationships ending and what not, I seem to have found myself a date. We're meeting on Friday after i finish college, he's 23, well 24 in May but hell, what does age matter thesedays?. Hoping things turn out for the best between us, but if they dont then oh well, no loss..Guess im being optimistic about this whole dating thing thesedays..It looks more attractive than a pessmist petra on the other end i guess (Yeah thats what i call negetive lasses thesedays, or Pessmist pete for blokes haha).

Anyway, i sense im getting boring now so i think ill leave everyone alone :)

- Brunetteteen18

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Mar 2010
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Standing people up and stuff (Rant!!)

Honestly, im bloody livid right now, and this is only from yesterday

Okay, so i thought finally yesterday would be the end of the single road for me. I got talking to someone on my msn contact list ive known for a while, and he seemed cool and he wanted to meet me this weekend so i went ahead and cancelled my plans to meet friends and stuff, i added him to my facebook and read some stuff that yeah, maybe compromised my eagerness, from what i read he had a child not that i have anything against guys my age with kids i just look at it as a negetive point, and obviously he wasn't over his past girlfriend as they had this massive conversation going on one of his status' which consists of 'i love you, come back to me' and 'f*ck off' (from the lass) lol! ..But i thought id hear out his side of the story before i passed judgement.

Okay, so Saturday comes. I was on time at the meeting place, it came to quarter to 3 and so he was 15 minutes last as we'd arranged to meet at half 2, i waited patiently thinking maybe the bus was late or somethin', and then finally at half 4 i gave up waiting. After all this eagerness he came with he stands me up..

And then i just think, hey why waste my time on a guy who's obviously chasing other woman and has a kid from another lass..It comes across to me like he cant keep it in his trousers and he's a bit of a player, so its no big deal, but if he'd of been a potential i suppose i would of been a lot more pissed than i am now, which i think ive calmed down a lot.

Anyway, without boring people further about my disasters. I shall leave you all alone =)

Thanks for reading :)

- Brunetteteen18

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Mar 2010
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Happy for you. Not!.

I know the answer to this will be pretty simple, its none of your business and you should be happy for them, but hear me out.

Okay, so again im ranting and i know i shouldn't and i know people get bored of this crap but i really do need to let it out good and proper this time!.

So, one of my good friends has just revealed to me she has a boyfriend and i was delighted for her as guys always gave her a hard time as she has a baby and shes 19, id say the delighted feeling lasted like a few seconds before she reveealed who her boyfriend was on facebook, and then the bitterness set in.

So i discover who her boyfriend was, and her guy and me went to college like 2/3 years ago and ive pretty much liked him since then, and i know people are gonna be like 'oh so you should of moved faster' and to be honest id dropped several hints and he gave me the come on several times unless it was a joke or whatever and his cousin was in the same class as me at the time and always told me he'd ask after me and how he'd never shut up about me and now look whats come of it, he's now porking my best mate and again im feeling bitter.

I just find it so frustrating that i liked that guy for god knows how long, i mean what has he possibly got in common with my friend..They dont even like the same music, and usually he'd show how much he approved of girls in their teens with kids and yet he's going out with one....It really is enough to send anyone stark raving mad!!.

And to top it all off, they've been seeing each other for 1 month. And i know it was probably none of my business then but i thought all good friends told each other everything, the amount of times i told her about my side of things, and now she does this to me..Hence the sarcastic title..Happy for you, not..

So all im doing now is putting a brave face on things, pretending im happy like everyone else when deep down inside i think its all wrong the two of them being together, call me jealous, call me b*tch..I dont care, i really dont..But i suppose theres not a lot i can do about it, just sit back and wait for it to work itself out..I probably know she'd be upset if it did end as i think she's really into him..I'll revel in the day, but thats just me being mean i guess..

Thanks for listening to me, once again haha.

- Brunetteteen18

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Feb 2010
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Better off alone?

I suppose i am.

I know, im being morbid and im sorry. I look back on my blog and just see how unhappy being in a relationship has made me, and the only guy ive ever felt anything for has a girlfriend and probably doesn't look at me twice, and those guys that are chasing me are either useless, thick (A bit slow in the intellect department) or just not good to look at..Or ive been out with them and wouldn't think twice about giving them a second glace. (and i suppose that makes me shallow?). Even though the one who is looking at me does make me laugh and we've been talking for quite a few years but its just meeting him. I never have the money or whatever and im just a wuss ill find an excuse sooner or later.

