Real Love - a definition

Love is controllable as the Lord stated for to "fall in Love" is not to truly love, this fall in love menatality is not necessarily a healthy love - it boads the we have no control. A healthy love is that which we have been told over and over is one in which action and truth are shown. How does a parent know that their child loves them? through action and truth in behavior, just as between a couple. The words or tongue are all fine n dandy but when ya get done to the nitty gritty ya want someone to show you love. Who do you believe more the person talking the talk or the person walking the walk? As the saying goes talk is cheap, show me the walk - show me you are who you say you are and what you say you believe.

Let me ask this does a child blindly love their parent? Is this uncontrollable? I would say that in any matter of the heart or love that it is definitely controllable through how we act and react. A child will withhold his/her love from a parent who does not do what is needed, and a parent can choose to withhold love from a child. It is no different in the manner of loving another except in what you are choosing. Do you choose to have and love one who completes you or one who compliments you?

And does love die when it is withheld or not returned? Why should it? When it is controllable you have a choice however the Bible states that we are to love our neighbor as ourselves - faith, hope and love but of the greatest of these is love. It is not a matter of loving another but perhaps what you are thinking of is the type of love for there are many types of love and each one does not necessarily work for another. It is then this choice that you must make - which type of love am I to show this person and not whether or not I shall love them.

Love is also not a joint decision, who said this. That to love we must first be loved by our neighbor???? No we are told to love our neighbor as ourselves, the benefit tho is that when we show love it is often returned (tho not always). Do you only love those that love you? I think not. It is something that is given freely not with expectations for with expectations then it no longer becomes love but rather a responsibility towards another. Love becomes painful when we expect the other to love us as we love them, I do not believe that this is what we should hold as love. Love is that one thing that we should give freely, from our free will. Have you ever tried to love one who loved you but you did not feel the same kind of love for the person? It is awful!!! Yet you can love that person by the actions you demonstrate to that person, by the kindness and empathy you portray. Is that not also loving?

Love is not a motivator, again this is going beyond the very concept of what it is. It places expectations on love that love itself can not fulfill. Motivate means to bring forth a desire, its an attitude in conjunction to an emotion. Love can motivate people but as I said it is not a motivator, there is a difference in this. I am motivated to do well in school, why because I will reap rewards from doing so. If I love others or another I can not completely and wholly feel that I will reap rewards from those that I do love. The very gift of love is that it is given freely if I expect to reap rewards from it then it is no longer freely given.