What we Really Want (18)
You cannot (in my view) have love without trust - either love for yourself or for another .Confidence plays a big part as well .
No confidence = no trust in self so wont/cant trust others .
No trust = No love . Simple to me .
No confidence = no trust in self so wont/cant trust others .
No trust = No love . Simple to me .
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petalbabe: I read alot of the posts that go on on this site, particularly regararding what men and women want from each other.
The main things that seems to put barriers in the way of taking this further are:-
1. Insecurity in oneself;
2. Hurt relating to previous experiences, and prejudice therein;
3. Worries about financial abilities to please the other person;
4. Fears of being hurt again and the automatic implementation of emotional armour to stop someone getting to close.
What is the answer to these impediments? The answer to all is the same. TRUST.
In yourself, to be able to provide, and then trust in the potential partner.
Trust is the hardest thing to regain. But it is surely most important thing to obtain in order to enjoy an loving, longterm relationship. Which, I think, most of us on here would like.
Food for thought.
The main things that seems to put barriers in the way of taking this further are:-
1. Insecurity in oneself;
2. Hurt relating to previous experiences, and prejudice therein;
3. Worries about financial abilities to please the other person;
4. Fears of being hurt again and the automatic implementation of emotional armour to stop someone getting to close.
What is the answer to these impediments? The answer to all is the same. TRUST.
In yourself, to be able to provide, and then trust in the potential partner.
Trust is the hardest thing to regain. But it is surely most important thing to obtain in order to enjoy an loving, longterm relationship. Which, I think, most of us on here would like.
Food for thought.
bon appetite
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In my opinion, people are afraid to answer this question.
Because it involves admitting a weakenss in their eyes;
Untrust
Insecurity
Unworthiness
All tbese things are in the mind. But second, third and forth relationships will never become sucessful unless we get over them.
Because it involves admitting a weakenss in their eyes;
Untrust
Insecurity
Unworthiness
All tbese things are in the mind. But second, third and forth relationships will never become sucessful unless we get over them.
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imagine life with out that pain,,growing,,gaining passion,,compassion. Those pains, are not in vain
( or shouldnt be )
( or shouldnt be )
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I find that often, people say they want one thing (on their profile) ie long term...but seem to act differently. Perhaps it's a trust issue? Perhaps it's something completely different. 
I can only speak for myself and say that without a doubt that I'm looking for EXACTLY what it states on my profile. That doesn't mean that I trust everybody on this site...too many scammers and such. They usually give themselves away pretty quickly though. I've been burned by trusting people before, but not all people are like that and I'll give people the benefit of the doubt.
I know that if I'm going to find what I'm searching for, I have to be open and trusting, but that trust comes with time...especially on the net. The forums can be a big help in that regard. You have a chance to get the "flavor" of people, as it were.
Just my opinion...
Rob
I can only speak for myself and say that without a doubt that I'm looking for EXACTLY what it states on my profile. That doesn't mean that I trust everybody on this site...too many scammers and such. They usually give themselves away pretty quickly though. I've been burned by trusting people before, but not all people are like that and I'll give people the benefit of the doubt.
I know that if I'm going to find what I'm searching for, I have to be open and trusting, but that trust comes with time...especially on the net. The forums can be a big help in that regard. You have a chance to get the "flavor" of people, as it were.
Just my opinion...
Rob
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canairforcetech: I find that often, people say they want one thing (on their profile) ie long term...but seem to act differently. Perhaps it's a trust issue? Perhaps it's something completely different.
I can only speak for myself and say that without a doubt that I'm looking for EXACTLY what it states on my profile. That doesn't mean that I trust everybody on this site...too many scammers and such. They usually give themselves away pretty quickly though. I've been burned by trusting people before, but not all people are like that and I'll give people the benefit of the doubt.
I know that if I'm going to find what I'm searching for, I have to be open and trusting, but that trust comes with time...especially on the net. The forums can be a big help in that regard. You have a chance to get the "flavor" of people, as it were.
Just my opinion...
Rob
I can only speak for myself and say that without a doubt that I'm looking for EXACTLY what it states on my profile. That doesn't mean that I trust everybody on this site...too many scammers and such. They usually give themselves away pretty quickly though. I've been burned by trusting people before, but not all people are like that and I'll give people the benefit of the doubt.
I know that if I'm going to find what I'm searching for, I have to be open and trusting, but that trust comes with time...especially on the net. The forums can be a big help in that regard. You have a chance to get the "flavor" of people, as it were.
Just my opinion...
Rob
Good for you, Rob!
I read your profile and you were clear in the kind of woman you are looking for to share your life.
Good Job!
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petalbabe: I read alot of the posts that go on on this site, particularly regararding what men and women want from each other.
The main things that seems to put barriers in the way of taking this further are:-
1. Insecurity in oneself;
2. Hurt relating to previous experiences, and prejudice therein;
3. Worries about financial abilities to please the other person;
4. Fears of being hurt again and the automatic implementation of emotional armour to stop someone getting to close.
What is the answer to these impediments? The answer to all is the same. TRUST.
