wallops1964
wallops1964
Apr 2014
585 Views
6 Comments

Thought provoking question/quote

Stephen R. covey, a writer and professor on human relations was once asked " I really really like this person I think I love them but not sure. How can I tell the difference between needing and loving someone?"
He said to this person "ask and answer this question which of the 2 following would best sum up your feelings

'I need you therefore I love you? or
I love you therefore I need you?' "

Something to ponder on when considering our relationships.

Have you any thoughts in this????
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Comments (6)

Kittyjoy
Kittyjoy●somewhere by the sea, Western Cape South Africa
Apr 20, 2014●10 Blogs●572 Comments
#1
...perhaps in order to separate the materialistic need from the deep emotional need to give and receive love we should rather be asking ourselves....."if this person I profess to love would lose all his/her worldly goods and had nothing of earthly value to bring to the relationship, in other words they are dirt poor, would I still find him/her attractive and appealing to me?"dunno

@Wallops.....Thanks for the blog...very thought provoking

@Gloss...thumbs up ...good comment...show mature perspective
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goldengloss
goldengloss●Malahide North County Dublin, Dublin Ireland
Apr 20, 2014●1 Blogs●1,936 Comments
#2
@Wallops, Thank you so much for thinking about me and for your kind wishes. Because my mother rejected me at 5months, [I am 2nd eldest] and I have 7 siblings I dont know, it hurts. I spoke to her on phone and she doesnt want to meet, makes up all kinds of excuses so this Easter, I feel particularly lonely when i hear of people with families. I know God has his reasons....My two dear single friends are now rampant alcoholics and Its hard to talk to somebody who is in love with the 'Bottle'. Friends ive had are married and now grandparents and I only see them now and again so Easter time , this is the first Easter in years, I am totally alone except for some messages via text from friends. I have to go through this as I knew when I left my last relationship that I would be facing into loneliness, which I am ashamed to say, may have been why I refused to see the Red Flags and put up with abusive treatment.
Thanks for your kindness. Have a lovely day.
Very interesting about your friendship. i have done the same thing and am proud that I didnt just go for somebody becase they cared for me and had money etc., alot of people arent as thoughtful or kind as you are. I would never use somebody.
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wallops1964
wallops1964OP●Wakefield, West Yorkshire, England UK
Apr 20, 2014●24 Blogs●2,327 Comments
#3
Kitty joy, thank you for your comments. I know exactly where you are coming from and totally agree. I also think though that some may go into a relationship for the emotional needs it fills in them, not been totally committed or loving that person but 'needing to be loved' rather than wanting to love. Am I making sense? dunno I do think lots go into a relationship for material stability but some for emotional fulfillment whilst not themselves able to return the love.
For me I would sooner be on my own than in an unequal relationship.

Great points and you made me think from a different angle, thank you and HaPPy Easter hug
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Kittyjoy
Kittyjoy●somewhere by the sea, Western Cape South Africa
Apr 20, 2014●10 Blogs●572 Comments
#4
@Wallops....I get what you are saying and yes you do make total sense...there are also those who depend on others for their emotional needs to be met.....but once again whenever a relationship is one sided....then it becomes unbalanced and unhealthy.....friendship, love, respect, trust and all the characteristics that make up a deep and lasting relationship has to come from both partners...with out that even though you live together in the same apartment you might as well be living on your own and miles apart.
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Lukeon
Lukeon●Port Elizabeth 6000, Eastern Cape South Africa
Apr 20, 2014●484 Blogs●7,155 Comments
#5
wave Wal,,,Some women here need to love the guys pay check in order to tolerate him. Goes for men too.rolling on the floor laughing
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wallops1964
wallops1964OP●Wakefield, West Yorkshire, England UK
Apr 20, 2014●24 Blogs●2,327 Comments
#6
Lukeon, what are you saying? Are the guys that bad a cheque book is needed to compensate behaviour ?.... Surely notdunno does that balance the scales confused
Maybe we just all need to be the kind of person we want to be with and find that match eh? peace
Sounds a bit better than the cheque book .. Though I do love to spend (mmmmmmm tempting!! ;( ) yay
Enjoy Bank holiday Monday laugh
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by wallops1964
created Apr 2014
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Last Viewed: Apr 21
Last Commented: Apr 2014
wallops1964 has 24 other Blogs

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