This winter - the worse...
I decided to take a mental health day today... I am trying to relax and releave all this tension I've been feeling in my back and neck... I'm thinking maybe if I write a blog it'll help...Although, the most stressful events in my life occured 2 years ago (losing my husband, then my father ) Iam finding this winter to be most depressing...I guess, I was busy with my grief and now now that things are quieted down, somewhat,,, I am feeling ??? I really dunno... unhappy, dissatisified, lonely, lost???? I feel the need for companionship... but then ,,, I think,,, do I have what it takes to commit to a relationship again??? I feel tired,, depressed,, confused. I had a wonderful marriage... will I ever get that again... I feel the need to have someone love me... I feel the need to love again... I guess it scares me... the whole idea of committment... especially after being by myself for over 2 years... besides , I feel I'm getting too old for this now... I read a blog the other day on here saying that women, after a certain age,, after being married,, had kids,,, are of no ones use any more... no one really wants to get involved with damaged goods... am I damaged goods??? Is it really too late for me to have another good relationship??? I am 44 and I have a teenaged son... been there, done that... Can I NOT do it again and still be of some worth??
Oh my...I think I need a life's Change... not sure what to change... right now I feel stuck... my teenager doesn't want to move... I NEED to move... But I don't want to upset his life anymore... I guess, it's up to me to make the changes I need... if not a move then in other areas of my life... yes, that's it! I need to make changes...................
That's the answer... now what dooooo I doooo ,,, I wonder......
Comments (6)
Don't pay attention to people who think they have the right to define who is used and old and who is not. Who deserves love and who doesn't.
Everybody deserves to be happy and loved. Don't underestimate yourself. I understand you very well though.
Frankly I feel happy being 43. My kids are grown-up, I know my successes/failures so far, I try to find out what I want...
I think it's time for you to move on. If you still don't feel comfortable with a commitment just be friend with some decent men or if that's ok with you, have a relaxing short-time relationship, just to feel woman again. You need to feel whole person again.
You have the right to have your private life and that doesn't mean you're not a good mother. At the same time show your son that you love him, he needs your strong support now. Be friend with him too.
Wish you luck!
Listen usually the guys that call women over 40 "damaged goods" are themselves getting old and are trying to avoid facing there own mortality by diverting the negative attention or thoughts to the opposite gender....the female over 40.
So from now on when you here one of these poor insecure older men refer to women THEIR own age as "damaged goods" remind them that unless they are vampires or mummies they too are and/or will become just as "damaged" and in their case the damage goes beyond physical and moves into mental and psychological damage
Sorry for your loss hon. You are not alone ....
I mean damaged goods at 40!! Sure , I am just learning what it's all about!! And NOW I feel ready to enjoy it!! lol I just can't give up on life can I??! OK thanks friends... I'm gonna make a change... I'll blog again some day and let you know how it all works out...