In yourself, to be able to provide, and then trust in the potential partner.
Trust is the hardest thing to regain. But it is surely most important thing to obtain in order to enjoy an loving, longterm relationship. Which, I think, most of us on here would like.
Food for thought.
The main things that seems to put barriers in the way of taking this further are:-
1. Insecurity in oneself;
2. Hurt relating to previous experiences, and prejudice therein;
3. Worries about financial abilities to please the other person;
4. Fears of being hurt again and the automatic implementation of emotional armour to stop someone getting to close.
What is the answer to these impediments? The answer to all is the same. TRUST.
In yourself, to be able to provide, and then trust in the potential partner.
Trust is the hardest thing to regain. But it is surely most important thing to obtain in order to enjoy an loving, longterm relationship. Which, I think, most of us on here would like.
Food for thought.
These are but preceptions of the mind. If you want to get beyond these blocks, then you need to change the way you think.
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Boy, what a good thread, Petal! And yes, so true. I see many on here who have been hurt in previous relationship but have not gotten over their bitterness, and bring it into forums in the form of "why can't women....?", "why can't men.....?", "why do all men/women....?"
Heal thyself first. Take the time to get over your pain and bitterness, for if you can't do that, you can never have a good, healthy relationship. Learn to love yourself for who you are, for only then can another love you for who you are...how can anyone else love someone who doesn't love themselves?
And trust. Oh yes...without trust, you have nothing. If you can't ever fully trust another person, especially one of the opposite gender, then you will never have a real relationship with one again. If you can't trust completely like that, you have not completed step one...heal first.
I carry a very small overnight bag from my past experiences, and I've been through a lot of horrible things. I have healed. I have learned to love and accept myself, even the worst of myself, and to change the things that I don't like, but to still accept myself for them, and love myself anyway. I have memories of the things done and said to me in the past, but they no longer have the power to hurt me. They are past...done and gone. Healed. The memories are in that overnight bag, and I have it set down and aside, out of the way, for I know that the man I love now is not those men. He is him. I love him for who he is, and I trust him completely. The past made us each who we are now, but does not color our present and future.
This is the place everyone should strive to reach, for it is not until you do that you can have a good, healthy relationship with another.
Heal thyself first. Take the time to get over your pain and bitterness, for if you can't do that, you can never have a good, healthy relationship. Learn to love yourself for who you are, for only then can another love you for who you are...how can anyone else love someone who doesn't love themselves?
And trust. Oh yes...without trust, you have nothing. If you can't ever fully trust another person, especially one of the opposite gender, then you will never have a real relationship with one again. If you can't trust completely like that, you have not completed step one...heal first.
I carry a very small overnight bag from my past experiences, and I've been through a lot of horrible things. I have healed. I have learned to love and accept myself, even the worst of myself, and to change the things that I don't like, but to still accept myself for them, and love myself anyway. I have memories of the things done and said to me in the past, but they no longer have the power to hurt me. They are past...done and gone. Healed. The memories are in that overnight bag, and I have it set down and aside, out of the way, for I know that the man I love now is not those men. He is him. I love him for who he is, and I trust him completely. The past made us each who we are now, but does not color our present and future.
This is the place everyone should strive to reach, for it is not until you do that you can have a good, healthy relationship with another.
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Trust requires a huge step on an unknown branch. It may break, it may hold. But there is only one way to find out. Take the step.
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buzzy: Trust requires a huge step on an unknown branch. It may break, it may hold. But there is only one way to find out. Take the step.
True.------ This thread is Archived ------
Love requires a strong heart.
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druidess6308: Boy, what a good thread, Petal! And yes, so true. I see many on here who have been hurt in previous relationship but have not gotten over their bitterness, and bring it into forums in the form of "why can't women....?", "why can't men.....?", "why do all men/women....?"
Heal thyself first. Take the time to get over your pain and bitterness, for if you can't do that, you can never have a good, healthy relationship. Learn to love yourself for who you are, for only then can another love you for who you are...how can anyone else love someone who doesn't love themselves?
And trust. Oh yes...without trust, you have nothing. If you can't ever fully trust another person, especially one of the opposite gender, then you will never have a real relationship with one again. If you can't trust completely like that, you have not completed step one...heal first.
I carry a very small overnight bag from my past experiences, and I've been through a lot of horrible things. I have healed. I have learned to love and accept myself, even the worst of myself, and to change the things that I don't like, but to still accept myself for them, and love myself anyway. I have memories of the things done and said to me in the past, but they no longer have the power to hurt me. They are past...done and gone. Healed. The memories are in that overnight bag, and I have it set down and aside, out of the way, for I know that the man I love now is not those men. He is him. I love him for who he is, and I trust him completely. The past made us each who we are now, but does not color our present and future.
This is the place everyone should strive to reach, for it is not until you do that you can have a good, healthy relationship with another.