So, again another valentines day is approaching and it makes me feel even more miserable..No matter how much i try and laugh it off and pretend i couldn't give a sh*t, im so desperate to have one of those valentines days i envy most people having. Since i was 11 ive wanted a valentines day thats joke free and i haven't gotten one those yet, and believe me it does get you down..

And, so ive come to the conclusion i must be destined to be alone for the rest of my morbid, crappy days. I dunno, maybe just looking back at my blog and remembering the rotten look ive had in relationships has put me off for a good number of years, so here i am..Destined to be part of the lonely hearts club..Not that im bothered but still it does make me get that horrible, 'im gonna cry' feeling in the bottom of my stomach.

Thanks for reading =\

Brunetteteen18

Ps - Happy v-day for sunday

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Feb 2010
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Heres to the one i loved and got away.

Im gonna give myself one serious headache!, in fact i do have a headache, but it'll make it worse with the amount of crap on my mind

Before i begin, im sorry if all i ever seem to moan about is my amount of guy problems or the bad luck i seem to be having with them, its just that i cant have a normal journal as im pretty much paranoid about my parents reading it so i choose to write here and get it out, i dont care if people dont read it at least ive got it out of my system and i can begin to heal myself.

Okay so whats the jip this time?, my ex boyfriend who has a girlfriend. Again. So on Friday he picked me up from college as he wanted to show me his new car, so i agreed to it as i wasn't really doing anything interesting that night anyway. But we went for a drive and i enjoyed our time together as we joked and laughed and even hugged and even shared the odd kiss, i just cant help but think there is something there unless he was just using me..

But ever since yesterday i just cant stop thinking about him, and whats making it worse is im sort of seeing someone but i dont think its serious between us as we've only been together 3 weeks and i haven't seen him for like 2 of those weeks. I think thats the only reason i met my ex after college just to get that intimate thing im missing at the moment, and it filled the gap temporarily and now i find myself aching for him almost.

I look back on our relationship and realise how much i should of seen past that one rough patch and really tried my hardest to make things work, im still pretty bitter about dumping him and part of me wants him back, as at the beginning of the year he told me he loved me and my heart melted, those words that i longed to hear when we we're together came when we weren't, for nearly 3 months i waited to hear that but never did. It hurt a lot but somehow i forsaw that and carried on as normal.

And now he has a girlfriend, it just rubs it in my face even more..I dont think i cant take much more of it if im honest, i just wish i could tell him that i love him and always have and always will but im too afraid of his reaction. I think he sort of knows how i feel about him but i doubt he feels the same thesedays even if he did tell me he loved me.

Well, i better shut up as im just winding myself up even more lol!

Thanks for reading my drivel im a boring old person i know lol

Much love

- Brunetteteen18

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Feb 2010
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Sick Of Being In A Relationship..

I know people are probably bored of me complaining about things, and im sorry if your one of them :)

Just lately, ive been so bored of being in a relationship. Ive been with my boyfriend for 4 months, sure we've had so many tiffs (arguements) and stuff and i have split up with him for a brief amount of time but i always go back to him and im never really that firm and say no. At the worst of times i actually dread seeing him, like this weekend i dont know if thats normal not wanting to see your boyfriend every weekend.

Maybe, theres just too much soppy sh&t in the relationship. He always says love you and im usually qute hesistant to say that until i really mean it. If we did break up i think id just miss him spoiling me as he buys me whatever i want, i know people are going to see me as being with him for materialistic reasons but that wasn't the case.

I know i was so happy when i finally got a boyfriend, but i just feel like after a month or so the novelty of being taken wears off a lot. I know we we're suppost to be sorting a flat out together but i dont think i want to get a flat with him let alone be in a relationshop with him.

