Strange Emotion
I got a call from a buddy of mine who still had some friends of my ex on his FB. He told me to go check her page. Sounded serious a call at 2am. He wouldn't tell me what was up. Was she dead? Was she now with someone I knew?? Her Dad was not well I knew that. We broke up in May 2011. OMG I wonder what is wrong?!?!So I stumbled over to the laptop and opened up. And there on her page uploaded yesterday was a video of a baby in it's crib. I recognised the wall of her old bedroom (she must be at her home place now with the parents) and her voice speaking very affectionately to it. The captions hinted that it was her baby but nothing definite... she said thanks to a compliment someone had left 'Beautiful just like her mother'. So.. all the signs point to her child.
What I can't figure out is why I can't sleep now. There is some emotion running through my head and a tense feeling in my stomach. I'm your typical male stereotype in some respects. I recognise Anger, Happiness, and Sadness. And that's about it... other emotions I don't understand much.
So... has this happened to anyone before? I'm sure it has of course. But can you identify what I'm feeling? 'Cos I sure as hell can't.
Comments (92)
@Jac: I've stopped my efforts hours ago. 3 hours after my last best wishes she warmed up and eventually replied 'Thanks' (again). I plan on leaving it at that.
I just feel bad that she's got herself into a situation which I know was not ideal for her. Still I've seen it repeated by other before and they've come through these challenges stronger than ever. I hope for her sake and the child's sake she does aswell. I don't really have more to say now.
Life doesn't always go according to plan, but then our plans aren't always the best ones anyway.
She's just on a different path. It doesn't mean she's on a worse path; she might be on a better one for her. In fact, I hazard a guess she is on a better one for her.
Don't underestimate the power of the subconscious and her ability to adapt. Don't underestimate the impact of having a child. It entirely changes your perspective and motivations.
You don't seem to have much faith in her. Perhaps you'd be better off examining that within yourself, rather than being critical of her. It might lead you to a better pathway. She has control over her life, you have control over yours.
Please don't celebrate mediocrity. There are many different circumstances that one can choose to create life. This one was far form ideal.
ON a general note it's been a while since I first penned the opener. These things they call emotions sure do come and go fast. lol