LEGAL SEPARATIONS.... ( Archived) (55)

true, joanie...
also, if no lawyer can be afforded? there legal aid where you are? I tried for my court hearings, but legal aid never called, and I heard they wouldn't...so backed up...

So, my advocates, and some folks here gave me input... did it myself.

My first divorce--I drew up the papers myself--no attorney needed. I had a good friend that had done that and I used a copy of hers-just added my info. We did not have anything together-so it was no big deal. This time--Big deal.... I have been told by a few other women that live in Al. that legal aid is a joke. IF you can get seen by one of their attorney's--they really don't care at all about anyone or anything. I don't know if it is true or not and am kinda scared to take the chance. I don't work outside of our house-so no income of my own that will be coming in steady. I was hoping he and I could come to agree what has already been written down. He is just not wanting to let go.....I mean-if you know the marriage is over--why hang on......????????....

I just did the process myself with help from womens crisis...

but, ifyou don't need those services, you can still do it yourself.

make lists..write everything down...

if he sill insists on no divorce, and you do...the judge will decide whatto do...

cannot stay married if one just wants out.

it'll probably give yu time for a temporary hearing ( you can tentatively rough draft what you want... he'll be required to do the same...)
states are different. they usually allow a cool down period before the final hearing...
Mine was expidited because of what the kids and I were going hrough. So, I was lucky.

wish you luck...

Thank you~~~~~~I think I am going to need!!! Guys---I really appreciate all the advice!!!!!!!!!! It's also nice to know that someone else understands and has been there...

THANK YOU

I had to jump in here on this one. I went through my divorce after my seperation 4 years ago. Go to the courthouse or library or call the courthouse and ask. Every state has different rules. If i wouldn't have gotten my seperation papers which he didn't have to sign, when i did i would've got stuck paying about 3 grand in bills that he ran up. Plus i put in my seperation papers that i had sole custody of our son and he had visitation rights but no over night stays. If i wouldn't have he could have taken him and ran. I talked to a police officer and he said if it's not in seperation papers then there would've been nothing to stop him. Also try the internet and see what you can find out. What state are you in? I can do some checking for you. I am studying to be a paralegal so i do know some of the laws. When i got my seperation i did it completely on my own. It cost me about $110 i think. But I lucked out my ex-husband never fought me on anything. If you have any questions let me know, i might be able to help you.

I don't know about Canada, but in some U.S. states, a marriage longer than ten years is considered "long term" and the partner is entitled to collect a portion of his retirement benefits, in addition to staying on his medical plan at work for a certain amount of time. PLEASE look up online to see what your rights are in your area and then see an attorney. Find out all you can about your entitlements and you will have the proper questions to ask an attorney.

Find about what arrangements will be made for child care, who will pay for that, are if you entitled to alimony in additon to child support.

Before my first divorce I was separated. I got my own room. I came to see my ex to talk. Her mother had convinced her to put a police order against me to keep me away. I left going back to my room. I went to work where the sherriff showed up with the divorce papers for me to sign in front of all my friends. My clothes were delivered by the police in three garbage bags in the lobby of the hotel where all my friends got to see me pick those clothes up. Everything else was sold that was mine even the car that I made the payments on. Before the second divorce the lady I was talking to online wanted to talk to my wife to discuss my behavior online. They had a nice conversation after which my wife tore into me. I was ready for a divorce and I paid for it the second time. The third time the wife died. I have learned one thing which has remained constant for 22 years of sobriety and clean time; "To thine ownself be true."

When I was legally separated, we kept things as simple and amicable as possible. Although we were both advised by the lawyer who wrote up the agreement that we should list and value all of our assets both prior to, and during the marriage, we chose not to do it.

One reason that we were told it should be done is if equalization of assets comes into question...basically, they evalutate income, retirement funds, assets, etc., and see if one should owe money to the other once separated.

In our case, we only wanted what each of us considered to be ours during our marriage, so it was pretty straightforward. If you and your husband can't agree on these things, it could get ugly.

Either way, you will be advised that the lawyer who writes up the agreement cannot act on behalf of both of you, no matter how amicably the agreement is intended to be.

Wishing you luck!

M.

That is sooo sweet of you. I'm in Alabama. I appreciate any input I can get..:bye:

My "hubby" is a lot of things-but violent is not one of them. If he had ever raised a hand to me-I would have already shot him.(I'm really not kidding..) I was in that kind of relationship several yrs. ago and will not EVER be in that position again. It is because of that-I bought a pistol and got a concealed weapon permit and carry it everywhere.
Actually, hubby is a good man--just a lousy husband and father. I married for stability and security(PEOPLE NEVER--EVER-make that mistake)--it does not last........He just does not want me to leave and to divorce him...He knows that I'm unhappy and want out--he is blocking me at every turn. I'm not even fighting about the house and major things like that...Dunno...He says he still loves me--I just don't love him and want out!!!!!He is driving me nuts....