Get some help. ( Archived) (123)

Ditto that.




Hi Morgan , hi Elaine!

morgan what a waste of space to quote that


anyway hiiiiiiiiii girls


im actually on my way out

i am at work and it is time to prepar for

well

the end





see you folks later

First, excellent thread idea, Laura. Second, I found therapy very helpful. I was told, ultimately, that "You are, to be blunt, a card-carrying nutcase!" and I appreciated having my self-intuitions professionally verified.

I thought you might be rather skeptical about therapy after your response to a couple of comments I made awhile back on the subject (cheating people).

Part of the problem is one of expectations, I suspect, Laura. There are some things that you can't explain away or make better, necessarily; there are some things that can be explained, and through that explanation, possibly help matters. If you do thing, for instance, under a false assumption, and you are led to see that false assumption, your behavior and perhaps your entire life may change positively.

Regarding your disappointment over your daughter's choice - OUCH! Double OUCH! - that was rationally based and as such not likely amenable to dissuasion. Perhaps just talking to someone could have cathartic value, but it seems not in this case. Perhaps your therapist tried to talk you out of believing as you did that it was a mistake, or (more likely) into accepting it. I don't see this case as being a particularly promising area for therapy...unless your response to your daughter's decision came from some "deep-seated" issue of yours that you were unaware of...? I don't think that would be likely, however. Who wants to see their "babies" piss their lives foolishly away? But I would suspect that at some point she will return to school - and she did give you some gorgeous grandchildren, no?

My own experience with therapy, to address your question (finally), is that it did little to alleviate any of my "issues." However, your therapy is only as good as your therapist. They are all far from equal.

Well, I think you're wise to be skeptical, Laura, to call the claim that therapy can be helpful a "myth" is taking too strong of a position (from your own personal experience?) - and one that I know will be largely contradicted by other people's experiences. (That isn't to say that their belief they've been helped is always accurate, however.)

You likely face some individual obstacles in your seeking help from a therapist. First, your upbringing and cultural background may tend to resist that kind of thing (just speculating). But more importantly, your exceptional intelligence probably is the main obstacle. For someone to do anything positive for you, he or she would probably have to be exceptionally intelligent and perceptive as well. Otherwise, your time is most likely going to be wasted. As I've written before, not all therapists are equal. It could be like putting together a professional team of athletes. Your success will depend on the individual skills of the athletes.

I wouldn't necessarily disagree, Laura. I've seen a lot of helpful advice given here.

A side point - inspired by reading various references to "God" here - some people feel better when they pray to their god and ask for reassurance, help, etc. They of course would not obtain that hypothetical benefit if they didn't believe.

Something analogous could apply to therapy (or hypnosis, where resistance reduces or prevents its effectiveness): if you don't believe, you probably aren't going to get any benefit.

Kinda what I said ealier, and I would also add that some talk down to thepatients or say things that they think, might be over their heads, but are not, so in some instances they can feel worse going to one..