Heal thyself first. Take the time to get over your pain and bitterness, for if you can't do that, you can never have a good, healthy relationship. Learn to love yourself for who you are, for only then can another love you for who you are...how can anyone else love someone who doesn't love themselves?
And trust. Oh yes...without trust, you have nothing. If you can't ever fully trust another person, especially one of the opposite gender, then you will never have a real relationship with one again. If you can't trust completely like that, you have not completed step one...heal first.
I carry a very small overnight bag from my past experiences, and I've been through a lot of horrible things. I have healed. I have learned to love and accept myself, even the worst of myself, and to change the things that I don't like, but to still accept myself for them, and love myself anyway. I have memories of the things done and said to me in the past, but they no longer have the power to hurt me. They are past...done and gone. Healed. The memories are in that overnight bag, and I have it set down and aside, out of the way, for I know that the man I love now is not those men. He is him. I love him for who he is, and I trust him completely. The past made us each who we are now, but does not color our present and future.
This is the place everyone should strive to reach, for it is not until you do that you can have a good, healthy relationship with another.
Well said. As long as that "overnight bag" can fit in the overhead compartment, you're good to go.
That is, indeed, the place we SHOULD be trying to reach. I would not change anything in my past, since my past is a big part of what has made me who I am NOW. I don't just love that person, I LIKE him too...despite the flaws and chips...lol
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canairforcetech: Well said. As long as that "overnight bag" can fit in the overhead compartment, you're good to go.
That is, indeed, the place we SHOULD be trying to reach. I would not change anything in my past, since my past is a big part of what has made me who I am NOW. I don't just love that person, I LIKE him too...despite the flaws and chips...lol
That is, indeed, the place we SHOULD be trying to reach. I would not change anything in my past, since my past is a big part of what has made me who I am NOW. I don't just love that person, I LIKE him too...despite the flaws and chips...lol
Absolutely, that overnight bag fits in an overhead compartment. People shouldn't take baggage any larger than that into a relationship. And yes, you should like yourself as well as love yourself. Like is an important part of love often overlooked. You have to like you, and you have to like the other people, too.
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druidess6308: Absolutely, that overnight bag fits in an overhead compartment. People shouldn't take baggage any larger than that into a relationship. And yes, you should like yourself as well as love yourself. Like is an important part of love often overlooked. You have to like you, and you have to like the other people, too.
Yup...you can love someone but if you don't LIKE 'em, it's not going to be a very healthy relationship.
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petalbabe: I read alot of the posts that go on on this site, particularly regararding what men and women want from each other.
The main things that seems to put barriers in the way of taking this further are:-
1. Insecurity in oneself;
2. Hurt relating to previous experiences, and prejudice therein;
3. Worries about financial abilities to please the other person;
4. Fears of being hurt again and the automatic implementation of emotional armour to stop someone getting to close.
What is the answer to these impediments? The answer to all is the same. TRUST.
In yourself, to be able to provide, and then trust in the potential partner.
Trust is the hardest thing to regain. But it is surely most important thing to obtain in order to enjoy an loving, longterm relationship. Which, I think, most of us on here would like.
Food for thought.
The main things that seems to put barriers in the way of taking this further are:-
1. Insecurity in oneself;
2. Hurt relating to previous experiences, and prejudice therein;
3. Worries about financial abilities to please the other person;
4. Fears of being hurt again and the automatic implementation of emotional armour to stop someone getting to close.
What is the answer to these impediments? The answer to all is the same. TRUST.
In yourself, to be able to provide, and then trust in the potential partner.
Trust is the hardest thing to regain. But it is surely most important thing to obtain in order to enjoy an loving, longterm relationship. Which, I think, most of us on here would like.
Food for thought.
It all starts with trusting yourself and being honest with yourself
Everybody has a hungry
Feed it!
Thanks for the quality thought petalbabe...
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petalbabe: Trust is the hardest thing to regain. But it is surely most important thing to obtain in order to enjoy an loving, longterm relationship. Which, I think, most of us on here would like.
There you have it. I can't bring myself to ever trust anyone again, even if it's in my own best interest.
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Created: Feb 2009
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- The weird and the random facts around the world
- Democrats destroyed America
- Unions support Democrats!
- Karen McDougal - Playmate Model will testify in Hush Money Trial
- s*xual skills
- Why is this shameful?
- your favorite topic?
- wanting beyond need
- Would you hire this guy - for any job?
- men's perspective towards women
The main things that seems to put barriers in the way of taking this further are:-
1. Insecurity in oneself;
2. Hurt relating to previous experiences, and prejudice therein;
3. Worries about financial abilities to please the other person;
4. Fears of being hurt again and the automatic implementation of emotional armour to stop someone getting to close.
What is the answer to these impediments? The answer to all is the same. TRUST.
In yourself, to be able to provide, and then trust in the potential partner.
Trust is the hardest thing to regain. But it is surely most important thing to obtain in order to enjoy an loving, longterm relationship. Which, I think, most of us on here would like.
Food for thought.