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Happy New Year 2018 to all of you

At times am really unhappy its seems next to hate for my self, I know that one day God is going to make me shine so bright that its almost blinging to see, i know that things take time and that the Lord is and will always be by my side. Its hard have confidence and am trying my best to keep my head up high i've done things in life that i wish others will never do. My rock my hope my everything my God he has faith in me and me in him.

of anyone on this site being done for s3xual harassment,
You can't even type the word

When things seem less important
These things seem to become
Meaningful
Simply because they could be
Forgotten, these things become so cherished

With nothing to gain by time
The limited nature of the
Unimportant is so powerfully simple
The cut and dry slice of bread
Becomes one of the few things that satisfy hunger

A gaze or word
The thoughtfulness
Fleeting brushes of sleeves
Unseen caresses TBD
With Life and Death as our bookends

What could be termed as
Insignificant
I collect these grains of sand
So small, they collect in the creases in my palm
We collect what is unseen and build our sand castles

Love is a matter of nothing !! Don’t believe ?? Okay , just ask your eyes.. what do they like ?? You will get answare that, `eyes’ liking is unlimited, unexpected… eyes like thousands things and it never remain on one place for long time… !! Slippery Eyes choices always slips… it loves is only the matter of time !! Eyes are the gateway of every choices…If we do not have any eyes… there will no word ~LOVE~ in dictionary .. I think !!!?

I had a telemarketer job a few years back. The business owner had obtained a call list for consumers who purchased high-end dolls. These dolls were made of the finest latex and were hand painted with features desirable by the worldly man. Every eyelash was placed with precision. The pores of the doll secreted the fragrance selected by the male who placed the order. Her every feature and nuance was the compilation of a detailed order form.

Back to my position. I was responsible for selling the lube cartridges for such dolls. As you can imagine, it wasn't an easy sell. I had to know my product up and down, sideways and under, to be sure! I had to inform the potential customer of the ease of application into the an*l cavity without the trauma of a leaky cartridge. We all have experience the leaky cartridge, not pleasant. So, I became adept at selling the fine qualities of such a refurbished cartridge. The commission was good. I received much positive feedback on the performance of our lube cartridges. In time, the cartridges sold themselves, with growing notoriety and consumer reviews. Unfortunately, the Chinese whispers spread the news and I was out of a job.

Since I've moved to my new home I have not been able to find a job. So I have had to depend on a food bank. No big deal. God supplied me with food and I am reciprocating His good work and favor with doing my part at the food bank as a volunteer.

I am hard of hearing and I don't multi-task too well so when I went to donate my time I volunteered to lug the wagon of food to the recipients car and unload it for them. I have hearing aids I don't like to use them because in a dusty warehouse setting the cost of the hearing aids use ($8000) is prohibitive.

Since the volunteer aspect (It's transient help because most are offenders and they are doing community service) comes into play. The supervisor, extremely patient, has to finish up a job sometimes left undone. And the workload gets heavy on the regular and dependable. Therefor, I have made an effort to scope things out to see what can be done to alleviate unnecessary work. And this is the crux of my blog!

There are many older people unable to come to the food bank so we deliver food to them on Saturday's. This one wonderful woman heads that up. The first thing she needs are boxes clean enough to pack with the food. I noticed that I have time at certain times of the day so I volunteered to prepare these boxes. They contain junk that needs to be discarded so I do that and line them up in the manner she prefers to have them.

I started doing that yesterday. When I was relieved of my "lugging" duties I informed the lady, Sylvia, that takes the client info and disburses the food where I would be. I said to her, "I will be in back if you need me". Unfortunately this woman is also the kind of person that answers a question with a question. But since I didn't ask a question her curiosity came in and asked me what I was going to do. When I told her she, in her normal go to the max making conclusions, said, "Does Christie know what your doing?" and "Does Charles know what your doing?" and on and on like I'm some kind of stupid idiot. In addition, it was none of her business. Christie and I got together and we planned a strategy. I looked at her and just said, "You know where you can find me if you need me" and I simply ignored her line of questioning.

Now, it got worse. For one hour I cleaned the boxes to Christie's specs! It suddenly occurred to me I had stacked the boxes on the ground (a Federal guideline No-No in the food handling). So I asked this lady Rikki if the boxes needed to be elevated on pallets. She too answers questions with questions. She began riddling me with questions as to why I was what I was doing. I mean, she was walking around the entire hour I was assembling the boxes and it didn't occur to her to ask me what I was doing? I explained and I was finally able to pry out of her a simple answer.

THEN!! This guy, Jimmy, that walks around mumbling to himself comes over and he starts talking to Rikki about the box stack I was making. I didn't care what he asked because she answered him and it appeared that he knew what was going on. But I was wrong. When Christie came to see the operation she caught Jimmy loading up her boxes up on his truck. She told him to stop, she climbed up into the back of the truck and unloaded them. Jimmy just walked around in his usual weird manner mumbling to himself.

I was exasperated when I left for the day. BUT!!! Then when I arrived this morning I was hit with another snag. I calmly told the person I was up to my neck in hogwash and was leaving.

I should have left yesterday when all this "problem" was brewing. I am now at the library cooling off and getting away from the pain in the neck over a small job swerving into a major hassle!

Whew!! Thanks to Jesus for the relief!

Some here who know me know that I am a lazy person. Several years ago I decided work is boring. Not only that, I learned when bones break at work, not only does it hurt, but the employers don;t care. There is always another employee to use up. So, I stopped doing that. Yes, sure the decision did cause some minor financial upset but I seem to have gotten by it.

I spend a lot of time on YouTube. Mostly learning videos actually. Languages, Science and Tech, free online classes from major Universities, etc. Years ago I also made a few fun videos for CS folk. Then I read some comments on other pages and some YouTube information pages (YouTube has whole books online to read, buried in their help pages). The big thing is monetization.

Monetization, you make videos, you get 10,000 views, then you are eligible to apply for YouTube monetization. If they like your videos (and they look at all of them) in a few days they will say yes or no. If it is a yes, you can then begin selecting which videos it would be okay for YouTube to attach commercial ads to. YouTube (which is owned by Google) selects the ads. If a viewer has an option of cancelling the ad and lets it run for more than 2 seconds, the adverttiser pays YouTube and YouTube pays a cut to the video owner. What could be cooler? My high school guidance counselor never even suggested making home videos for a living.

All anyone needs is a cheap pocket camera and an idea and the cash register begins to ring. And this brings us to my jealousy. I compete against true artists. I am a child with fingerpaints by comparison, competing for ad dollars against Van Gough and Rembrandt. I wish I had their creativity. They get millions of views, while I have only a few tens of thousands.

My voice is a monotone, so am I. I just is. They flower, bloom, then bloom again. Here is an example.
The Mother of Dragons (from Game of Thrones) does rap. Genius, I kneel.







And her White Walker?





One in ten views gets an ad. Four of ten of those let it run more than 2 seconds. Over one million views for each video. $$$$ Ka ching, Ka ching, just here those cash registers ring. And she does at least one video every day. With my laziness one a month is a lot. I am in awe. I am jealously in awe.