Jokes :-D

Hi U2,

Jerry was at a marriage seminar, and the leader of the seminar, a lady, was asking everybody how long they were married for. When it was Jerry’s turn Jerry said that he was married for almost 50 years. “Wow” the leader gushed “that’s amazing, perhaps you can take a few minutes to share some insights with everybody, how you stay married to the same woman for so long. “Well,” Jerry said after thinking for a few moments, “I try to treat her nice, buy her presents, take her on trips…………. and best of all, for our 25th anniversary I took her to the Bahamas.” “Well that’s really beautiful, and a true inspiration for all of us” the lady said “maybe you can tell us what you are going to do for your 50th anniversary” she said with a smile “Well” Jerry said “I’m thinking of going back to the Bahamas to pick her up.”

Preacher is baptizing down to the river.
And he dunks this fella once and when he comes up gasping preacher asks him, “Do you believe?”
And the man answers, “Yes, I believe!”
So preacher dunks him again. And pulling him up asks, “Do you believe?”
“Yes, I believe!” comes the answer.
So under the water he sends him a third time. And as the man comes up he asks him a third time, “Do you believe?”
“Yes, I believe.”
“And what do you believe?” asks the preacher.
“I believe you’re trying to drown me!”

(I posted this previously on one of Jim's blogs)

U2, Here is one more.

The husband was in the kitchen killing flies. The wife walks into the kitchen and says to the husband.."what are you doing"? He replies.."killing flies". Well she says, "how many have you killed"? "Five" he says, "three females and two males". The wife says..."how do you know you killed three females and two males"? He says..."easy, three flies were on the phone and two were on the beer can"!