I like relationships, but when you've had so many people in your life it just warps you a lot. Like i still miss my ex and we split up 7 months ago and i just cant stop thinking about him, i have a crush on an emo guy who strings me a long none stop and life seems pretty boring from there on. I think if this relationship doesn't work out i want have another one until im 21 (next year lol )

Im so stuck for somewhere to turn, so i decided to turn to the people of CS..Since usually people have some pretty constructive thing to say =]

Thank you again for listening to my drawl (=

Much Love

- Brunetteteen18

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Oct 2009
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Giving It Up..

So, after weeks of alot of thinking. Ive decided to take a massive step and try and quit smoking, i know its going to be tough and there are times where i probably will crack but as long as i can cut down then im all for it, but if it doesn't work its a sign im not ready and i need to wait until theres next to no stress in my life :)

I haven't been doing much today, ive been with my boyfriend from 12 this afternoon until 7 tonight and i had such a great time its like everytime we meet we have so much fun and a really good laugh with each other and then when i have to leave him it hurts for some strange reason..Is it really love?

Well, ive got a story to tell about the other day. I went out again to my boyfriends city for the day and we just hung out and the clouds looked awful, they we're definitely storm clouds and i have a phobia of thunder and lightening..yes at 20 years old i officially have the wimpiest fears still lol . So anyway, it began to rumble when we we're walking home and he held me really tight, it started to rain really heavy when we got in the house, and i was just watching tv and there was this really loud bang, and lightening and it was like it struck something and i got so scared and i began to cry (i know im sad lol), he was great with me and held me really close, and told me everything was going to be alright..I dunno' i just have a horrible phobia of storms, as well as heights!..But i found that really touching because none of my other boyfriends really cared for me when i got scared of storms they'd just tell me to stop being stupid. =\

And he brought me a bear yesterday, and he gave me so many romantic guestures i couldn't believe it lol!. I haven't stopped smiling since i met him and thats nearly a month ago on the 14th July..

And whats better?, he's taking me to the leeds festival next year and he's taking me to go see our favourite band Bullet For My Valentine in November and he's paying for both i just cant believe it, finally im happy for once instead of boring everyone by moaning about my love life being on the rocks

Thanks for reading my blog and i hope i haven't bored any of you :)

Much Love

- Brunetteteen18 xxx

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Jul 2009
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Just Like Before The Chaos..

Well, i haven't updated here for a few days and im sorry about that. For once im not stuck in the house feeling sorry for myself now i have a boyfriend!.

My birthday was good, i spend the whole day with my boyfriend and he gave me a necklace thats made of silver and has 12 diamonds in it and i was speechless. And i know this seems a bit soon on in our relationship but i even picked out my engagement ring when and if were still together when im 21, its costs £1,295 and has a load of diamonds in and its my favourite colour..pink

Ive been in my boyfriends city all week, ive met all his family and they are all truely lovely people, everyone from his step siblings to his grandfather :) and they all seem to approve. He's met my mother and father and my brother and they all seem happy so far so it feels like a smooth sea finally nothing seems to be going wrong yet and im very happy which i cant believe lol!

It seems finally that all the frustration and anger that ive felt for so many years has just washed away with my new boyfriend, he lets me do what i want and dress how i want to dress and he understands me, the other day we just sat down and talked to each other for an hour about our pasts and i just seem a lot more less stressed about things now ive told him about everything thats ever been bothering me, i wish i met him sooner

He's taking me shopping on Tuesday im so excited because ive spotted these Vans checkerboard slip ons in pink that ive had my eye on and ive got a feeling he's going to buy them for me when he takes me shopping, he wasn't happy today because they changed his payday from Saturday to Monday so he's not a happy bunny bless him =)

Lol. dont you just love it when you see an ex when your finally happy with someone else?. Hahaha! i saw mine driving by just as i broke out of a kiss with my other half hehe he didn't look best of pleased i just smiled at him and we just walked across the road hand in hand much to his displeasure..Creep :D

So now im quite tired and have no idea what to say now these things just keep getting shorter since i have nothing to moan or b*tch about hehe =)

Thanks for reading my blog

Much love

- Brunetteteen18

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Jul 2009
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Getting Old..

So everyone probably knows im 20 tomorrow, i know people say 20's nothing and that the time seems to fly by after your 21..To be honest im not looking forwards to my birthday, it just feels like all the other years apart from im getting less this year.

