WAYS OF DEALING WITH THE BURDENS OF LIFE:

* Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.

* Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.

* Drive carefully. It's not only cars that can be recalled by their maker.

* Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you won't have a leg to stand on.

* Since it's the early worm that gets eaten by the bird, sleep late. and remember that it's all ways the second mouse that gets the cheese.

* You may be only one person to the world, but you are also the world to one person.

* "A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.


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ABOUT GROWING OLDER..



First: Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.


Second: The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.

Third : Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know "why" I look this way. I'v traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved.

Fourth: When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, thing of Algebra.

Fifth: I don't know how I got over the hill without getting to the top.

sixth: One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice change for being young.

Seventh: One must wait until evening to see how splendid the day has been.

Eighth: Being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.

Ninth: Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today it's called golf.

Tenth: If you don't learn to laugh at trouble, you won't have anything to laugh at when you are old.


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Four old men were out golfing. "These hills are getting steeper as the years go by," on complained.

These fairways seem to be getting longer too," said one of the others.

"The sand traps seem to be bigger than I remember them too," said the third senior.

After hearing enough from his buddies, the oldest and the wisest of the four of them at 87 years old, piped up and said, "Just be thankful we're still on the right side of the grass!"