A disaster waiting to happen
I met up again with a guy I dated a long time ago and the feelings that we both shared before hand came rushing back. But I've got hesitation to let my guard off, this guy once claimed he's not into commitment. I was alright to carry on for awhile in the friends with benefits situation then I put a stopped unto it. We haven't seen each other for three months. Then a week ago, he dropped me a message saying how much he missed me. I retaliated to him that I'm looking to have a relationship with a guy and not fun times only. He then asked if I can give him another chance but go slow with him in that area. He's willing to have it a go and would like to share it with me. Short story, because it was a mutual feelings for both parties, I decided to give him another chance.My question is, am I making a huge mistake about this? Please help....
Comments (33)
Best of luck Dess!! :)
BEST OF LUCK DESS
Thanks for your advice, appreciate it :-)
But here's the punch line. Some women on a deep down level know this without admitting it to themselves, when they're in this situation, but progress anyway for various reasons.
One more thing. Read her blog title. Even she admits it's "A disaster waiting to happen". Now, if she's not so sure herself why go for it when you have doubts!
light
I know i am far from perfect
Ed, thanks for comparing the guy whom I'm dating at the moment with your boss but I can tell you now that he's not the same with him. Yes, he was a tap and gap guy before but as we further known each other, we're starting to open up more. He was single, he just have issues with commitment because of various reasons...
Maddog, he wasn't using me for one thing. I did miss him and thought it will be good to get back together and do things slowly and spontaneously.
Lachicabonita, thank you for being on my side and I appreciate ur kindness :-)
And I guess it's better to give a person another chance to see if he truly means what he said that he's ready for commitment rather totally shutting the door. And I would like to share this message to everyone:
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.' So goes the old saying. The implication here is that, while we may be able to blame someone else the first time they let us down, if we put ourselves in the position where they can do the same thing again, we have only ourselves to blame. This is a good, wise, rule but to every rule there is an exception. There are times when, if we are too draconian, we cut ourselves off from precious opportunities. Be wary of an offer by all means now, but don't slam a door shut.
both of you seem like nice people and i believe we get what we give
for that reason, follow your heart and take the risk
i would say maybe instead of hoping and trying to make him to commit how bout we do it the other way around by starting to accept him the way he is
from my experience, people don't change, they just reveal themselves
It all come down to doing what you want to do. You asked out opinions and I gave you one. My comparison was to alert you on what I see your BF appears like to me. It's up to you to accept or deny. And that's ok.
A Raven!
Second chances should always be given. But, again, read Dess's Blog Title. It's not a question. She is coming right out and saying that it is a disaster. Now if you know right from the beginning that it's a disaster why on earth would you plunge right back into a problem?
Dess, anyway, Niitsa said it well. Be prepared for the worst but don't forget to enjoy the good things that may come between you and him. All the best
OK, I re-read it and you are correct to a certain point.
HOWEVER! In the second sentence, "But I've got hesitation to let my guard off, this guy once claimed he's not into commitment".
She's unsure! But like I said before she's doing the final decision. She asked for our opinion and I stick by mine!
And Ed, it's your opinion in what you wrote here and I respect that but not everyone are the same.