Where O where are the Good Women at? (part II)

One of the biggest patterns I have witnessed with (most) women, is this compulsive need to be distracted. Now - I wouldn't go so far as to say that this applies to only Women. There are quite a few Men out there that just can't resist adding that pewter Owl to their growing collection. (and in all fairness it really DOES look as though it belongs beside that alabaster Elephant.) I'm just wondering how in the world someone creates this obsession - nay! I say! a serious addiction! out of the things that people don't want in their own homes anymore. Someone, somewhere, got real smart about the whole thing - built a "store" around where everyone was allowed to drop of all this excess clutter, built in a loading dock, and called themselves a "non-profit" organization. Now, thanks to all that foresight, those community service recipients can just show up and reorganize shoes, lamps and boxes of partial puzzles for 48 hours of their life to satisfy some requirement that is supposed to balance out the fact they were caught drinking and driving. The way I see it, is that people have just become too busy being busy. No one sits on the porch anymore, and honestly? Why would they? the whole world awaits to see what clever status update your going to choose for the day. You gotta make sure that your corn is all planted in rows or whatever, and that you have accepted all of your Mafia invites and gifts. (now your obligated to feel like you gotta go invite all of your friends to some new application that will allow you to see what ??''Ashley Beaumont Devine Fraidy''??(fake name of course) REALLY thinks about you. and if she believes your in real life a shy person.?? ) To tell you the truth, I don't believe many folks reading this know the first thing about planting corn. Save whats cheaper - if its in a can or frozen in a bag - and possibly how to open said can. (and that's only if the electric can opener is actually plugged in.)God help you if you don't look to see if it's plugged in or not first. Otherwise you will spend the morning downstairs in a very dark and spidery place, staring at the fuse box - burning your fingers over and over with a half pack of matches you kept down there for just such a purpose. By the time you figure it all out (without the benefit of a cup of coffee yet)you could have easily opened enough corn to force the Kentucky Whiskey Distribution efforts into selling their wares at Fifty cents a half gallon. But on top of all that - you gotta actually seem like you give a damn about the thing while your doing it. Otherwise you might just as well hire a man to stand in your kitchen holding the instruction manual and occasionally point out that the cord just slipped in between the microwave and that espresso machine that somehow got added to your registry at your marriage Six years back and has been used maybe twice. I'm not sure, but I'm thinking that that little container of super fine ground coffee in there didn't make it into the trash all those years back and the last time I remembered peeking in there it was growing green stuff. (Did you know that there is this secret magic trick passed down from generation to generation in some families that actually bestow upon you the jaw dropping ability to make pop-corn without the benefit of a microwave? i don't blame you for not believing me, but I saw it happen once. It's true.) The thing is .... everyone just needs to feel needed. That's just how people are. The question is ... What's actually needed? And more importantly? How did I end up with so much stuff? When the divorce gets finalized? do we HAVE to split all of it? I'm left in serious doubt about just "good" this "will" actually is anyway ...