Strange Emotion
I got a call from a buddy of mine who still had some friends of my ex on his FB. He told me to go check her page. Sounded serious a call at 2am. He wouldn't tell me what was up. Was she dead? Was she now with someone I knew?? Her Dad was not well I knew that. We broke up in May 2011. OMG I wonder what is wrong?!?!So I stumbled over to the laptop and opened up. And there on her page uploaded yesterday was a video of a baby in it's crib. I recognised the wall of her old bedroom (she must be at her home place now with the parents) and her voice speaking very affectionately to it. The captions hinted that it was her baby but nothing definite... she said thanks to a compliment someone had left 'Beautiful just like her mother'. So.. all the signs point to her child.
What I can't figure out is why I can't sleep now. There is some emotion running through my head and a tense feeling in my stomach. I'm your typical male stereotype in some respects. I recognise Anger, Happiness, and Sadness. And that's about it... other emotions I don't understand much.
So... has this happened to anyone before? I'm sure it has of course. But can you identify what I'm feeling? 'Cos I sure as hell can't.
Comments (92)
I know, you are " bad guy "
And, believe me, you do not need to be sorry her, babies are not born according plans or fair market values, majority of women are ALWAYS ready to be mothers, if it is necessary, anywhere and any time
Good Blog, MADDOG!
Only yours and Backintolight´s have made me fine last couple of days.
Well stay tuned please, Saggi.. I'm about to write another girly blog, dedicated fr all the CS ladies here..
good job Irishmen
pls a lot of make ups, lipsticks and BAGS
I need that! In team with 13 men, only scent I can feel when I come back home is testosterone and fight/ struggle / competition
You wana be a baby again
As about the blue eyes, they can come from the grand-parents and it s not too rare.
All our (and your) speculations might be wrong though and who cares actually? Be happy for her and leave her in the past.
and did everthing she could to not get pregnant to you ..man that got to hurt ....
that she would spread her legs apart for the next man she saw ...ouch! thats a crushing blow ...be strong man ...
What difference would it make to you if she was with the father?
She said she didn't want a child and then she said she didn't want you, but it turns out that she did want a child, just not you. She said she didn't want a child without being married and then had a child without being married.
Would you have preferred it if you had been the father of the child, even if she didn't want to be with you?
Do you feel betrayed in some way (rational, or otherwise)? Like she's heaped all her love on her baby that was once heaped on you, but the baby isn't a part of you, neither is the baby a part of the love and marriage thing she said she wanted?
Are you feeling like her getting pregnant by a randomer is a measure of how much she didn't want any part of you in her life?
Can tell you I experienced similar .
You will muddle through the mixed emotions and be left with the one thats Right.
PS My Two Sons were born with blue eyes. When I asked the nurse about it I was told an interesting fact.
All Babies are born with Blue Eyes and the pigment bleeds in..
I sent a SMS 9:00am local time congratulating her if it was true. 9:28am now. Very much unlike her not to reply.
I think I can understand if you were dumped, you may have wished the one who dumped you would have miserable life with or without your presence in his/her future life. You probably still keep your anger because she dumped you and you were upset to see that she's now moving on. Instead of making speculations of she's living a happy life or not, maybe you can talk to her to figure it out yourself. Anyway, if I may suggest, wish her happy with her present life may somehow give you a relief to move on with your life ahead.
Good luck
Maybe you was a bit sad, anyway why she had to put a video with her baby on FB for?... i find that stupid but maybe she done it on porpose to show all friends including you that she is happy now and she have a baby and you don't.:P
Some womans do that. Stop thinking to the past say Congrats to her and move on.
Be happy is not yours now you had to pay pension for the baby and others.
seems you have everything under control now.
cant understand how people were mis reading what you were saying.
She seems ungrateful that you have sent her well wishes.
Sure something didnt happen just before the Dear maddog txt she sent you?
just a thought.
yeah that one, just seems if she is telling to where tom go now after you have sent her some good wishes, maybe she still harbours ill feelings towards you.
As i said, just a thought.
You know what some women are like, they hold a grudge for eternity.
"I think I can understand if you were dumped, you may have wished the one who dumped you would have miserable life "
From the little i know of you, this isnt normal practice for you to be blogging like this, are we seeing a softer side of you?
again i do not mean this in a negative way.
Tis just different to what i would normally see.
Anyway, i guess you have got this out of your system now.
Onwards and upwards as they say.