Heres to the one i loved and got away.
Im gonna give myself one serious headache!, in fact i do have a headache, but it'll make it worse with the amount of crap on my mind
Before i begin, im sorry if all i ever seem to moan about is my amount of guy problems or the bad luck i seem to be having with them, its just that i cant have a normal journal as im pretty much paranoid about my parents reading it so i choose to write here and get it out, i dont care if people dont read it at least ive got it out of my system and i can begin to heal myself.
Okay so whats the jip this time?, my ex boyfriend who has a girlfriend. Again. So on Friday he picked me up from college as he wanted to show me his new car, so i agreed to it as i wasn't really doing anything interesting that night anyway. But we went for a drive and i enjoyed our time together as we joked and laughed and even hugged and even shared the odd kiss, i just cant help but think there is something there unless he was just using me..
But ever since yesterday i just cant stop thinking about him, and whats making it worse is im sort of seeing someone but i dont think its serious between us as we've only been together 3 weeks and i haven't seen him for like 2 of those weeks. I think thats the only reason i met my ex after college just to get that intimate thing im missing at the moment, and it filled the gap temporarily and now i find myself aching for him almost.
I look back on our relationship and realise how much i should of seen past that one rough patch and really tried my hardest to make things work, im still pretty bitter about dumping him and part of me wants him back, as at the beginning of the year he told me he loved me and my heart melted, those words that i longed to hear when we we're together came when we weren't, for nearly 3 months i waited to hear that but never did. It hurt a lot but somehow i forsaw that and carried on as normal.
And now he has a girlfriend, it just rubs it in my face even more..I dont think i cant take much more of it if im honest, i just wish i could tell him that i love him and always have and always will but im too afraid of his reaction. I think he sort of knows how i feel about him but i doubt he feels the same thesedays even if he did tell me he loved me.
Well, i better shut up as im just winding myself up even more lol!
Thanks for reading my drivel im a boring old person i know lol
Much love
- Brunetteteen18
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