THINGS TO KEEP IN MIND IN SUSTAINING A RELATIONSHIP

This article will be short, but to the point.

We, at some point, have read a lot about tips on sustaining a relationship. The truth is, there is no hard and fast rule on sustaining a relationship. Any article or post claiming to give advice on how to sustain a relationship is just bull shitting. The reason for this is that no two persons are the same. What is good for one might be very bad or harmful for the other. If you relate one experience from one to the other, you might be doing yourself grave damage, if the person is quite different from the prior one.

So, while there are no concrete rule and guide to sustaining a relationship, their are certain things one has to keep in mind. And they involve just three things.

1. NEVER take your experience from one relationship to the other. While it is important to be wise, from your past experience, DO NOT equate it or use it as a yardstick in dealing with a new partner. Doing so, might be a big mistake. The fact is that no two persons are the same. What one person likes, might quite be antithesis to the other person. I have had one person say to me, 'I like it when you open the door for me.' I have also heard from another person that 'I hate it when you open the door for me. It makes me mad.' This is just an example.

You might be hurt from a prior relationship. Carrying that hurt or 'I now know better' attitude, to the next relationship is a mistake. So, have in the back of your mind, that no two persons are the same. Just keep an open mind

2. Get to know the person. This is NOT an overnight thing. It takes time and an OPEN MIND. DO NOT expect a PERFECT person. For there is no such thing as a perfect person or a perfect match. This involves using your brain NOT your heart. The heart can make one do things we ought not to have done. And it involves TIME. Don't rush it. Take the time to know the person. Once one does that, surprises are eliminated.

3. The 'Biggy' part. COMMUNICATION. Communication is just not the act of talking. It involves also PRESENTING words so that they can be UNDERSTOOD. The problem is that we, often present words that just shut off one's comprehension faculty. Then the breakdown. We should take time to present our words and also take the time to comprehend the words being communicated to us. We often hear one's partner say to the other, 'you are not even listening to me.' Of course, the person is listening to you, but does the person understand a 'jack sh*t' of what you are saying? So both presentation and comprehension are vital in communication.

Relationship is not as easy as we think it is. Equally, it is not as complicated as we think it is. It involves effort on both partners to make it happen. Not on any hard and fast rule.

Good luck on sustaining the next relationship.