With my mother not working because her arsehole of a boss made her redundant in March i think..Now i wont a proper birthday because of him and that makes me so mad!! .. that and with all the credit crunch shite going on it makes it harder, i know my dads finally ordered my pink guitar it should get her for Wednesday (2 days after my birthday) and thats took up half my budget its my fault i suppose, i just have expensive taste for gifts lol

Then i have my boyfriends presents, which im eager to see because he's brought me so much stuff, i know one thingd Jewellery because i saw the little bag, i dunno bout the other 3 presents though!, yeah thats not an error he actually did buy me 4 presents..Bless him :D

I had such a good day yesterday, i went to see my boyfriend for a while and we walked around sat in the park, talked and just had a laugh. I feel im falling for him because he's just so easy to talk to and most of all he understands me and he hates my ex which is another upside for me we have another thing in common haha!. We both like the same music, we're both the same ring size on our middle fingers and our ring fingers..we're both a Q..Now that is freaky

My mothers making me a cake too, im allowed to help with the cake itself but im not allowed to see the icing and decoration its a big suprise she tells me so i cant wait to see what she comes up with =)

So now im officially out of things to say, which i know your all thinking is a rareity for me haha :)

Thanks for reading my blog :]

Much love

- Brunetteteen18

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Jun 2009
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Countin' Down the Days..

It feels like im a kid again, keeping count of the days until my birthday, call me sad but i guess im still a kid inside this teenage body (I cant say teenage after 5 days can i?)

Today was warm!, very warm...so warm i got burnt and i couldn't feel it but im feeling it now as my arms are so warm its unreal and im beetroot red. I spent the day down by the resivoir near where i live and we walked around for a while so i was in the sun from 11am this morning until about 7 tonight! and i didn't even know i was burning, and i have the crappiest hayfever going!

So now its only 5 days until my birthday and im getting really excited as my parents are buying me a pink guitar that ive wanted since i was 17 and finally their giving in and buying it me, how do i know?, they told me lol! and then theres my boyfriends present which he reckons cost him a lot of money and now im mulling over in my mind what it could be but i have to wait until Monday unfortunately.

He's waking me up early!!, he wants to see me at quarter to 10 in the morning and we all know im not an early bird person id much rather sleep all day than get up really early, so im not going to be in the best of moods when im tired so i think im going to be drinking loads of coffee to perk myself up a bit more :P gotta love it!. And then my friends are coming over for a drink and they've probably brought me a present too and i want to see what those are too but no one tells me what they've brought me so i give myself headache thinking what it could be

I really do need a new phone it bugs me!, apart from the phone i want costs £300 near enough so my parents wont buy it me :(, my boyfriend has one so he said when he gets his new phone i can have his samsung tocco :D..cant wait hehe!..

June seems to have gone by really fast, i can remember my friends party on the 13th, and then at the blink of an eye it was my dads birthday on the 19th and then another blink and its mine in 5 days, and then on the 18th i finished college until september!, Im scared incase i get put into a whole new different class with the older woman because i like my comfort zone where there are people my own age!, I know my legal class had a few older woman in and i couldn't really join in with any of their conversations as they we're all married and had kids and then there me who's got neither of those, how do they expect me to manage with no one i know around...Without them i just turn into this recluse and go into a corner and keep myself to myself which i know i shouldn't do..Guess thats what i did in school so im very paranoid of people..i know how mean they can be.

So on the upside, im very happy at the moment it finally feels like somethin's going right for once (:

And on an even bigger note, im ending my blog haha!..Because ive rambled loads..Its like one i start i can never shut up haha

Thank you for reading my blog =]

Much Love

- Brunetteteen 18 (Danielle x)

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Jun 2009
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This is a list of brunetteteen18's Blogs. Click here for brunetteteen18's Blog List

brunetteteen18 Blog (45)

Whats His Problem?

Stop thinking about it!

I feel your pain.

Standing people up and stuff (Rant!!)

Happy for you. Not!.

Better off alone?

Heres to the one i loved and got away.

Sick Of Being In A Relationship..

Giving It Up..

Just Like Before The Chaos..

Getting Old..

Countin' Down the Days..

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