Shopping survival guide for men.

Just a few tricks i've learned to enjoy shopping allot more.
First of all.. Forget about pride. Thats the most important thing.
Now the secret is to add some more fun to the entire thing.
What can you do to reach that goal??

For example:
*you could put stuff into other people kart.. Especially chocolates, chips or something like that in karts of people who have children with them.. Fun garanteed.

*If you notice someone looking for something in a rack.. get between them and the rack and start "searching" for something.. if they move right.. you move right.. if they go left.. you move left.
*Push away other people karts while unattented. Or just run into other people kart on the corners and stuff like that.
*Push any toy that makes sound
*If they sell alarmclocks or other kinds of timers... set them all to go off in the next 10-15 minutes.. don't set them on the same time.. keep a few minutes interval for each of them if possible..
*ask people information about the products they are buying because you are in doubt if you should get it yourself or if you should select another brand.
*clothes.. If she goes into a changing booth... locate a small rack of clothes and put it in front of the booth.. if she comes out she won't know what to do.
*Go into the booth next to hers and start moaning.
*Talk to yourself whenever passing a mirror.. things like.. wow i'm cute, hey i know this guy, what a hottie.. BAsic stuff.
*Never leave home without your imaginary friends.. they are fun to talk to while waiting in line.
*If she asks advice about clothes, or hands you a purse.. act like one of her girlfriends.. If she treats you like one you are allowed to act like one.
*In case you need a break once in a while.. pick up smoking.. this can buy you up to 15 minutes freedom every 2nd shop.. just say you need a smoke and that she can go in already..

More tips and tricks might be added later.
Good luck