Strange Emotion
I got a call from a buddy of mine who still had some friends of my ex on his FB. He told me to go check her page. Sounded serious a call at 2am. He wouldn't tell me what was up. Was she dead? Was she now with someone I knew?? Her Dad was not well I knew that. We broke up in May 2011. OMG I wonder what is wrong?!?!So I stumbled over to the laptop and opened up. And there on her page uploaded yesterday was a video of a baby in it's crib. I recognised the wall of her old bedroom (she must be at her home place now with the parents) and her voice speaking very affectionately to it. The captions hinted that it was her baby but nothing definite... she said thanks to a compliment someone had left 'Beautiful just like her mother'. So.. all the signs point to her child.
What I can't figure out is why I can't sleep now. There is some emotion running through my head and a tense feeling in my stomach. I'm your typical male stereotype in some respects. I recognise Anger, Happiness, and Sadness. And that's about it... other emotions I don't understand much.
So... has this happened to anyone before? I'm sure it has of course. But can you identify what I'm feeling? 'Cos I sure as hell can't.
Comments (92)
When my wife and i divorced leaving me to raise our 3 children on my own, she had another child about 4 years later to some guy and i also felt hurt, (i guess thats the right word) maybe confused, delusioned with things maybe.
Of course i still harboured some feelings towards her even knowing that we would never be together again.
So maybe thats your feeling, confused, disillusioned maybe because you never gave any thought to her having a child.
Just a thought.
Maybe you are just a big softy at heart and not the big macho/Alpha man that comes across here.
Nothing to be ashamed or worried about.
hope i havent spoken out of line.
Could it be you wish you were there on the video, with her having this baby? the could've, should've, would've feeling?
I hope this is the kind of fiction I was wishing for. If not, then, maybe Cherry is better at math than she thought. It's nothing to joke about though, if you are in the loop.
Always heartfelt regards,
Kath
It is ok to feel as you do, 6 years is a long time, and maybe just toughen up a little more.
You still have some sort of feelings for her.
Good or bad.
Maybe drop her a line saying g'day and see what happens.
Just a thought.
with your sunny attitude I forcast another 19 years without IT
@Kath: It's ok.
@cherrie: No... I don't feel the envy. I always knew there would be a sting if I saw her with another guy. I mean that's only natural. But this is ... well... different. There is no guy with her from what I can tell. Which is even worse. In fact I would be a lot happier if it was a vid of her and a guy AND the baby.
I have been trying to think of a time I felt the same,and have remembered instances but not to the same degree of shock and frustration ratios.
I am not joking FYI, I have been more shocked than frustrated, etc.
but 2weeks after we split i found out out he was seen some 1 else i was not a bit happy over it but my main worry was my girls so i asked to meet d girl to talk i was very calm and chatted for a while and d 2 main things i told her if i loved my husband we wudn have this chat
n 2nd if any things change between my x and our girls ,il kill both of ye
the first yr was hard cos she got pregnant soon after so it was hard tryn to explain to our eldest bout a new baby , but nothing changed between d x and the kids and they werent affected by the split much ,so now 8 yrs down the line he remains a great dad to all he,s kids and we r good friends,
n he,s gf of back then and now is just as good to my kids and i
and i to theres
and does always call in to my house when collecting my girls to go to there dads ,some ppl think its mad the way we all get on and they wud never do it but we put the kids first and always will
^^ I think that's it.
It is only because if it were me I would be saying to mayself "WHAT IS SHE THINKING!!!"
but, that is just me. I am not as romantic as I once was...
Congratulations on tonight's best blog and comments, God knows I was suffering.
You will be fine, as fine as a strong man with a strong brain can be, but not short on compassion.
juts build your boat and pick us up