Rainy April
20110202
A grey raining day such as today makes me think of my writing for the rainy day of April a few years back that was named Rainy April.
I, again, consider it as a scratch to my life. After all of anger, resentment, lament, the only thing to rescue a person from his pain and envy is generosity. It is generosity to self. The past, whatever it has been, is still the past and no matter whether or not you like it, it has already happened. However, it will be a lesson, an experience and sure that, no one can swim twice in the same river. Let forgive for all of clumsiness, mistake I have made, all of greed and selfishness that were once within me, and the times I was off track. Forgive all. Somewhere else, there would be one like me, still on the way, seeking honesty. And, though, my belief may be worn out a little like this time, to live, there is no other choice except that I have to continue to believe.
Tomorrow is another day, again. I keep busy with work. Honestly, I have never been in the sluggish state like this time, losing all energy and enthusiasm in life, the hobbies of myself becoming less attractive, unable to cheer me up. Every evening, after a day of working aimlessly, the only thing I do is to toss myself on the bed, feeling floated and vague. Then, sleep comes…restless and unsettled…. It seems that everything is blank and empty in me. May be…may be now I am so weary for having been expecting an honest affection for years which then can become a sweet memory that whenever I remember, I would feel warm, happy and appreciated in the heart. It is an unrealistic wish, isn’t it? Is honesty just another trait among the numerous different characteristics existing in a person, of which we have to be patient, persistent and kind to earn it?
Comments (1)
"... the only thing to rescue a person from his pain and envy is generosity. It is generosity to self."
I believe in honesty as the main thing to liberate human souls.