when I am lonely...
Nov 24, 2012 10:04 AMWhen I stop crying, when I sit here silently and leave loneliness to run into the deepest corners of my heart, when I don’t find someone else to lean on or cry in front of…when I accept loneliness as my fate, there is no more reason for me to reject its presence. Let it accompany me on the way to seek stability, happiness, peace and comfort. Let it join my journey, on which I know there is no one else and there is far for me to reach the destination.
I recognize I have never stopped being lonely, since the first day I landed in this place. I used to name it a “white-coloured loneliness”, as it had helped ease my soul, encouraged me to change, given me bravery to leave behind things that I saw boring and live life as I wish. Now, I am still feeling lonely but loneliness has changed its colour, wearing a cloudy grey layer like the sky’s misty skin in the early winter mornings blanketed by the thick fog in my hometown. I was scared, disoriented and exhausted, and for a few moments I accepted myself as a looser unconditionally when I stayed confined within the four walls of my room at nights, thinking about my uncertain future. I used to give myself chances to meet new people, wishing that my fear of loneliness could have disappeared so that I could have felt encouraged to continue my journey. However, today, I understood the thing I should have done was not to try to let loneliness leave my heart, but to keep it “white,” as this will help me not lose my confidence and keep me focused.
Comments (3)
It seems to me you spend a lot of time living in a lonely place, your mind, your room, these are great places but they limit the possibility of growth as a plant will only grow as big as the pot it's planted in will allow,
Love your writings,
It seems to me you spend a lot of time living in a lonely place, your mind, your room, these are great places but they limit the possibility of growth as a plant will only grow as big as the pot it's planted in will allow,
Love your writings,